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Old 02-14-2013, 12:07 PM   #21
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I think it's odd that you said in the one post that where you are from it's about sex, but then posted that it's often anonymous gifts from lots of senders? I am assuming you don't mean anonymous sex with lots of men LOL so it's conflicting to me.

I don't have a school age kid but I have still seen and noticed the cards. Honestly though I am ok with treats for holidays and occasions and even just for fun so I hope my sons future school isn't a total bust because of allergies and whatnot. I am sad that kids don't get all the fun thy used to. It's funny these parties survived 20, 30 years ago And obesity wasn't an issue, nor allergies, but now it is? I think the more things are prevented, the more the kids will try to sneak them or overdo it when the opportunity presents.

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Old 02-14-2013, 12:08 PM   #22
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Re: Valentine's Day vent

My mom loves to shop. I swear she's addicted to shopping. She used to always buy us little things on Valentine's Day and now I do it for DS too. I honestly think it only started seeping its way into our children's lives in America because it's another excuse to buy buy buy. America loves to buy. Materialism! Commercialism! Spending money we don't have! That's the American way.
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Old 02-14-2013, 12:09 PM   #23
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Re: Valentine's Day vent

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Yeah, that is my take on it too. You are South African too aren't you?
Sort of. I was born in SA, parents are both South African. We moved to the UK when I was 3. Moved to the US when I was 13, moved back to the UK at 18, back to the USA at 23. Two year stint in Malta when I was 5 . Hope to settle in the UK or Denmark (where my parents currently live) at some point in the future. No one really claims me, and when asked where I'm from, I just say "London".

Anyway, all that is to say, I've experienced St Valentine's day in several contexts, in several countries, and this is the first year I've noticed how oriented to children it is / has become.
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Old 02-14-2013, 12:12 PM   #24
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Re: Valentine's Day vent

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Originally Posted by Mom2Connor View Post
I think it's odd that you said in the one post that where you are from it's about sex, but then posted that it's often anonymous gifts from lots of senders? I am assuming you don't mean anonymous sex with lots of men LOL so it's conflicting to me.

I don't have a school age kid but I have still seen and noticed the cards. Honestly though I am ok with treats for holidays and occasions and even just for fun so I hope my sons future school isn't a total bust because of allergies and whatnot. I am sad that kids don't get all the fun thy used to. It's funny these parties survived 20, 30 years ago And obesity wasn't an issue, nor allergies, but now it is? I think the more things are prevented, the more the kids will try to sneak them or overdo it when the opportunity presents.
To be honest, I'm a bit confused at your confusion, haha. Surely you're not unfamiliar with the other aspects of St Valentine's day? Secret admirers? Romantic love? Sexual attraction and desire? Long stemmed red roses? Proposals? That's, I'm assuming, what vatblack's references to the sexual aspects of St Valentine's day are suggesting.
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Old 02-14-2013, 12:15 PM   #25
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Re: Valentine's Day vent

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Originally Posted by Mom2Connor View Post
I think it's odd that you said in the one post that where you are from it's about sex, but then posted that it's often anonymous gifts from lots of senders? I am assuming you don't mean anonymous sex with lots of men LOL so it's conflicting to me.

I don't have a school age kid but I have still seen and noticed the cards. Honestly though I am ok with treats for holidays and occasions and even just for fun so I hope my sons future school isn't a total bust because of allergies and whatnot. I am sad that kids don't get all the fun thy used to. It's funny these parties survived 20, 30 years ago And obesity wasn't an issue, nor allergies, but now it is? I think the more things are prevented, the more the kids will try to sneak them or overdo it when the opportunity presents.
It is anonymous for those on the dating scene. If it gets figured out, it might lead to sex or steady relationships or whatever - usually depending on the age of those involved and their view of love and romance. It is here that I can see it being for middle schoolers and teens. They are starting their dating 'careers'. So, I don't have anything against older kids celebrating the holiday as a love interest holiday.

It is about sex and the re-awakening of romance in established relationships and marriages. It is an excuse to get naughty with you SO. It is fun and light and just maybe x-rated. You see?
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Old 02-14-2013, 12:16 PM   #26
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Originally Posted by jam's mum

To be honest, I'm a bit confused at your confusion, haha. Surely you're not unfamiliar with the other aspects of St Valentine's day? Secret admirers? Romantic love? Sexual attraction and desire? Long stemmed red roses? Proposals? That's, I'm assuming, what vatblack's references to the sexual aspects of St Valentine's day are suggesting.
I think most of that is for the movies honestly. Men do it because they think society expects it. I don't consider it a sex holiday so I don't see why it's weird for kids to swap cute cards? It would be weird to do it in middle or high school as suggested, not to mention expensive given that most at that age have a bunch of different classes daily so hundreds of classmates.
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Old 02-14-2013, 12:22 PM   #27
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Re: Valentine's Day vent

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I think most of that is for the movies honestly. Men do it because they think society expects it. I don't consider it a sex holiday so I don't see why it's weird for kids to swap cute cards? It would be weird to do it in middle or high school as suggested, not to mention expensive given that most at that age have a bunch of different classes daily so hundreds of classmates
Right - the point is that pubescent and adolescent kids are at a point of sexual awakening, as it were. They get crushes on specific people. They fall in love. Not that they hand out erotic calling cards indiscriminately to their peers.

