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Old 02-05-2013, 09:46 AM   #1
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Anyone solely responsible for keeping the budget for your family?

I was just hoping to find some encouragement or advice/tips. I don't know why but my dh refuses to help me set a budget. We've gone through Crown Financial (similar to Ramsey) and other financial conferences through our church so he knows the importance, but I think he is just such a worrier that he doesn't want to face the facts on paper. So that leaves me alone to pull it together and for the 12 years we've been married he's been the one to handle all bills and such (I know, that is at least half my fault). I admit that I'm just really bad with this kind of thing but I'm serious about getting this done.

So anyone else in a similar situation? Or maybe you just volunteer to handle all of the budgetting? Any advice on how to do it best alone? Or how to get dh on board?

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Old 02-05-2013, 09:57 AM   #2
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Re: Anyone solely responsible for keeping the budget for your family?

I am. I pay all the bills, do the budgets, all of it. It's not that DH is incapable, it's just easier to have one person in charge. He gets an allowance, that's how it works. You need to discuss it with him and agree on an amount that fits easily into the budget and isn't going to make him resentful. When he was working, DH got $20/week. Now he doesn't get anything, but I will grab a soda for him when I'm out. When he goes back to work, we will re-do it. $20 seemed to work really well. Everything else is budgeted to the last cent. If I budget $200 for electric and it's only $50, $150 goes to a debt or in savings. We're both actually really upset we didn't do this sooner. It would have meant a world of difference for us.
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Old 02-05-2013, 10:01 AM   #3
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Re: Anyone solely responsible for keeping the budget for your family?

I handle all the money and bills. He gets stressed out even if we are fine for the month. I couldn't let him pay bills or he would just pay the bills as they come in the door and we wouldn't have money when we need it. I give him about $40 a month for him and I repay him any gas he puts in the van.
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Old 02-05-2013, 10:03 AM   #4
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Re: Anyone solely responsible for keeping the budget for your family?

Love that idea! We've really worked to pay down debt the past year (in preparing for me to be a SAHM) but that is a great way to continue doing it.
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Old 02-05-2013, 10:04 AM   #5
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Re: Anyone solely responsible for keeping the budget for your family?

We do it together. Once a month we sit down and go over the bills, we have an excel spreadsheet with everything and when it's due, how much is going in and out etc. H pays the majority of the bills.
Having everything out in front of us really settled both our minds. Is there a reason you can't do it without him just to see how everything lays out and show him then?
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Old 02-05-2013, 10:06 AM   #6
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Re: Anyone solely responsible for keeping the budget for your family?

Quote:
Originally Posted by tjsacosta View Post
I handle all the money and bills. He gets stressed out even if we are fine for the month. I couldn't let him pay bills or he would just pay the bills as they come in the door and we wouldn't have money when we need it. I give him about $40 a month for him and I repay him any gas he puts in the van.
I know this is probably a silly question, but like I said, I have not been the one in the past handling all this! But how do you pay bills if not when they come? And it has never crossed my mind until reading that, but we currently have most things set up for automatic withdrawal. Is that a bad idea?
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Old 02-05-2013, 10:06 AM   #7
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Re: Anyone solely responsible for keeping the budget for your family?

Quote:
Originally Posted by tjsacosta View Post
I handle all the money and bills. He gets stressed out even if we are fine for the month. I couldn't let him pay bills or he would just pay the bills as they come in the door and we wouldn't have money when we need it. I give him about $40 a month for him and I repay him any gas he puts in the van.
I know this is probably a silly question, but like I said, I have not been the one in the past handling all this! But how do you pay bills if not when they come? And it has never crossed my mind until reading that, but we currently have most things set up for automatic withdrawal. Is that a bad idea?
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Old 02-05-2013, 10:08 AM   #8
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Re: Anyone solely responsible for keeping the budget for your family?

Similar here. I started doing the budget because I felt in the dark about where everything was going and that we werent getting ahead. I discovered Dave and begged him to do it with me but he fought me on it....thought we didnt have any money to put together a snowball. So I started doing it myself. We lived off his income and my part time job paid the sitter and the rest went to the snowball. I sat him down about 2 months ago and said Look Ive paid off 11k only on my part time wages so lets work together to see what we can do. That at least got him on board with Dave living but I still do the budget. I try to keep him in the loop but he still doesnt look at the budget and gets snippy when I tell him We dont have money for that. Its frustrating. Hugs!!
But Im glad I did it because we recently had a surprise pregnancy and I will be a sham God willing. That would not have been possible if we had all that extra debt.

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Old 02-05-2013, 10:09 AM   #9
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Re: Anyone solely responsible for keeping the budget for your family?

Quote:
Originally Posted by Tris View Post
We do it together. Once a month we sit down and go over the bills, we have an excel spreadsheet with everything and when it's due, how much is going in and out etc. H pays the majority of the bills.
Having everything out in front of us really settled both our minds. Is there a reason you can't do it without him just to see how everything lays out and show him then?
He's fine with me sitting down and laying it out, he just refuses to sit down together and do it. I suppose if I did it he would look at it once I was done. Maybe if I'm to do it all and then show him he would be more inspired to be involved with it.
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Old 02-05-2013, 10:11 AM   #10
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Re: Anyone solely responsible for keeping the budget for your family?

Quote:
Originally Posted by 2WolfeCubs View Post
I know this is probably a silly question, but like I said, I have not been the one in the past handling all this! But how do you pay bills if not when they come? And it has never crossed my mind until reading that, but we currently have most things set up for automatic withdrawal. Is that a bad idea?
The recurring things we have set up to pay automatically on the appropriate payday. Extra things like say a medical bill, we just cash flow it within the next month.....we havent been able to set up sinking funds for that kind of stuff yet. :/
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