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Old 02-19-2013, 12:19 PM   #11
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Re: Anxiety/Not Trust Babysitters/Strangers with your Kids?

Yes and no. I use the gym daycare, but it was after I spent time in there with my kids watching how the staff interacts with the kids. (They're fabulous btw and my kids love going there.) I did not leave them there as infants - both were at least 18 months before we started using it.

I do not use care.com or sittercity.com

I don't use neighborhood teenagers (I just don't know them.) but I do use my BFF's daughter who is 16. I've known her for eleven years.

I do have a few mom friends that I trust. Their parenting style is similar to mine.

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Old 02-19-2013, 12:28 PM   #12
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Re: Anxiety/Not Trust Babysitters/Strangers with your Kids?

My mom, MIL, and a few friends are the only people that have watched our kids so far... it's hard to say for certain at this point, but I just don't see hiring a babysitter until our kids are older, at least kindergarten age, probably more. I remember having some crappy babysitters as a kid, nothing horrifying but still an experience I'd rather they didn't have, if possible.
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Old 02-19-2013, 12:42 PM   #13
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Re: Anxiety/Not Trust Babysitters/Strangers with your Kids?

To be fair, you're not exactly getting a scientific poll here! You asked if anyone else felt like you and so you got 6 people who said they do.

The vast majority of people use childcare of some kind whether it is daycare or a babysitter.

You can feel whatever you like and that is totally fine because it's your family so you can do whatever works for you! You don't need to change your feelings just because someone else sitting in front of their computer in another country (ie:me) has no problem using teenagers to babysit!

I do use neighbourhood babysitters. The girls are usually around 15-16 and I've met their mothers. I didn't start using teenagers until recently as my youngest is a handful for anyone.
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Old 02-19-2013, 12:54 PM   #14
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Using a daycare is very different. Especially if it's a daycare with more than one caregiver. Much less likely to be molested or really abused given that other adults are present as well. Vs a teenager alone in your home with one child.

I would probably be ok with a teen I knew really well. But I took the thread to mean a stranger (as the title said lol).
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Old 02-19-2013, 01:17 PM   #15
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Re: Anxiety/Not Trust Babysitters/Strangers with your Kids?

If I was considering a 17 year old it woudl depend on a few things

Did this person come recomended by a trusted friend-- if so then I would probably have her over once while I was home and then be fine with it.

I teenager off craigslist, probably not.

A neighborhood kid sure.

FWIW--I was a great baby sitter and I started at age 13 with my neighbor. I was booked almost every Friday and Saturday night from about age 13 till 16 and then even after that till I graduated high school. I grew up in a small town and word travles fast on good babysitters.
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Old 02-19-2013, 01:41 PM   #16
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Re: Anxiety/Not Trust Babysitters/Strangers with your Kids?

well, I don't trust anyone, period, with my child. But we have left DD with a very good nanny on two occasions and with a family member on 1 occasion. And now we have to have another occasion come up because she can't come and labor with me when I start having this baby. There isn't a choice. And family isn't an option as they are 2000+ miles away.

that being said.. my child is 2. She cannot tell me if someone was mean to her. She cannot tattle.

Your child is 5. So, I would hesitate less. Especially with someone that you've chosen carefully. A 5yo doesn't know how to keep secrets and is generally a pretty good tattle tale. I would just make sure that your child knows that they are never to keep a secret from mom and dad and ask them lots of questions about their day after the sitter has gone home.
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Old 02-19-2013, 01:59 PM   #17
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Re: Anxiety/Not Trust Babysitters/Strangers with your Kids?

I wasn't going to answer, b/c you asked if anyone agreed with you. Like a PP said, I expect you're getting a very skewed sample.

We've hired college students as sitters since dd was 3 months old. We advertise through whichever college we're using (we've moved a bit), interview several candidates, and follow up with references. When dd was a baby, it was more like a mother's helper; I was at home working while dd and the sitter was there. But once she was toddler age, I always let the sitters take her for walks, to the park, etc. We've had absolutely lovely experiences with our sitters. Since we've moved a few times, dd still talks about missing a couple of them and wishing she could see one.

Our current sitter is a former student teacher from dd's kindergarten class. To say dd loves her would be an understatement. Dd gets SO excited when she knows that her sitter is coming. I think the relationship has really enriched her life.

I should that dd has severe, life-threatening food allergies. We've taken the time to train all of our sitters in dealing with her issues (and we try to hire students who are studying things like pediatrics, nursing, teaching, etc., so that we know they will be sensitive to these issues). We've found every sitter we hired to be extremely conscientious--following directions, asking the right questions, and so on. Dd has never had an allergic reaction with one of them.

I certainly wouldn't hire anyone off of Craigslist, but we've had absolutely no problems going through local colleges or universities. In the circles we travel in, most families have two parents working, and nannies and sitters are quite common. I know many of the nannies who work for the families of kids in dd's class; I see them at the park and at school, and I observe how they deal with the kids. I have found them, almost uniformly, to be lovely, responsible caregivers who genuinely care for the children they babysit.
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Old 02-19-2013, 02:05 PM   #18
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Re: Anxiety/Not Trust Babysitters/Strangers with your Kids?

Quote:
Originally Posted by badmisterkitty View Post
I was a horrible babysitter as a youngster. Not abusive or anything, just didn't know what I was doing and hated it with a passion. So that's what I think about when I think about getting a real babysitter. We are fortunate to have family close by and willing to help...
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Old 02-19-2013, 08:13 PM   #19
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Re: Anxiety/Not Trust Babysitters/Strangers with your Kids?

I think you just need to keep looking for someone that you do trust. if you have trust issues, the first thing you should do is disregard inexperienced and young sitters....because they dont have the skills that will help you learn to trust them. look for other mom friends that would trade babysitting, a reliable daycare provider or center that offers evening drop in care (they will have good references or licensing), or an experienced college age student or mom that will babysit for you. there are other options besides a random highschooler that is new to the area and has only one reference....no wonder you dont trust her. most people wouldnt. OR you can do a few runs with her as a mommys helper at your home. she watches the kids while you do chores or whatever and you can get to know her. pay her for her time but its worth the investment if you need to gain some trust to make it work in the future.
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