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Old 02-15-2013, 02:48 PM   #11
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You guys start school so early in Ontario! We only just got all day Kindy but it starts the year they turn 5, not 4!
Anyway, they can't make you send your youngest to school this year. Send him next year. Tons of November boys are held back and you are not required to start 'school' until they turn 6 anyway.

Have you had your kids seen by a psychologist? Your dd in particular. That description of your 8yr old and the board game is unusual for a girl her age. It's the reaction I'd expect from a much younger child.

Before jumping to homeschooling i would really want to know what is going on at school and where the problems lie.

Another idea - what about just a different school ?
We have been working with the school ( long wait lists ) a behavioral ped as well as another community based behavioral agency.
All they have said is that they think some kind of LD that is looking similar to ADD but not ADD.
She is smart. She loves to read and devours chapter books. She struggles with written output and staying focused in the classroom.

These behavioral issues seem to worsen when she is stressed out. They started last year with a teacher who actually threw a pencil at a child's head. I think she enjoyed making dd flip out and pressed her buttons until she melted down on a regular basis. Used threats to tell me about DDs
" bad" behavior to scare her from telling me!

The only reason I found out was an off hand comment she made to my Mom about the teacher making fun of her telling her she would be sent to kindergarten for hiding under her desk.

Since then this has been her response to anything stressful. Other parents I spoke to said their child was never the same after have that teacher.

The school itself is one of the best in the area. Just at least 2 horrible teachers.

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Old 02-15-2013, 02:53 PM   #12
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Re: School is making home life miseable

slightly off topic but I am curious about the dairy issue? Is your son's behavior drastically different due specifically to dairy? I have never heard of that before.

My youngest too girls have dairy issues but I havent noticed significant different in behavior when they do occasionally get dairy items. I love to read over some websites, etc. if you have any recommendation on the link with dairy and behavior.

And I would also recommend looking into homeschooling! Its better to look into it and get a feel for the responsibilities involved than to wonder and wonder about it.
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Old 02-15-2013, 03:15 PM   #13
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Re: School is making home life miseable

On the dairy topic, something about milk made my DD1 act insane from about 1-4. I dont know if it was the sugars or what. We cut it out and switched to silk and she stopped having her freakouts. She can drink it now, although at most we do 4oz a day.
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Old 02-15-2013, 03:21 PM   #14
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slightly off topic but I am curious about the dairy issue? Is your son's behavior drastically different due specifically to dairy? I have never heard of that before.

My youngest too girls have dairy issues but I havent noticed significant different in behavior when they do occasionally get dairy items. I love to read over some websites, etc. if you have any recommendation on the link with dairy and behavior.

And I would also recommend looking into homeschooling! Its better to look into it and get a feel for the responsibilities involved than to wonder and wonder about it.
When my ds1 has dairy in smaller doses we notice mild sleep disturbances. In any larger amounts he has tantrums, aggression,crying , angry, night terrors where he screams in his sleep. The only real physical " symptom" is that his cheeks get red with large amounts. It happens within a couple hours of ingestion and takes several days to get better.

We didn't clearly see the behavior for what it was until we completely cut the dairy and thought wow who is this kid?!.

That's why it makes me do mad when he is given things like sour cream at my ils. He melted down and didn't get any sleep. We are just recovering completely. Funny the understand DN peanut allergy just fine SMH!

Some certain allergy doctors test by observing behavior. When I was little I was tested like this.
The dr put a drop of apple under my tongue and my mom said my coloring went from calm to me putting the crayon through the paper from coloring so hard. Turns out years later I now have a full blown allergy to apples. My lips swell like a collagen injection gone wrong and my throat and tongue itch.
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Old 02-15-2013, 04:39 PM   #15
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Re: School is making home life miseable

Homeschooling wouldn't have worked for us. My daughter was not a good worker, and fought everything I wanted her to do. (except sleep). I am too lax, and would have let her slide more and more. She would have been so far behind within a year. Neither she or I has the discipline necessary for homeschool.

But, we have a lot of charter schools nearby, and we can choose a school based on our child's strength and interests. Some Charter schools are horrible, some are great.

Do you have any other charter school choices in your area? Or is it just the one school?
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Old 02-16-2013, 10:04 AM   #16
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With the recent traumatic experiences I personally would homeschool her for at least a year to allow her to work through everything and regroup in a more stress free environment. That is of course if it's a feasible option for you and your family.

Maybe I'm biased as well since I am homeschooling my kids this year?

A huge part of our reasoning for homeschooling is that after a year in prek we were starting to see a lot of changes in ds behavior that we didn't like and didn't think we're going to lead him to healthy mindset/ behavior/ social perception/ etc.

Another thought, if you think your ds got labeled ADHD incorrectly, I would be very hesitant to allow them to test your dd for behavioral issues before she gets tested very thoroughly to see if there is anything physical going on with her.

My feelings are pretty much the same about your ds. They are so young still to be put through so much with school, and when kids have an accumulation of things that keep making it harder and harder on them to thrive in that environment I think the best thing to do is bring them home and let them build up a healthy sense of who they are again.

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Old 02-16-2013, 10:07 AM   #17
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Just wanted to add that the homeschooling forum here is great. You can ask any question, as many as you need, and the women here who hs are very, very sweet and helpful.

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Old 02-16-2013, 10:25 AM   #18
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Re: School is making home life miseable

OP I think you should talk to your Dr about having your DD tested for being on the autism spectrum. Autism by it's nature is "a lack of social skills". Obviously I'm not saying that she has it but she sounds remarkably like my LO who is on the spectrum with pdd-nos. His main symptoms are sensitivity, trouble with acadmics and social issues. He was diagnosed just before his 8th birthday since it wasn't obvious when he was younger. A LOT of kids get diagnosed late like him when their disorder is on the mild side. The reason I suggest looking into it is if she is on the spectrum then she/you will get tens of thousands of dollars in support! My son is homeschooled now specifically because we wanted to give him a chance to just learn without having to figure out the social things too - one thing at a time right BUT he has level 2 funding which is $18,500 per year. It would pay for a full time aid at school, but since we homeschool it pays for OT, speech, private tutoring, technology and behavioural support. He also gets $6000/yr for behaviour programs for the government (we are in BC). THEN they backdated our disability credit to his birth so we got tens of thousands in back taxes AND he gets a monthly amount added to our child tax benefit. I don't know about Ontario's exact programs but all the tax stuff was federal. Our son has changed SO MUCH since diagnosis. He is happy! He is learning how to make friends, how to interact in the world, how to cope with his own stress level. His behavioural support has seriously made a HUGE difference and it's only been a year! ETA - our son's issues are seriously SO MILD that most people don't know he is on the spectrum unless we tell them. It can be very subtle. Obviously once people get working with him they can see minor differences in him from other kids his age but is isn't some glaring huge life altering diagnosis - for our family diagnosis has been AMAZING. We couldn't get any help for him at all pre-diagnosis and now we have almost too much - 10 hours per WEEK of therapy!

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Old 02-16-2013, 05:13 PM   #19
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Re: School is making home life miseable

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Originally Posted by mommy24babes View Post
Since then this has been her response to anything stressful. Other parents I spoke to said their child was never the same after have that teacher.

The school itself is one of the best in the area. Just at least 2 horrible teachers.
A school is not a great school if it has two terrible teachers!
Schools that 'rank' well are typically schools where the average education and income of the parents is above average. That's nothing special.
A good school is one where the principal is aware of what is going on in the classes and deals with teachers like that and where the children are happy and eager to learn.
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