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Old 01-31-2013, 08:58 AM   #41
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Re: Deciding not to breast feed in advancei

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Originally Posted by theonenonlymrssmith View Post
I have nothing nice to say, so I guess it's best to keep my mouth shut for the most part although I REALLY don't want to. :-)

However, to stay in topic, the ones i have met were worried about ruining their boobs, another didn't want to deal with the "learning curve". And i have Heard of some mothers who may have flashback to sexual abuse and choose not to.

For the record, my first son was formula fed due to no milk supply (I have hypo-plastic breasts) so I absolutely know that formula has its place, but not a day goes by that I don't feel guilty that I wasn't able to nurse my first son.
You shouldn't feel guilty
I hate these stupid mommy war topics! Blargh!

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Old 01-31-2013, 09:01 AM   #42
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Re: Deciding not to breast feed in advancei

ETA: Sorry I sometimes forget people do not deal with these abbreviations. TPN aka total parenteral nutrition means someone that is feed intravenously.


For me the milk production was easy, never even got to try latching though. My son was born with developmental and medical problems. He never developed in full a suck reflex. He was very sickly and there were several weeks I honestly thought he might not survive. His GI back ups were so massive they had a constant drain in his stomach because he couldn't even handle the secretions the body naturally produces. NICU nurses measured his belly daily to monitor distention and the pediatric surgeon was bedside almost daily trying to stimulate the bowels into working. With everything going on he was completely TPN dependent for a quite awhile with an occasional trial with pumped breast milk. He did finally get to go home at 7 weeks on tube feeds.

I only pumped for 2 months. Partly because I missed so much work between the NICU, doctors appointments and therapy appointments that I just couldn't bring myself to ask work to make even more exceptions for pump breaks (I was regularly missing at least 1 day or more almost every single week and finally had to quit work when he was 10 months old). The other half was when I was home my son needed medical procedures, regular infant care, therapy exercises etc... There was almost no downtime to pump unless I wished to give up what few precious hours of sleep I was able to snag.

The decision to stop pumping was a sanity saver for me. I knew I would mentally snap if I pressured myself into doing more then I was physically and professionally capable of at the time. Fortunately during those two months I produced tons of milk and for a few weeks he took little to no oral feeds due to severe GI distress so I was actual able to tube in breast milk for almost 6 months.

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Old 01-31-2013, 09:06 AM   #43
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Originally Posted by Tris

You shouldn't feel guilty
I hate these stupid mommy war topics! Blargh!
It really isn't because if any mommy wars. My son ended up being horribly allergic to formula, causing his skin to split and bleed all over, constant projectile vomiting and acid reflux. Not to mention the fact that I don't understand how surviving off of CORN SYRUP is considered "thriving" but then again, I'm a health nut. And to each his own :-)

Maybe we should start a new thread, "what's worse, spanking or formula?" Hahaha.
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Old 01-31-2013, 09:16 AM   #44
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Re: Deciding not to breast feed in advancei

Hmmm, how to put it nicely to the overly judgmental OP.

I chose to breastfeed all six of my children. Only two of them nursed nicely. And I wish that I hadn't put myself through hell with my sixth and just formula fed her from the beginning. That would have meant anti-depressants from the beginning but oh well.

I have 6 tongue tied children, we didn't figure out the three boys until the sixth was born, the two oldest girls we found out after my fifth was born, and I KNEW the sixth was tongue tied.

I went through a 36 hour induction (not that it matters why I chose an induction but since I'll be judged if I don't explain :twitch: I had a grade 3 placenta, GD and I was induced at 39+5 and delivered ON my due date), during said induction I developed a fever and needed antibiotics. My daughters sugars wouldn't stabilize because of the tongue tie and it was extremely painful for me. Then she had to have multiple shots of antibiotics over two days. The pump they gave me to use while she was getting formula, didn't have the right size flanges and so I couldn't get milk out.

Then get her tongue clipped, and not enough was gone, then I developed mastitis and since she really wasn't getting anything from me. After the antibiotics were gone and my milk was gone so that the mastitis was gone, I started relactating. It took a month.

I nursed my daughter for 2 months, traveled from GA to NY to see a specialist to clip her tongue. In addition to seeing four Drs in my area. It was not successful at all, in the end, she only gained 1/2 an inch and 8 ounces in 2 months. I put her square on formula and never looked back.

