Reply Hey Mom! Learn more about the Gerber Life Insurance Grow-Up Plan!
 
Thread Tools Display Modes
Old 02-17-2013, 11:51 AM   #101
katiebird
Registered Users
seller
 
Join Date: Mar 2010
Posts: 134
My Mood:
Re: Is this punishment enough?

I would have HIM tell his teacher, not you.

Advertisement

katiebird is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 02-17-2013, 12:21 PM   #102
eljube112's Avatar
eljube112
Registered Users
seller
 
Join Date: Feb 2008
Location: Ontario, CANADA
Posts: 4,195
My Mood:
Re: Is this punishment enough?

Quote:
Originally Posted by Tris View Post
Have you ever forgotten something as an adult?
Obviously lying needs to be addressed, and its just an awful stage that they work through eventually, but the punishment I think would be most effective to prove the point would be to go with him before class or after and have him explain to his teacher, in front of you, what he did. He'll lose his points and not get the party, and that seems like a good consequence for lying.
I wouldn't punish him for forgetting something, it would be hypocritical. My mom always trusted me to sign stuff if I needed too, and I was always honest with her about what I was signing.
How do you think that people learn to be responsible and remember things? they have to be TAUGHT as children. if they continually forget, then they need to be taught skills that help them remember. So while, yes, I certainly DO forget things as an adult, those things come with consequences too. It's prudent to teach a child that ALL actions have consequences, because later in life, while I certainly don't have to write lines or miss a sleepover, the concept is the same.

OP your punishment was not excessive at all. Age appropriate and hopefully is enough to get the point across.
__________________
Elaine, SAHM to E (11/07), J (8/09), A (2/11), G (11/12)

We're expecting #5! "Quinn" coming July 2014!

eljube112 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 02-17-2013, 04:45 PM   #103
z2akids's Avatar
z2akids
Registered Users
seller
 
Join Date: Apr 2006
Location: Ohio
Posts: 6,418
Re: Is this punishment enough?

The school has a consequence for forgetfulness - the loss of the points. OP on the other hand is punishing the lying and forgery. I would NEVER teach my child that it is okay to forge my name. If the mistake and forgetfulness was my fault, then I would email the teacher and explain what happened - not have a 9 year old forge my name.

OP, writing lines is not a punishment we have used, but I don't find it or losing a sleepover to be harsh. Lying and forgery are serious crimes in my home and would warrant a serious consequence on par with what you have given.

We are currently having issues at my children's school because some parents are unhappy with the strict consequences being met out on the students. IMO life is not going to go easy on them or going to coddle them. I believe we do a disservice to our children when we mediate the consequences and allow them to get away with doing things wrong. Teach them while they are young to take ownership of their actions and to never take the credit or blame for something they didn't do. Setting expectations low will never help them, nor will rescuing them from responsibility. Set the bar high and keep it there. They may not always reach it. But, I guarantee they will reach higher than if we set it low and help them over it.
__________________
Jennifer

Last edited by z2akids; 02-17-2013 at 04:46 PM.
z2akids is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 02-17-2013, 04:54 PM   #104
hilaryisinked's Avatar
hilaryisinked
Registered Users
seller
seller
 
Join Date: Jan 2010
Location: Mobile, AL
Posts: 26,215
Not excessive IMO. I think I'd have skipped the writing lines & had the child tell talk to the teacher instead of you. Maybe write her a note instead of lines. But I agree with those who think it was a suitable punishment for lying & forgery.

Sent from my iPhone using DS Forum
__________________
Hilary, head over heels wifey of a Coastie
Mama of Aubrey & Delaney
.
hilaryisinked is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 02-17-2013, 05:04 PM   #105
sojomisa's Avatar
sojomisa
Registered
seller
 
Join Date: Jul 2011
Location: MD
Posts: 5,464
Re: Is this punishment enough?

My child would have lost the sleepover for signing my name. I would also ask that he lose next weeks binder reward for cheating to get the last one. I would not have him write out sentences just because I don't think they would be an effective tool for my boy.