And while it may be for the movies, I'm sure you're also aware that every restaurant will be booked with couples tonight, every florist is selling bouquets of red and pink flowers, every lingerie shop has red and black lacy underwear front and centre. That's because Valentine's day is *traditionally* a celebration of romantic, not platonic, love. Even here.
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Old 02-14-2013, 12:24 PM   #28
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Re: Valentine's Day vent

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Sort of. I was born in SA, parents are both South African. We moved to the UK when I was 3. Moved to the US when I was 13, moved back to the UK at 18, back to the USA at 23. Two year stint in Malta when I was 5 . Hope to settle in the UK or Denmark (where my parents currently live) at some point in the future. No one really claims me, and when asked where I'm from, I just say "London".

Anyway, all that is to say, I've experienced St Valentine's day in several contexts, in several countries, and this is the first year I've noticed how oriented to children it is / has become.
Yea, I've lived in England, Israel en Thailand and had Valentine's day there too. Never occurred to me that it is a kid's holiday. Granted, I was never a mother in those countries so I guess I didn't notice it being a holiday geared towards kids if it was.

As an ESL teacher we'd get kids to make heart crafts and give to their parents. So, I do get a bit of the love being extended to familial love rather than romantic love. I always thought of it as ironic gesture (in the sense that married men forget so we'll let the kids remember their moms). It was never an exercise of kids giving kids cards.

Anyway, the more I read, the more I get that it is a custom here I will just have to get used to and accept. Obviously she'll have to take part in the group exchanges at school. However, I will explain to her that we don't celebrate it at home as a kid's holiday. As she gets older, I'll explain to her in better and more direct terms why I don't think it is a kid's holiday.
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Old 02-14-2013, 12:26 PM   #29
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Mom2Connor

I think most of that is for the movies honestly. Men do it because they think society expects it. I don't consider it a sex holiday so I don't see why it's weird for kids to swap cute cards? It would be weird to do it in middle or high school as suggested, not to mention expensive given that most at that age have a bunch of different classes daily so hundreds of classmates.
She's not saying middle and high schoolers bring a card for every classmate. She's saying that in middle or high school, kids may start using the holiday as an excuse to express their affections for a specific classmate. Just because you don't see it as a sex holiday doesn't mean she can't be used to viewing it that way.

I wonder if part of the confusion stems from the fact that in English, we have one word for love. In many other languages, there are separate words for different kinds of love. The love describing how you feel for your family, children or friends is not the same word as the one used for romantic love. So while everything in English is love, love, love for Valentine's Day, its gets applied to friendly love and family love. In other countries, they may be using a word that's defined more by romantic love. This is just conjecture, but it makes sense in my head.
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Old 02-14-2013, 12:27 PM   #30
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Re: Valentine's Day vent

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Valentines, in this area anyway, is a chance to show a little extra attention/appreication/admiration(love) to those that we love. The above is a very different way to view the holiday in my experience. However I wouldnt call it 'absurd' or 'strange'.....




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It is anonymous for those on the dating scene. If it gets figured out, it might lead to sex or steady relationships or whatever - usually depending on the age of those involved and their view of love and romance. It is here that I can see it being for middle schoolers and teens. They are starting their dating 'careers'. So, I don't have anything against older kids celebrating the holiday as a love interest holiday.

It is about sex and the re-awakening of romance in established relationships and marriages. It is an excuse to get naughty with you SO. It is fun and light and just maybe x-rated. You see?
I'm 40 been passing Valentines day cards out for oh I'd say 35 years ago in school up until I was in 6th grade and its always been a fun time with making our boxes and doing fun crafts, passing them out and thats all. Nothing harmful just fun.
Its weird to me to hear that others think of it in such a "sexual" way cuz I've never thought of Valentines day as that. The bolded really is surprising to me, middle schoolers? IDK to each his own its just upsetting to me when I see it not being celebrated anymore because of people not understanding it for what its always been just fun and that means no fun or memories for our kids anymore.
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