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Old 02-08-2013, 08:15 AM   #11
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Thank you for asking this question! Our first court date that we have known about is in April. We were on the fence on wether or not we should go! It is an hour away and didn't know if it was worth taking off of work. It sounds like it would be a good idea!

We know very little about what is going on with mom's plan! The only answer we seem to get is "mom is doing pretty good" Thank you for all the advice!
Definitely go then! Sounds like they aren't telling you much...it will come out in court.

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Old 02-08-2013, 12:40 PM   #12
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This morning Hope and I are off to the children's hospital. She is having a bronchoscope to look for anatomical reasons for her continued strider and croup like cough. They would like to do without sedation which will be impossible. She is very easily over stimulated and startled and then has a hard time self regulating once she is set off. Last time she scared the entire recover room team when coming off anesthesia. Wish us luck
Good luck!
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Old 02-08-2013, 12:42 PM   #13
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Also I will die if sworn in. omg I took an F in english because I refused to give a speech. What did you get asked? I would have such a hard time saying something bad about mom especially in front of her.
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Old 02-08-2013, 07:08 PM   #14
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Re: Do/Should you go to court?

Yes, I go. Here foster parents are welcome to attend. It isn't fun and is usually an all day affair but I think it is important to attend.
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Old 02-08-2013, 10:34 PM   #15
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Re: Do/Should you go to court?

We attend every.single.hearing. You find out a lot of stuff at court that you would otherwise not be told.

That being said, we never leave court not mad. Never. I usually leave court completely upset and livid. But I still go to every hearing. For me, it is a half day off work. I don't care. DH and I both still go.
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Old 02-10-2013, 08:58 AM   #16
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Re: Do/Should you go to court?

I've been to court three times. Once for my first foster baby and now twice for our current. All were review hearings. The next one coming up is a permanency hearing and should be more eventful since TPR should be filed on both parents if nothing new comes to light. The past three times were relatively uneventful, although the last time made us angry due to the judge's behavior (dh knows him and he acted unprofessionally all around calling my dh by his childhood nn throughout the hearing). Even without that, him obviously not bothering to read the history was very evident. We never went to a hearing with our others because they were either really short term or on track to go to relatives and I didn't see the point to rearrange my schedule to go.
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Old 02-10-2013, 08:35 PM   #17
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Re: Do/Should you go to court?

I'm an attorney and used to work in the dependency court and it really made a difference to the judge when the prospective adoptive parents were present at the hearings. I highly recommend attending the hearings, if possible.
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Old 02-12-2013, 01:36 PM   #18
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Re: Do/Should you go to court?

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Originally Posted by newmommy13 View Post
Also I will die if sworn in. omg I took an F in english because I refused to give a speech. What did you get asked? I would have such a hard time saying something bad about mom especially in front of her.
I don't like speaking in public, but loved getting on the stand, for some reason. I guess it was the only time I knew I was being "heard." When I would express concerns to social workers, they would just kind of nod. I knew DSS, the judge, GAL, everyone knew what my take on the situation was. I testified several times in DD's case and wrote letters to the judge.

To those wondering if they should go- It depends on whether you are remotely interested in adopting. If so, you need to show the court (and everyone else) that you are interested in what's going on with the child. And to the OP, when I would go, biomom felt like I was there supporting her (I was). I would hug her when I got there, ask her if she was nervous, etc. and hang out with her before court started. I was often the only person there who was at all supportive of her, so she appreciated having me there.
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Old 02-13-2013, 12:24 PM   #19
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Re: Do/Should you go to court?

We asked to go EVERY.TIME. and the sw told us not to bother. I have three littles at home, so I never ended up going, and I am sort of glad. The court system in this county is awful- for instance, they don't have a docket. So you could sit there for 8 hours before your case is heard. I don't have that kind of time, unfortunately. I was lucky in that our case was a shoe-in, and our social worker was very honest about how poorly the bios were doing. So we were never worried. I would have gone if I had felt that it would have helped in any way, but in our county it just isn't worth it.

Also, I was terrified of meeting the bios. They live in the next town over, and personally, I don't want them to recognize me or be able to ever identify my baby in public. Does that make sense? I just really wanted the anonimity.
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Old 02-13-2013, 06:22 PM   #20
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So court was awesome and not awesome. I learned fact instead of the maybes and possiblies that i was getting from the SW. Also met lots of moms family and bio dad who was there in chains and an orange jump suit to say literally 2 words. The outcome was not favorable for us but maybe that is for the best. Who knows. Im glad I went and will continue to go. Grandma went off on the judge which was scary/comical but sad since they are still considering her.
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