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Old 02-17-2013, 12:31 PM   #1
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Almost 5 year old & sharing

I've got a nearly 5 yo DS, and a nearly 2 yo dd. I recently started watching another little boy who is almost 4. We watch him 1-3 days a week for about 8 hours each time.

My DS is super spunky and a lot of fun, but has a really difficult time sharing. The other little boy is generally more passive and "whiney" (I wish I could find a better word for it, that sounds rude to me to call someone else's kid whiney). They fight over toys every.single.day.

I know it's a character issue he has to work through (and its a developmental thing), and kind of a given, and something i need to teach/walk them through and discipline as necessary. I feel pretty confident/comfortable with my approach to handling it in a case by case basis. But, the stress from their fighting seems to be making my son act out with serious back talk, sassiness, and general disrespect toward me. My son has been telling me that he hates this other kid and doesn't want him to come over anymore.

It's a temporary situation - I'm only watching the boy until his mom has another baby in May, then she has other plans for childcare.

Any tips on how to get my kiddo through the next several weeks? I'd love some tips for how to encourage them to share and get along, and how to help my son grow in his own need to share and be gracious (which is a tall order for a 5 yo), while also respecting his needs.

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Old 02-17-2013, 12:48 PM   #2
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Re: Almost 5 year old & sharing

Sharing his mom with a strange kid is probably harder than sharing toys. Quality time should help the disrespect, along with some constant reassurance that the new kid isnt taking his place
To work on the toys, I'd let him pick out a handful he doesn't have to share, period. And then let him know the rest are community toys and if he can't share them, he can't play with them.
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Old 02-17-2013, 01:10 PM   #3
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Re: Almost 5 year old & sharing

Does your ds know this is a temporary thing? Maybe talking to him about how hard it can be to share your toys, your home, your mom, your space, etc, but that wont be much longer that this boy is here to play with him, so even though its hard, he might as well try to enjoy having a friend his own age while he's there.

Maybe allowing him to go off on his own if he needs to will help? Have somewhere, like your room, where he can go if he needs to be alone for a few minutes and regroup.
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Old 02-17-2013, 02:30 PM   #4
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I'd probably say he's a guest in our house, and he deserves our kindness. Perhaps discuss positive points at dinner and model kindness. Definitely say that while it's temporary this little boy will always be welcome and good manners is a must. You never know, you might end up with him again from time to time. I wouldn't employ bribes or anything like that because while the situation is temporary the lesson needs to last.
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