I could have saved myself tons of anguish, heart ache and MONEY if I had formula fed from the beginning. Think around the lines of $4000!

All in all, it is really not any of your business why people choose to FFeed, its really not your place to JUDGE their choices for formula feeding. Maybe just maybe, you don't need to know and you aren't close enough to them to know the reasons.

I hope that you do not pass the judgmental tendencies onto your children.
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Old 01-31-2013, 09:23 AM   #45
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Re: Deciding not to breast feed in advancei

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Originally Posted by theonenonlymrssmith View Post
It really isn't because if any mommy wars. My son ended up being horribly allergic to formula, causing his skin to split and bleed all over, constant projectile vomiting and acid reflux. Not to mention the fact that I don't understand how surviving off of CORN SYRUP is considered "thriving" but then again, I'm a health nut. And to each his own :-)

Maybe we should start a new thread, "what's worse, spanking or formula?" Hahaha.
I'm so sorry you had such a bad experience That's awful for any mommy, pro- BFing or not!!!

I think the mommy war threads sometimes are just too funny.

It's always just a matter of time before someone goes off the deep end and screams "ABUSE!"

So if you do any of the following, you are abusing/neglecting/screwing up your kids. Don't argue, just shut up and hang your head in shame. You will never be a good mommy:

Spank
Circ
Formula Feed
Use the words "NO" or "OBEDIENT"
Don't RF till your kid is 12
Don't let your kids masturbate
Let them eat McDonald's or other junky food
Let them watch TV
Buy them electronic gadgets

...you can never win at this parenting gig. So you might as well admit defeat. You are a crappy parent. How dare you reproduce! ... and by YOU, I mean every parent.

Last edited by Kiliki; 01-31-2013 at 09:24 AM.
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Old 01-31-2013, 09:30 AM   #46
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Re: Deciding not to breast feed in advancei

It's common, and it can be for all sorts of reasons. Not educated on BFing, no support (family, friends, LCs), formula gets pushed on them, they give up because it's painful and can't find support or help, they believe formula is better or just as good, they have to go back to work, can't afford a pump, and so on. I've met all sorts of women who didn't nurse and used formula from the get go or very shortly after birth. Majority of my family who are having babies (I'd say within the past 10 years) do not nurse. They use formula starting in the hospital. Most are uneducated about breastfeeding, and a few find nursing to be gross because they can't seperate boobs for feeding and boobs for sexual pleasure.

ETA: I also wanted to add, sexual abuse, father doesn't want mom to nurse (usually in this case the husband/boyfriend is abusive in some form), get a lot of grief from mom's parents (many new moms today were not breastfed), and so on.

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Old 01-31-2013, 09:32 AM   #47
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Re: Deciding not to breast feed in advancei

Yeah I don't find judgmental threads that make moms feel ****ty funny, at all.
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Old 01-31-2013, 09:34 AM   #48
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Re: Deciding not to breast feed in advancei

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Originally Posted by Kiliki View Post
I think the mommy war threads sometimes are just too funny.


Spank
Circ
Formula Feed
Use the words "NO" or "OBEDIENT"
Don't RF till your kid is 12
Don't let your kids masturbate
Let them eat McDonald's or other junky food
Let them watch TV
Buy them electronic gadgets
.
You forgot cry it out, and put your child into a public school to be left to rot his brain away while kids throw sharpened pencils at him or her.

I always laugh at the threads that start out innocently enough, ("My son tripped over his shoe lace at school and had four stitches") Then, someone has to say "And THAT'S why we home school".
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Old 01-31-2013, 09:38 AM   #49
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Re: Deciding not to breast feed in advancei

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You forgot cry it out, and put your child into a public school to be left to rot his brain away while kids throw sharpened pencils at him or her.
dang. I knew I forgot some in there. Cry it out! How could I forget that! Oh wait, I suck at everything....

Oh, and daycare. HOW COULD YOU LET SOMEONE ELSE RAISE YOUR KIDS!???

You are such a sad excuse for a mom.
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Old 01-31-2013, 09:39 AM   #50
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Re: Deciding not to breast feed in advancei

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I have also never liked my boobs touched a sexual. I do not get aroused, in fact I get turned off. I allow my DH to touch them as he likes them, but it does nothing for me. In my world, boobies are for babies and filling out sweaters...LOL!
My DH calls boobs sweater yams
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