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Old 02-06-2013, 02:58 PM   #1
lostmom
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Bi Polar, ADHD, ODD

I have a daughter who is 9. She has been diagnosed with Bi Polar, ADHD, ODD, and mood disorder. The last 4 years have been a wild roller coaster. She feels that she does not deserve to live, ask me to kill her, suspended from school 3 times in 2nd grade, kicks holes in walls, refuses to do school work at home and school, runs away from home, says that she is going to kill me, hits me, and gets very angry over nothing. I have been to several Dr's and I feel that more can be done and these Dr's are to quick to diagnosis and medicate these kids. She has been on Medication for the past year and it is getting changed almost every month or just add another one to the mix. I have taken her to several therapist and a few have told me that I have to be consistent and use time outs. When I ask them what I should do when she calls me names, kicks holes in the walls, or breaks what ever is in eyesight. I have heard I don't know or I should ignore it. If you don't have a child like this or live this life you really have no idea. I know how to parent, I have three other children. My oldest is 21, and I never had any problems with my other children. She has gotten better, the fits are not as long and she is able to stay in school. She still refuses to do the school work and she is a very bright girl. She will tell me the work is boring then say its to hard or its to much. I will not push her to do anything because it is just not worth the fight and seeing her like that. Does anyone have a child that has any of these issues? What have you done? What has helped? My heart is broke into a million pieces and I can't continue to watch her suffer. Something has to change in the mental health field.

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Old 02-08-2013, 03:31 PM   #2
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Re: Bi Polar, ADHD, ODD

Have you looked into the GAPS diet?
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Old 02-09-2013, 12:33 AM   #3
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Re: Bi Polar, ADHD, ODD

First of all I am so very sorry you are dealing with this, I know how hard it is. I do have a child with these issues and more than that I have these same issues myself. I'm bipolar, SPD, social anxiety, ODD and that is really just scratching the surface of the issues I could be diagnosed with if I was willing to really let people know just how crazy I am. I was originally diagnosed Bipolar at 15 but the symptoms were there for a very long time. I know I was not easy to deal with and though I was smart and had not problem with my school work I couldn't handle actually attending school if that makes any sense. I just couldn't get along with anyone. I have serious authority issues and would refuse to do work just because I was told to do it.

This brings me to my youngest son. He has been hard to handle since he was fairly young. My oldest is SN as well but he is ASD, SPD and Anxiety. He is a typically very compliant child (he was rough when he was tiny but he really does try to please). My youngest is just hard. He didn't sleep as an infant, he is never "off" now. He is defiant to an extreme. He has to have the last word, questions everything to death and will defy you to the point of putting himself in danger just to prove he is in control. He is also super impulsive. Right now he has a diagnosis of Bipolar and ADHD but honestly his doctor feels the ADHD is more likely just his mania and may disappear if we can ever get him properly medicated. His doctor doesn't like the ODD label, so he doesn't have it. I've had doctors apply it to me and others who also felt it was an improper label in most cases.

I do feel like we need to to improve in the mental health field but it really has come sooooo far even since I was a child. When I was a teen it was rare for some one under 18 to be diagnosed bipolar. Not that children were not bipolar, they just weren't diagnosed. At the time I was treated with prozac and when that made me crazy (because a bipolar person, child or adult should never be treated with an antidepressant) they added risperdal on top. These are things we know to never do now. Not only can you find doctors who will look at a child under 10 and seriously assess them for conditions like bipolar but they know about proper treatment. Unfortunately medication is the best treatment for bipolar. I know on ds diet is so popular to treat almost everything but when it comes to bipolar and especially when it comes to our children I have to stress the importance of finding a good med regimen. I can't tell you how much better my life is now that I am properly medicated. There was a time when I didn't have a future, I couldn't picture living through the next day or the day after that, I didn't make plans. Now I have plans, I can handle stress and manage my family. I will never be able to say "yes this is what normal feels like" but I think my life is pretty normal. That is what I am working towards for my son. It is hard for me, watching him struggle with this. Just managing him adds a great deal of stress to our lives and there are days that I don't know how to handle him but I try to remind my self that he doesn't want to be this way and he hates it as much as I do.

