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Old 05-17-2007, 06:47 AM   #1
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Her SMART MOUTH is driving me NUTS!

DD is 2.5 will be 3 in Novemeber, this girl is BACK TALKing cONSTANTLy....

sometimes she yells at me and tells me "CUP!!! NOW" or tell me "NO MAM!" like when I try to get her down from the counter that she has climbed ontop of to get to cookies... or tells me " HUSh!" when I try to tell her stop doing something, or help me pick her toys up.. She basically tells me EVERYTHING i tell her as repremands..And she has been SNATCHING Toys away from her brother, pushing him down( hes only 9 months and a sitter, not a crawler or walker) and KICKING the dog, etc etc etc..

Im near the end of my rope, I have resorted to swatting her butt a couple times lately and I HATE the way it makes her and myself feel but it seems like its the ONLY thing that gets her attention at this point..

Is this just a terrible two phase??

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Old 05-17-2007, 07:08 AM   #2
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Re: Her SMART MOUTH is driving me NUTS!

My 3.5 yo is STILL doing this & it drives me nuts. I find that you have to not show emotion when dealing with it & it gets a bit better. DS likes to get a reaction from you & attention. He gets priveledges taken away & that's the best way we have found to handle it. Like his favorite toy or something is taken away & suddenly he is in a better behavior & his mouthing off is less.
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Old 05-17-2007, 07:18 AM   #3
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Re: Her SMART MOUTH is driving me NUTS!

My dd is a little over 3 and is doing it too, it is driving me

momma, I am hoping this is just a phase too!
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Old 05-17-2007, 07:28 AM   #4
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Re: Her SMART MOUTH is driving me NUTS!

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Originally Posted by CottonMamma View Post
He gets priveledges taken away & that's the best way we have found to handle it. Like his favorite toy or something is taken away & suddenly he is in a better behavior & his mouthing off is less.
Ive tried this and it doesnt even phase her
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Old 05-17-2007, 07:34 AM   #5
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Re: Her SMART MOUTH is driving me NUTS!

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Originally Posted by Ilikecloth View Post
Ive tried this and it doesnt even phase her
What is your form of discipline?

We started using a color method so that DS can visually see the choices that he is making. We have little discs that show if he is making a good choice (green) or a bad choice (red). I give him red & green discs throughout the day so he can visually see if he is making good or bad choices. It helps him to visualize things. I can actually ask him like if we are out in the store & he is starting to throw a fit or goes to pinch his 16 mo brother "Are you making a red or green choice?" & he will respond "Red choice" & I will ask "What happens when you make a red choice?" & he'll say "Time out" or "Toys taken away" or something like that... then I will ask "What choice do you want to make?" & he will say "Green choice" & things generally turn around for the better. Granted, it's not always the case, but it has gotten much better since we began this method. This is also the same thing that they do in his preschool which is wonderful since we started this at home when he was just over 2 & he started preschool at 3. It really helps. In preschool they were a necklace (the teachers) that is a big circle that has red on one side & green on the other so that they can show the kids the red & green. They also give out red & green circles for the kids to take home.

I think the visualization really helps the kids see. And it really does help me as well. It's easy as a busy mom to forget throughout the day the good things that DS has done. Sad to say, but it's easier to get caught up in how stressed out that I am w/all of the whining, hitting, etc that he's been doing & forget that he made some "green" choices by maybe putting his shoes away, saying please, or something like that. The red & green helps both of us.

Perhaps it's an option?
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Old 05-17-2007, 07:34 AM   #6
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Re: Her SMART MOUTH is driving me NUTS!

i would ignore the bad behavior and praise the good. or tell her you your ears are closed when she speaks like that and you will only listen she can speak nicely. when she is on the counter say "do you think you can get down on your or will mommy have to help you?" if she says "no" then just remove her from the counter and ignore her backtalk...i think she just wants to see your reaction! my 4 yr old will backtalk me sometimes and all i have to do is give him a look and he straightens up...usually but he's a little older and i can explain why talking like that is disrespectful. good luck i hope something works out for you!
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Old 05-17-2007, 07:35 AM   #7
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Re: Her SMART MOUTH is driving me NUTS!

well let the flaming begin.....
I use white vinegar for bad words and backtalking.
a very small measuring spoon but it works like a charm.
My girls know not to talk to me that way at all.
tudeness and disrespect are not tolerated here
hope it gets better for you soon!!!
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Old 05-17-2007, 07:37 AM   #8
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Re: Her SMART MOUTH is driving me NUTS!

