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Old 02-16-2013, 06:25 PM   #91
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Re: Is this punishment enough?

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Originally Posted by nicolemariep View Post
I may be the odd one out here, but I don't think it's excessive at all. Lying is about the most serious offense in our home, and we take it super seriously.

With that said, I feel the punishment is probably enough to make an impact on him.
I agree. Lying is unacceptable. I think your punishment is fine.

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Old 02-16-2013, 08:06 PM   #92
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Re: Is this punishment enough?

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I would have skipped the writing.

But I think lying means a lost in trust so no overnight is Fair.

I think he should lose next weeks party since he should not have received this weeks.
This was my thought. And I'd probably explain that a few privileges he had were going to be suspended until he could prove trustworthy...like sleepovers. I'd really work hard on honesty, being able to come to me with his mistakes and know I'd help him through them without anger as opposed to him lying to stay out of trouble, kwim? Kind of present it as 'Son, I'm so very sad and disheartened that you've been hiding/sneaking/lying lately. I really want to trust you, and to know that everything you say to me is the truth. How can we work on that? Being trustworthy means you are allowed to do more grown up things, but unfortunately the opposite is also true...I don't want that for you! So let's work on this issue, how can I help you be 100% honest?' and see what his response is. I'd try, as much as possible not to put him in a situation where he could lie, I'd 'tomato stake' (gently, not punitively) him for a while.
Another thought, is he forgetful or disorganized? My dd (almost 8) would never remember to bring something home, have me sign it, and bring it back to school the next day. She just wouldn't. If I tell her to go clean her room, I'm likely to find her an hour later not having done a thing, and not even remembering what it was she was supposed to do. Part of it is personality, part is attention issues (add) and part is age. She does not lie, in fact quite the opposite she is brutally honest lol, but I've had to curb my frustrations with her regarding following through and remembering stuff. She now had detailed checklists, posted on colorful paper, all over the house. One for her morning routine, one for leaving the house, one for evening routine, and one for clean room checklist. This has helped her tremendously. She knows what TO do, I don't have to nag. I do help her stay on task, by asking every 5-10 min where she is on her checklist, but that's all. Just a thought if he's forgetful/add at all, he may be lying to cover for his absent mindedness. In that case, definitely give him tools/help with that.
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Old 02-16-2013, 10:05 PM   #93
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Re: Is this punishment enough?

I wouldn't have done sentences, because I haven't done that type of punishment. But, I think the rest is completely fine. I think he should miss next week's vacation Friday as a result.

My 3rd grader forgot his planner once and he got marked down for it. They don't lose anything unless he forgets more than 3 times in a trimester. I didn't punish him for forgetting it. If he had signed my name, I would have punished him. Yes, he's allowed to forget things and not be punished. During the first month of school, he called me once to tell me he forgot to put his lunch in and asked me to bring it to school. I did. He hasn't forgotten since. So, yeah, he can forget. he just can't forge or lie.

I am surprised by the few who said they'd just tell him to let them know the next time he forged their name and lied to his teacher. I don't understand why the need to encourage forgery and lying.
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Old 02-17-2013, 12:48 AM   #94
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I don't know why people think sentences are harsh. They are stern & this is what I use as well. My son hates sentences and it works when we use them as he doesn't repeat the behaviors.
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Old 02-17-2013, 05:07 AM   #95
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I don't know why people think sentences are harsh. They are stern & this is what I use as well. My son hates sentences and it works when we use them as he doesn't repeat the behaviors.
I don't find it harsh however I feel it's counter productive in helping them enjoy writing. I have no problem with the op doing it. it isn't a punishment i would choose is all. I totally agree wyeth a harsh punishment for lieing though.
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Old 02-17-2013, 07:02 AM   #96
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Re: Is this punishment enough?

OP, just throwing this out there if you are interested, one thing that has helped my (now almost 11) DS1 has been to make him shadow me as a consequence for lying with the explanation that since I can't trust him to be honest, then I can't let him out of my sight. I've posted about it in other threads you may have read, so I don't want to over do it!

Obviously, it wouldn't be appropriate to do it for this offense as you have already dealt with it. I was just thinking for the general issue.

Sorry if I'm coming across as pushy.
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Old 02-17-2013, 07:10 AM   #97
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Re: Is this punishment enough?

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OP, just throwing this out there if you are interested, one thing that has helped my (now almost 11) DS1 has been to make him shadow me as a consequence for lying with the explanation that since I can't trust him to be honest, then I can't let him out of my sight. I've posted about it in other threads you may have read, so I don't want to over do it!

Obviously, it wouldn't be appropriate to do it for this offense as you have already dealt with it. I was just thinking for the general issue.

Sorry if I'm coming across as pushy.
I don't know if I could stand that. Ds talks so much. That might be more punishment for me. Like a slow death by question.

I appreciate all the words of encouragement. It's hard to be a parent sometimes. And honestly I don't like to punish him but I know I cannot let him get away with this type of behavior. The rest of our weekend has gone very smoothly. We went out to dinner as a family and played board games last night.

I am mildly amused that this has gone for multiple pages. I started a controversial thread.
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Old 02-17-2013, 08:29 AM   #98
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Originally Posted by mcpforever View Post
OP, just throwing this out there if you are interested, one thing that has helped my (now almost 11) DS1 has been to make him shadow me as a consequence for lying with the explanation that since I can't trust him to be honest, then I can't let him out of my sight. I've posted about it in other threads you may have read, so I don't want to over do it!

Obviously, it wouldn't be appropriate to do it for this offense as you have already dealt with it. I was just thinking for the general issue.

Sorry if I'm coming across as pushy.
That is more a punishment on me than my kids. They shadow me all day!
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Old 02-17-2013, 09:40 AM   #99
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Originally Posted by ulawolf

That is more a punishment on me than my kids. They shadow me all day!
Me too! My almost 7 year old DOES NOT STOP TALKING!!! Lol. Ever.
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Old 02-17-2013, 11:36 AM   #100
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Re: Is this punishment enough?

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I don't find it harsh however I feel it's counter productive in helping them enjoy writing. I have no problem with the op doing it. it isn't a punishment i would choose is all. I totally agree wyeth a harsh punishment for lieing though.
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