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Old 03-05-2013, 07:30 AM   #1
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Does anyone else not have a lot of help for after the baby comes?

People keep asking me about how long I am going to have help after this baby comes and are shocked that the only real help I will have is that DH is taking a week off of work, and then is going to do half days for about a week and half after that. I do not have any other family that is available to come help me. The only birth I had help other then from DH afterwards was my first.
Am I alone in this? Does everyone else have family lined up to help for weeks after they give birth?

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Old 03-05-2013, 07:36 AM   #2
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Re: Does anyone else not have a lot of help for after the baby comes?

I did have help from my mother. She came to stay with me for about 2 months. And DH took a month off. I am very fortunate, however, and I know that. But I also know many people who had no real help at all, including single mothers. You're not alone, mama. I hope you adjust to the new baby quickly and won't need much help. Good luck!
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Old 03-05-2013, 07:43 AM   #3
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Re: Does anyone else not have a lot of help for after the baby comes?

My DH can only take a week off and I am having twins We are trying to save a little now so that if they are born early, he can take time when I actually deliver and when they come home. With my first, I went into labor on friday morning, had DS 1 am on Saturday, left hospital at 9 am on Sunday and DH went back to work on Friday that week. He only gets one week paid vacation time and we need his paycheck.
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Old 03-05-2013, 07:50 AM   #4
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Re: Does anyone else not have a lot of help for after the baby comes?

With DS I had mom and step father for the day of delivery and that weekend. DH went back to work on that Monday (DS was born on a Friday) and didn't take off again till Thursday when DS came home, and Friday when we had to take him to the hospital for a billirubin. I think about a week later my Dad#2 came for a week and that was it.

This time my mom is planning on coming out for the whole week I am in the hospital to help with DS. After that we are not expecting ANYONE till September when my inlaws come out. I will hopefully give birth in July. DH will probably not be taking much time off at all because his current job doesn't like giving off time, and if he changes jobs then there is that too. I am not that worried. DS knows how to take care of mommy so I am not concern. Sadly DS has had to do it a lot in his little life. He is a great helper!

I should also mention that if I felt I NEEDED help, my Dad #2 (ex-step father) would be up here in a New York minute. He is like that and can get away from the insanity that is his trailer park (he owns it).
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Old 03-05-2013, 07:53 AM   #5
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Re: Does anyone else not have a lot of help for after the baby comes?

With my first, DH went back to work the day after I came home.

With my second, he went back to work the day after I came home but worked half days for a couple weeks. Loved that.

I don't know what we'll do this time, if I have another c-section he'll have to take some time off of work or maybe I'll have my mom come for a week or so. I actually prefer not to have anyone besides DH around for the first few weeks though.
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Old 03-05-2013, 07:53 AM   #6
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Re: Does anyone else not have a lot of help for after the baby comes?

With my first, DH went back to work the day after I came home.

With my second, he went back to work the day after I came home but worked half days for a couple weeks. Loved that.

I don't know what we'll do this time, if I have another c-section he'll have to take some time off of work or maybe I'll have my mom come for a week or so. I actually prefer not to have anyone besides DH around for the first few weeks though.
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Old 03-05-2013, 08:04 AM   #7
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Re: Does anyone else not have a lot of help for after the baby comes?

Had barely any help except for my husband after my first and I'm not expecting much help this time either. Everyone just wants to come and see the baby but what we really need is someone to come do laundry, cook, etc.
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Old 03-05-2013, 08:17 AM   #8
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Re: Does anyone else not have a lot of help for after the baby comes?

I had no help when DD was born. DH was in university so he stayed home a few days, here and there, but it was really just me and baby.
With DS1 my mom came to help with DD, with DS2 she came to help with the older 2. With DS3 FIL came to help with the older ones.

Really, that's what I find I need in the first week or 2 - someone to deal with the older kids (get them ready and out the door for school with lunches, make supper, etc), so that I can just focus on taking care of myself and the new baby. Honestly the last thing I need is someone to help out with the baby!
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Old 03-05-2013, 09:14 AM   #9
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Re: Does anyone else not have a lot of help for after the baby comes?

I had Colin on Sunday morning, was released from the hospital Monday morning and DH went back to work Tuesday morning. I didn't mind one bit! I didn't feel overwhelmed with the first and I didn't need any help. DH would fix dinner when he got home at 5 and would do some tidying up around the house but I still did laundry and took care of me & the baby during the day.

With this baby, Things will probably be the same. It'll be a little more challenging with a toddler in the mix but I can't imagine I will need much help other than DH doing dinner for a couple weeks till I am back in a routine.
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Old 03-05-2013, 09:14 AM   #10
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Re: Does anyone else not have a lot of help for after the baby comes?

My husband stayed home for a few weeks to help. Our baby was in nicu so we spent a lot of back and forth to the hospital with our 4 yr old. My MIL watched the 4yr old while I was in hospital (for a week.. placenta detached)
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