February/March Chat Thread

[Mama2ManyBoyz]

Honestly I think if that ever happened to us, I would be done. I can hardly handle the rollercoaster as it is.

[dalynn1997]

Well, I guess getting investigated by DCS is on the air. Just had an awful day and so angry right now I could spit nails! Pretty sure it's over but basically I voiced a medical concern with Hope by email. I was called and told to take her immediately to Children's Hospital where DCS ahiwed up and they investigated me for medical neglect. Hospital told them that I actually reacted appropriately to the situation.

[jenfostermom]

Ohhhh Dalynn I'm so sorry! Was it awful? Do you know for sure it's done now?

We heard yesterday that our case was officially closed. I feel like I can finally breathe. It was horrible. The SW is giving me a little bit of a hard time about being angry with biomom and unwilling to even be there for handoffs at supervised visitation. I told her I need some time and distance from this nightmare. Mom texted on Sunday night basically saying that since it's been a couple of days I should not be angry anymore, and I need to see it from her perspective, and that she hopes it won't jeopardize our communication. Fat freaking chance!!! I'm pissed. I feel like I was attacked and violated. I feel like my family was under a microscope and I was treated like a common criminal, questioned by numerous police and hospital staff and the tone was all skeptical like they believed I had done it.

Somehow in these situations I wish that they could take into account the reputation of the accuser and accusee. Drug addict with numerous kids (none of which are in her care) versus background checked, licensed foster home with a perfect track record and 37 placements over the last six years. I know they would have still done it but the tone and perspective could have been that they just need to document it, not that they felt like I could have done something so heinous.

Sigh. Just glad it's done. In other news, the baby is just lovely. She's three weeks now and we are enjoying every moment of it. Her dispo hearing is next week and the GAL called already and is coming out to meet her and see the house tomorrow. We just got assigned an ongoing worker and she is coming out to see her on Monday. Glad this case is moving right along, from what I've heard so far neither bio parent are interested at all. Mom is on the run and alleged dad so far isn't even willing to fill out initial paperwork. Could be an easy one...... (hopefully not jinxing myself here)

[FindingMercy]

Biodad's 30 days are over!!!!!

TPR is in progress, just waiting to hear when the hearing will be and then we can finalize!!

[sunnymommy]

We were supposed to attend a training this Thur and Fri. It is required of all families doing a home study through our agency. Since we are an identified adoption we are a little out of order - normally it would be done before going into the waiting pool to be matched. The last one they offered was last Oct and by the time her birthmom finally relinquished right before the training dates there was not time to schedule dh off work and childcare, etc. Well it just got canceled for a snowstorm coming in tonight and will be rescheduled for Mar or Apr. This is frustrating because they will not let us finalize the adoption until we have taken it. And our six months is up Apr10th. Our lawyer said she could take the paperwork and request the hearing in March since it takes a month to get a court date.

Finding mercy - Yay

[sunnymommy]

Originally Posted by dalynn1997 Well, I guess getting investigated by DCS is on the air. Just had an awful day and so angry right now I could spit nails! Pretty sure it's over but basically I voiced a medical concern with Hope by email. I was called and told to take her immediately to Children's Hospital where DCS ahiwed up and they investigated me for medical neglect. Hospital told them that I actually reacted appropriately to the situation.

What ?! Sorry Mama
Why is it always the foster parents that are treated like this? You can sort of comprehend at least why some bios in their twisted worlds make allegations, but for dcfs to act like that

[Msheidiann]

Originally Posted by FindingMercy Biodad's 30 days are over!!!!! TPR is in progress, just waiting to hear when the hearing will be and then we can finalize!!

YAYYYYY!!!!!! I wish it was 30 days here!! I am so so happy for you!

[dalynn1997]

Well, thought it was over last night. But because the assessment cleared us on the medical neglect and the children's hospital cleared NOW the same supervisor is basically accusing us of shaken baby and that could be why she has neuro issue/CP. hope is totally fine today. She puked 3 times Saturday night but had no fever. I didn't take her to ER and sent an email to her CW. She wasn't acting quite right for a few days but never a fever or serious. Her CW was off work so she forwarded it to supervisor incase I decided to take her to doctor.