Quote:
Originally Posted by CottonMamma View Post
What is your form of discipline?

We started using a color method so that DS can visually see the choices that he is making. We have little discs that show if he is making a good choice (green) or a bad choice (red). I give him red & green discs throughout the day so he can visually see if he is making good or bad choices. It helps him to visualize things. I can actually ask him like if we are out in the store & he is starting to throw a fit or goes to pinch his 16 mo brother "Are you making a red or green choice?" & he will respond "Red choice" & I will ask "What happens when you make a red choice?" & he'll say "Time out" or "Toys taken away" or something like that... then I will ask "What choice do you want to make?" & he will say "Green choice" & things generally turn around for the better. Granted, it's not always the case, but it has gotten much better since we began this method. This is also the same thing that they do in his preschool which is wonderful since we started this at home when he was just over 2 & he started preschool at 3. It really helps. In preschool they were a necklace (the teachers) that is a big circle that has red on one side & green on the other so that they can show the kids the red & green. They also give out red & green circles for the kids to take home.

I think the visualization really helps the kids see. And it really does help me as well. It's easy as a busy mom to forget throughout the day the good things that DS has done. Sad to say, but it's easier to get caught up in how stressed out that I am w/all of the whining, hitting, etc that he's been doing & forget that he made some "green" choices by maybe putting his shoes away, saying please, or something like that. The red & green helps both of us.

Perhaps it's an option?
that sounds cool! never heard of that
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Old 05-17-2007, 07:49 AM   #9
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Re: Her SMART MOUTH is driving me NUTS!

Quote:
Originally Posted by CottonMamma View Post
What is your form of discipline?

We started using a color method so that DS can visually see the choices that he is making. We have little discs that show if he is making a good choice (green) or a bad choice (red). I give him red & green discs throughout the day so he can visually see if he is making good or bad choices. It helps him to visualize things. I can actually ask him like if we are out in the store & he is starting to throw a fit or goes to pinch his 16 mo brother "Are you making a red or green choice?" & he will respond "Red choice" & I will ask "What happens when you make a red choice?" & he'll say "Time out" or "Toys taken away" or something like that... then I will ask "What choice do you want to make?" & he will say "Green choice" & things generally turn around for the better. Granted, it's not always the case, but it has gotten much better since we began this method. This is also the same thing that they do in his preschool which is wonderful since we started this at home when he was just over 2 & he started preschool at 3. It really helps. In preschool they were a necklace (the teachers) that is a big circle that has red on one side & green on the other so that they can show the kids the red & green. They also give out red & green circles for the kids to take home.

I think the visualization really helps the kids see. And it really does help me as well. It's easy as a busy mom to forget throughout the day the good things that DS has done. Sad to say, but it's easier to get caught up in how stressed out that I am w/all of the whining, hitting, etc that he's been doing & forget that he made some "green" choices by maybe putting his shoes away, saying please, or something like that. The red & green helps both of us.

Perhaps it's an option?

neat idea and I can see how he can visualize that better. I hope I remember that when ds is that old, he's 13 mo right now.

Isn't it funny how you can't wait till they walk, talk, whatever, then when they do you want them to STOP LOL!!!

I agree with this too:

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JackieLyn i would ignore the bad behavior and praise the good.
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Old 05-17-2007, 09:14 AM   #10
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Re: Her SMART MOUTH is driving me NUTS!

I know I'm somewhat radical with my discipline tactics.. and it's likely no one will agree, but here's how it works in our home..

When we ask/tell our kids not to do something or to do something - we do it in a loving respectful manner. Much like a pp suggested with "Can you get down off the counter yourself? Or should I help you?" Here's our method:
1. State the request
2. Restate the request
3. Offer help
4. Help
5. The bear hug - get down on the floor and hug your child from behind (applying gentle pressure, if needed, to keep them from running away) and speak calmly in their ear telling them you are helping them stop themselves and that you will let go when they can stop on their own.
More details here.

Honestly, in our home, we don't generally get to step 5. We don't have problems with back-talk (unless they're being silly, and we let them know if we want them to stop), and our children are well-behaved and respectful of others. If my kids are rude or disrespectful when they talk to me or ask me something, I simply say "I can't listen to you if you're going to talk to me that way." They either stomp off in a huff and come back when they're ready to be nice or they restate their request politely.

Children mimick our behavior, plain and simple. We all know this. So, for us, we've taken the approach of using that to our advantage and treating our children the way we want them to treat us. I often keep myself in check by simply reminding myself to treat my kids the same way I treat my husband - are they any less loved or valuable to me than he is?
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