I remember writing sentences in school. I don't remember why I ever had to write them but I remember how I did it; I'd write the first word x number of times then the next word, then the next. It wasn't really a deterrent.

ETA: It's hard to say if it was "enough" punishment or "too harsh" because I don't know your child. If you feel like he gets why he was punished and will learn from it then it was enough. If he continues to make the same mistakes I might then consider other techniques. I can always tell if I've gone/am going too far as my kids eyes will glass over. I can then tell I've used too many words or have piled on too much, and whatever I'm trying to convey would potential get lost on them.
__________________
Kim, a doing what works for us mama to S (06/01), J (03/03), M (12/07) and S (01/11)

Life is not about waiting for the storm to pass. It's about learning to dance in the rain. - Vivian Greene

Last edited by sojomisa; 02-17-2013 at 05:10 PM.
sojomisa is online now   Reply With Quote
Old 02-17-2013, 07:57 PM   #106
cdeweese
Registered Users
Formerly: New cloth lover
seller
seller
 
Join Date: Jan 2012
Location: Texas
Posts: 1,396
My Mood:
Re: Is this punishment enough?

Quote:
Originally Posted by Tris View Post
I was pointing out its a lousy analogy. I've never met someone who has never forgotten a thing. And if you do, sometimes there is a consequence, sometimes there isn't. Being super harsh isn't any more right than not, it's all about how you decide to parent.
He wasn't being punished for forgetting anything, losing the points at school is the consequence of that. And to give him permission to forge the signature when he forgets to bring his planner home teaches him to lie to his teacher. How is that ok? He is already having trouble with being honest. He was being punished for his dishonesty and forging his mother's signature without her knowledge or consent. He knew what he was doing and needs to know it's not ok. It sounds like the OP has spoken to him about it and had to correct this behavior before. When do you draw the line if not when it has become a problem? He's not only lying to his mother, but now to his teacher.
__________________
Cindy wife to B Mommy to C 3/10 S 3/11 K 4/13 due 10/15
cdeweese is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 02-18-2013, 08:28 AM   #107
Joyful Tie Dyes
Banned for reasons unrelated to transactions
www.joyfultiedyes.com
 
Join Date: Apr 2008
Location: Sunny SC
Posts: 13,547
My Mood:
Re: Is this punishment enough?

three punishments for one crime seems excessive to me. And writing sentences never deterred me (or anyone else I know) from anything. It's not at all a logical consequence.

Last edited by Joyful Tie Dyes; 02-18-2013 at 08:29 AM.
Joyful Tie Dyes is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 02-18-2013, 08:43 AM   #108
pinktoes
Registered Users
seller
seller
 
Join Date: Mar 2011
Posts: 1,508
My Mood:
Re: Is this punishment enough?

on a side note, writing lines can often make a kid learn to hate writing. FYI
pinktoes is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 02-18-2013, 11:47 AM   #109
Newton
Registered Users
 
Join Date: Aug 2008
Location: Ontario, Canada
Posts: 2,287
Re: Is this punishment enough?

I have not read all the replies, the thing I would add is a conversation about trust, how easy it is to break and how hard it is to rebuild. And forging your initials is a significant dent into trust. Would he understand if you talked about mistakes by not doing something/forgetting vs actively doing something wrong? (eg he would not have been I. Trouble for forgetting the planner b/c everyone makes mistakes but by signing your initials he was actively doing wrong
__________________
Mommy to my big girl L 10/15/08
Newton is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 02-18-2013, 11:48 AM   #110
Newton
Registered Users
 
Join Date: Aug 2008
Location: Ontario, Canada
Posts: 2,287
Re: Is this punishment enough?

Forgot to add I think he should lose 2 points at school for forgetting the book plus additional points for siting your name, two separate things
__________________
Mommy to my big girl L 10/15/08
Newton is offline   Reply With Quote
Reply

Thread Tools
Display Modes

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off

Forum Jump

Copyright 2005 - 2014 Escalate Media. All Rights Reserved.