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Old 02-03-2013, 08:52 PM   #21
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Originally Posted by EmilytheStrange
why are we so concerned with other people's parenting decisions, period?

we all have our own gardens to cultivate.
Yep. This.

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Old 02-03-2013, 09:19 PM   #22
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Originally Posted by umphreysmommy
I am not "concerned" about what other people do. At the end of the day I don't lose sleep over what others do with their kids. I care on a bigger level like that report that came out last year that we can save billions if most people breastfed and that our children would be much healthier. I care about changing the cultural perceptions of breastfeeding and making sure there is support for every mom who wants to breastfeed. I care about getting pumping opportunities for working moms. I care about true informed consent and parents having information before they make decisions. I care about the waste and environmental costs. I care about hospitals not sabotaging breastfeeding by separating moms and babies and advertising for formula companies. I care about women's right to nurse and baby's right to eat wherever without harassment. I care about all those things and more but no I don't care if a mom formula feeds as an individual, I am much more concerned about the mass effects it is having on society as a whole.
This. Very much. You worded it so much better than I could. I commented in another thread about my SIL who tells every expectant mom she meets that BF is way harder than FF, it hurts, its gross, boobs are sex organs, etc. She goes so far as to say that the only people who BF are ones who can't afford formula. It frustrates me not because she chooses formula, but because she believes all those things and continues to push them on other people. It's the fact that whole segments of society think the way she does, because they've been taught to think that way. They've been told over and over things about formula and breast feeding that aren't true.

SIL offered to buy us formula when she heard I was planning to BF DS1. She offered to take me to WIC, which I already knew we didn't qualify for and didn't need or want, because obviously we were too poor to buy our own formula. Every time he cried (which was rare, as he was very laid back), she tried to tell me he needed formula. Supposedly, I wasn't allowing DH to bond with his son because I was BFing, even though DH was feeding him pumped milk through bottles. She blames every cry on colic and in her eyes, formula cures colic.

Anyway, my point is that while her attitudes could get frustrating, she really thought she was doing what was best. She thought she was helping. She didn't know better and her attitudes keep getting passed on to other new moms.
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Old 02-03-2013, 09:51 PM   #23
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Re: s/o Why are we so concerned about fomula feeders

Quote:
Originally Posted by umphreysmommy View Post
I am not "concerned" about what other people do. At the end of the day I don't lose sleep over what others do with their kids. I care on a bigger level like that report that came out last year that we can save billions if most people breastfed and that our children would be much healthier. I care about changing the cultural perceptions of breastfeeding and making sure there is support for every mom who wants to breastfeed. I care about getting pumping opportunities for working moms. I care about true informed consent and parents having information before they make decisions. I care about the waste and environmental costs. I care about hospitals not sabotaging breastfeeding by separating moms and babies and advertising for formula companies. I care about women's right to nurse and baby's right to eat wherever without harassment. I care about all those things and more but no I don't care if a mom formula feeds as an individual, I am much more concerned about the mass effects it is having on society as a whole.

I agree with this completely.

I try very very very hard to be non-judgmental when it comes to individuals with their own kids. What works for one, might not for another. And there's 500 billion and one things that families can all do differently, that we could all argue about.

I don't want to be judged for my crappy parenting. I try to extend that same courtesy to all other crappy parents. (By the way, I've decided ALL parents are crappy in one way or another.)

But I do see the bigger picture in this instance. And THAT is what I would like to see change.
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Old 02-04-2013, 05:14 AM   #24
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I still believe those who get so fired up about it are suffering from an inferiority complex and do not have much else to champion in their lives outside a mom identity. They put others down to make themselves feel superior.

I've never seen anyone argue that breast isn't best (providing it works). However, I was in that militant, judgy mom group when I breastfed my babies, and looking back, I was so vocal because that was the biggest part of my world and it made me feel proud, sometimes at the expense of others. Now, I just find it sad. Life is so much bigger than what you feed your kid as an infant.
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Old 02-04-2013, 06:20 AM   #25
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Re: s/o Why are we so concerned about fomula feeders

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Originally Posted by Mama*Kim View Post
This. Very much. You worded it so much better than I could. I commented in another thread about my SIL who tells every expectant mom she meets that BF is way harder than FF, it hurts, its gross, boobs are sex organs, etc. She goes so far as to say that the only people who BF are ones who can't afford formula. It frustrates me not because she chooses formula, but because she believes all those things and continues to push them on other people. It's the fact that whole segments of society think the way she does, because they've been taught to think that way. They've been told over and over things about formula and breast feeding that aren't true.

<snip>.
What's ironic to me, is that there is an entire segment of the population that could substitute breastfeeding for formula in the above paragraph. Formula feeding is harder/more trouble, BF doesn't hurt when done right (I am a successful nurser and it hurt like the ****ens for the first weeks with every kid), breasts are not sexual organs (really they are dual purpose), formula is gross (I don't care for the smell myself, but sour breastmilk has formula beat any day for me), the only people who formula feed are poor people because they are ignorant and can get free formula via WIC, that a baby with digestive problems on formula has those problems due to not being BF (based on what I've seen posted here, it varies greatly and has more to do with the individual food sensitivities), and (my personal favorite) you can't possibly bond as well with your baby if you formula feed.
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Old 02-04-2013, 06:50 AM   #26
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Re: s/o Why are we so concerned about fomula feeders

What you choose to do in the end is ultimately your choice but don't think for one minute that formula is the same,better or as good as breastmilk because it's not. It's simply an artifical substitute.
as for why we should be concerned there are many reasons...
http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/#sa-ns_mch...PublicRSS20-sa
http://www.infactcanada.ca/pdf/14-Risks-Small.pdf
http://www.vaccineriskawareness.com/...f-Formula-Milk
http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC2812877/

whatever choice you make be firm in it stop getting upset and feeling judged whenever someone questions your choice apparently you made it for a reason.
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Old 02-04-2013, 06:51 AM   #27
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Re: s/o Why are we so concerned about fomula feeders

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Old 02-04-2013, 07:02 AM   #28
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Quote:
Originally Posted by EmilytheStrange
why are we so concerned with other people's parenting decisions, period?

we all have our own gardens to cultivate.
Because of our children's future, I'd like to hope.
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Old 02-04-2013, 07:08 AM   #29
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I'm more concerned when women who want to BF aren't being given the support they need to continue.

For example, I knew one woman who was urged to switch to formula by her doctor because her son was in the 50th percentile for weight. Maybe something more was going on than she told me, but that alone devastated her.

Other than that, I'm glad when a woman chooses BF or FF to suit her family's needs. I think we all try to do what is best for our children.
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Old 02-04-2013, 07:15 AM   #30
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Re: s/o Why are we so concerned about fomula feeders

Quote:
Originally Posted by kattayanna_mom View Post
What you choose to do in the end is ultimately your choice but don't think for one minute that formula is the same,better or as good as breastmilk because it's not. It's simply an artifical substitute.
as for why we should be concerned there are many reasons...
http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/#sa-ns_mch...PublicRSS20-sa
http://www.infactcanada.ca/pdf/14-Risks-Small.pdf
http://www.vaccineriskawareness.com/...f-Formula-Milk
http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC2812877/

whatever choice you make be firm in it stop getting upset and feeling judged whenever someone questions your choice apparently you made it for a reason.
I have yet to see anyone make that claim. People have simply given reasons why they couldn't or wouldn't bf that to many are legitimate reasons. I don't see were people get off thinking they have the right to question those mothers for their choice since it is an acceptable substitute.
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