My recommendation is to find a doctor you like a trust to work with. If you don't like the psychiatrist or behavioral specialist you are working with find some one else. That relationship is incredibly important. Right now Tharen is not doing traditional therapy, I have found it works best to keep him very physically active. I know what makes him tic and what he loves the most in life. He lives for Roller Derby and I try to keep him as active with derby and skating as I can. I never use derby as a reward or threat, it is simply his outlet for energy. For discipline we try to use Love and Logic as much as possible. There was a time Tharen spent a good bit of time in his room because he was very explosive. Right now he is going through a very hyper phase so just as much physical activity as possible. He is sent to sit out when he can't control himself and is becoming a problem for other people (or animals) in our home. I home school and I will admit I completely changed my school program to fit his needs. There are rules but I am pretty open to change. I can't imagine fighting PS with him right now though I admit I fantasize about some one else having to deal with him from time to time.
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Old 02-09-2013, 11:58 PM   #4
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Re: Bi Polar, ADHD, ODD

I hardly ever post on here, but I've been thinking about your post since I read it. You are right. If you don't have a child like this, you just don't know what it is like and how heartbreaking and stressful it is. I could have written your post (and then some) a year and a half ago. My son was diagnosed with ADHD, ODD, attachment disorder, FASD and a few other "alphabet" diagnosis. He would have horrible rages and would scream and throw things. There was nothing in his room except his bed and a dresser because he was so destructive. No closet doors. The curtain was on a closet rod that I took down and put up each day because he would just tear regular curtain rods off the wall. I spent so much time trying to protect my other children from him. He climbed out his window. He locked me out of the house. I could go on & on about his behaviours, but I'm sure you already know. I had already parented 6 children before him and NOTHING I did worked with him. Time out might work for your average kid, but not for these kiddos. I took him to a psychologist who, after several evaluations, recommended a pediatric psychiatrist so that we could medicate him. This was when he was just 4. It sounds terrible, but we really had a hard time seeing his future holding anything other than some sort of institutionalization. I have so been where you are.

Now he is 6 years old and a completely different boy. The change in him has been astounding. People who haven't seen him in a while ask what in the world we have done to him. There are things you can do. We have done a combination of things - diet changes (we are dairy & gluten free, and eat no processed foods), probiotics and fish oil help, therapeutic parenting, but the thing that has had the biggest impact has been a neurological reorganization program. This is something that we stumbled on as we were desperately searching for something...anything...that might help him. It isn't really well known, but for us and for many people with kids like ours, the results are nothing short of phenomenal. It is NOT easy, and usually takes a couple of years to complete. But it makes permanent, lasting changes. Did I mention it is NOT easy? You can google "neuro reorg" and get more info. I'm not sure how much I can post on here about other websites, but if you'd like to PM me, I'd be happy to share resources with you and help you get connected with other families that are going through this as well. There IS hope & help!!
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Old 02-10-2013, 07:45 PM   #5
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Re: Bi Polar, ADHD, ODD

I didn't read the other responses but a good medication regimen is key. Diet really isn't the answer with severe mental illness, which is what it sounds like your child has. My 9 year old is stable on medication and he's schizophrenic, so it's possible. PM me if you'd like.
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Old 02-11-2013, 10:17 AM   #6
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Re: Bi Polar, ADHD, ODD

Where in Indiana are you located? My son is ODD. We have a great psychologist that I like located in Carmel--Dr. Christine Leidtke. She has really helped my son.
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Old 02-23-2013, 08:02 PM   #7
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There is a good book geared toward ADHD/ odd. It's called 10 days to a less defiant child. I loved it. It's worth a try.
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Old 02-28-2013, 04:39 PM   #8
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I am right there with you. My 5yo DD was just officially diagnosed today with ADHD, ODD, and Bi-Polar Disorder. We've been dealing with behavior issues since she was a toddler and we have a family history so it wasn't much of a surprise, though she is the first of my kids to exhibit behaviors so I am new to it as a parent. (I grew up around ADHD, Bi-Polar, & Schizophrenia as my sister and dad both had a combination of the disorders.)

I am not someone who likes medication, especially at her age. We already don't eat a lot of processed foods but I am going to be more strict about it and also try gluten/dairy free for her. We are starting behavior therapy next week. The psychiatrist did prescribe a very low dose of Clonidine (sp?) to give her before bed and I'm still researching it. Overall I'm just a bit overwhelmed but trying to take it 1 day at a time.

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