I used the word OVERWHELMED in my email and that I no longer wanted to communicate issues with Hopes aunt so if she wanted her to know then for her to tell her. I meant overwhelmed because of communication with aunt not because if Mimi's care. Well last year this supervisor had a child die from shaken baby on her caseload at the hands of the parents. So she now feels like I warrant being investigated.

It is bad and if they remove her, I could lose her and NB who we are adopting. Scary part is that an MRI will show brain damage if Hope has CP. thankfully, I have sent so much info to her CW and hopefully it will help. Her CW was here today and she feels horrible that she forwarded the email. She is really advocating for us but admits her supervisor seems to be on a rampage.

Prayers are greatly appreciated.

[mmbreb]

Originally Posted by dalynn1997 Well, thought it was over last night. But because the assessment cleared us on the medical neglect and the children's hospital cleared NOW the same supervisor is basically accusing us of shaken baby and that could be why she has neuro issue/CP. hope is totally fine today. She puked 3 times Saturday night but had no fever. I didn't take her to ER and sent an email to her CW. She wasn't acting quite right for a few days but never a fever or serious. Her CW was off work so she forwarded it to supervisor incase I decided to take her to doctor. I used the word OVERWHELMED in my email and that I no longer wanted to communicate issues with Hopes aunt so if she wanted her to know then for her to tell her. I meant overwhelmed because of communication with aunt not because if Mimi's care. Well last year this supervisor had a child die from shaken baby on her caseload at the hands of the parents. So she now feels like I warrant being investigated. It is bad and if they remove her, I could lose her and NB who we are adopting. Scary part is that an MRI will show brain damage if Hope has CP. thankfully, I have sent so much info to her CW and hopefully it will help. Her CW was here today and she feels horrible that she forwarded the email. She is really advocating for us but admits her supervisor seems to be on a rampage. Prayers are greatly appreciated.

Wow so scary. I am so sorry. I can only imagine how you must be feeling I know if anything like this happens DH would be DONE. This is his biggest fear (as it is for most of us I think!

AFM: I am feeling frustrated. We have no new information and it is driving me crazy. There is a newborn sitting in a hospital with no one to visit and hold her because I cant get these CW to get the information where it needs to be. To be fare my agency has been contacting me a few times a day but she is still under the state (I thought she was with another agency but it turns out she is with DHS) I just want answers to SOOOO many questions right now. I do not do well with sitting on my hands and waiting!

[sunnymommy]

Originally Posted by dalynn1997 Well, thought it was over last night. But because the assessment cleared us on the medical neglect and the children's hospital cleared NOW the same supervisor is basically accusing us of shaken baby and that could be why she has neuro issue/CP. hope is totally fine today. She puked 3 times Saturday night but had no fever. I didn't take her to ER and sent an email to her CW. She wasn't acting quite right for a few days but never a fever or serious. Her CW was off work so she forwarded it to supervisor incase I decided to take her to doctor. I used the word OVERWHELMED in my email and that I no longer wanted to communicate issues with Hopes aunt so if she wanted her to know then for her to tell her. I meant overwhelmed because of communication with aunt not because if Mimi's care. Well last year this supervisor had a child die from shaken baby on her caseload at the hands of the parents. So she now feels like I warrant being investigated. It is bad and if they remove her, I could lose her and NB who we are adopting. Scary part is that an MRI will show brain damage if Hope has CP. thankfully, I have sent so much info to her CW and hopefully it will help. Her CW was here today and she feels horrible that she forwarded the email. She is really advocating for us but admits her supervisor seems to be on a rampage. Prayers are greatly appreciated.

Oh Mama Praying for your family. My heart is so heavy for you tonight. I can Not believe all this for a baby that had a stomach bug. Everyone has got that this winter. I am not in the medical field but I have got to think that medical evidence would clear a baby who has not been shaken so praying for that.