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Old 02-27-2014, 11:53 PM   #1
JaylasMommy
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Child Support and Custody

My ex wants to stay in our daughter's life. I am glad for this. He says he doesn't mind having to pay child support, in fact, he keeps asking when I am going to do the paperwork to do it.
Custody? I am not so sure how it all works. We've decided I will be fully responsible for decisions. I won't leave him in the dark about things, but in the end, I have the final say within reason. We will arrange visitations around his scheduling, for now. As soon as I start working again, it might have to change. Does this all sound right? Is there anything more needing to be added?

I keep delaying the process of filing for these things. It means things are over, right? I've held onto hope that he will change his mind. Filing the paperwork feels so final.

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Old 02-28-2014, 11:08 AM   #2
Nerissa
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Re: Child Support and Custody

I am sorry.

It sounds like a good arrangement. I know my brother and his x-wife have a very laid back custody arrangement that works for them. the didn't officially file for divorce until years after they separated. They basically made it up and workout holidays between the two of them. There is not set schedule set by a judge.
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Old 02-28-2014, 10:20 PM   #3
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It's ok to not file. BUT you should get it all in writing and notarized. If u have a divorce you can file it for free to ur existing file. If there is a court waiting to have your parenting plan u can submit the notarized plan as the final parenting plan. Pretty easy
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Old 08-23-2017, 06:48 AM   #4
meganhc
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Re: Child Support and Custody

For God's sake, file. Talk to a lawyer - both of you - and have something finalized by a court.
My husband went through a similar divorce, very amicable, agreed custody and visitation with no alimony/child support (he was a student) and his ex and I were good friends. Nothing legal, really.

Then the ex found a new man who wanted to play daddy and suddenly my husband was being accused of sexual abuse, was required to pay child support (on our $0 per annum income as two students), and wasn't allowed to see his girls for 3 months. We had little to no immediate legal recourse, and had to start a custody case against her that was incredibly unpleasant and stressful for all of us. His oldest daughter still hasn't quite recovered from the trauma of it, and it's been resolved for nearly 2 years.

Thankfully, things worked out for us. We have a cast-iron custody agreement that we and the ex agreed to, the she left the other man after he became abusive and the girls live with us and have a great relationship with their mom. However, having gone through a hellish 4-month period, my advice is to ALWAYS seek legal counsel, if you can at all afford it. It you can't, then make the custody paperwork as detailed as you can (who does the driving? Does either parent help the other with gas money? Where do you meet? When, exactly, does visitation take place - hour and day? Does this change over school vacations? Who pays the children's medical bills? School costs? Do you want a clause in there about when/if new SOs are introduced to the children? When is the non-custodial parents allowed to call the children? For how long?). This can always be altered should either of your situations change, and the court clerk should be able to advise you as to what paperwork you need to fill out to alter an existing custody agreement.

I guess the bottom line is that no matter how amicable a divorce is, and what promises you make to each other regarding custody, it can always change - and often does when new spouses are brought into the picture. Both of you need to make sure that your rights and interests are protected before anything changes.
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