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Old 02-20-2013, 02:20 PM   #11
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Re: Toddler Tantrums - need help :(

some of you guys must have some amazing 26month olds.

There's no way in the world that my child would have understood 'you can't come back if you tantrum now' at that age. She's almost 29 months and she still wouldn't get that.

and I give her a lot of credit. I tell her things like 'girls who tantrum don't get "__" (whatever)' because I figure someday she'll get it.

that's why I just go with the sweet and short, simple options. 'you do it or mom does it' and giving her time to see me and realize that it'll be time to leave soon instead of just arriving and swooping in and taking her abruptly (not saying you do that).

but anyways.. just some thoughts.

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Old 02-20-2013, 02:34 PM   #12
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Quote:
Originally Posted by EmilytheStrange
some of you guys must have some amazing 26month olds.

There's no way in the world that my child would have understood 'you can't come back if you tantrum now' at that age. She's almost 29 months and she still wouldn't get that.

and I give her a lot of credit. I tell her things like 'girls who tantrum don't get "__" (whatever)' because I figure someday she'll get it.

that's why I just go with the sweet and short, simple options. 'you do it or mom does it' and giving her time to see me and realize that it'll be time to leave soon instead of just arriving and swooping in and taking her abruptly (not saying you do that).

but anyways.. just some thoughts.
My thoughts as well. I would skip the shoe change, I totally get that it's cold but even socks would be fine for a walk to the car. Use a blanket or carseat poncho instead of a jacket if the jacket is a real fight. Then pick her up and walk out tantrum or not.

Our DS only goes to daycare (a hone center of a woman we know) occasionally and I swear he would live there if he could. He used to throw HUGE fits when we would show up. We finally just had to start saying in a happy voice things like, "I know you are having fun, but it's time to go home now. We will come play again soon." eventually, he got better. He is now 2 1/2 and this started at about 2ish. We didn't use daycare ever before that.
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Old 02-20-2013, 02:36 PM   #13
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Re: Toddler Tantrums - need help :(

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some of you guys must have some amazing 26month olds.

There's no way in the world that my child would have understood 'you can't come back if you tantrum now' at that age. She's almost 29 months and she still wouldn't get that.

and I give her a lot of credit. I tell her things like 'girls who tantrum don't get "__" (whatever)' because I figure someday she'll get it.

that's why I just go with the sweet and short, simple options. 'you do it or mom does it' and giving her time to see me and realize that it'll be time to leave soon instead of just arriving and swooping in and taking her abruptly (not saying you do that).

but anyways.. just some thoughts.
agree..I don't believe in threats like "you can't come back"

Choices choices choices. And choices that you can both live with.
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Old 02-20-2013, 03:04 PM   #14
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Originally Posted by EmilytheStrange View Post
some of you guys must have some amazing 26month olds.

There's no way in the world that my child would have understood 'you can't come back if you tantrum now' at that age. She's almost 29 months and she still wouldn't get that.

and I give her a lot of credit. I tell her things like 'girls who tantrum don't get "__" (whatever)' because I figure someday she'll get it.

that's why I just go with the sweet and short, simple options. 'you do it or mom does it' and giving her time to see me and realize that it'll be time to leave soon instead of just arriving and swooping in and taking her abruptly (not saying you do that).

but anyways.. just some thoughts.
I'm with you, although I'm sure some kids do understand it, it's not something I would generally expect developmentally. Also unless I misread it sounded like daycare was non optional as both parents work, so you can't really stop sending her.
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Old 02-20-2013, 05:19 PM   #15
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When we get into situations like that where my son doesn't want to leave. I empathize with him. Most of the time he just wants his feelings heard and knowledged and he'll peacefully leave.
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Old 02-21-2013, 06:24 AM   #16
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Ok update 1: a couple of days we were doing better then my husband calls this morning:
She is obsessed with socks (his or mine, the long ones that go to the knee - we know this fact from before too). Last night she found a pair and demanded to get them on. They go all the way up like stockings for her. Satisfied she fell asleep. This morning he took them off to get dressed and she started a 1hr long scream fest. No breakfast, no shoes, no hat, no jacket, scream scream scream. He ignored it and attempted to give her choices but no luck. She only subsided by the time they made it to daycare - and he had to walk to it in the cold (got her mostly dressed by then).

She has this big person (used to be obsessed about her socks so we just left them on) socks now but she can't wear them all the time???

Ugghhh now she's hungry and at daycare - they do give them a snack but not a full breakfast.

We'll see how the pick up goes...
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Old 02-21-2013, 11:33 AM   #17
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Some of it's the age mama, just prime tantrum time. My DD1 was relatively easy going at this age, DD2 is a stubborn tantrum throwing 2 year old. Whatever you decide to do, consistency is key. Good luck!! I feel your pain!
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Old 02-21-2013, 01:26 PM   #18
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Re: Toddler Tantrums - need help :(

why can't she wear big person socks all the time?

I'd just buy her some and let it go.

I have a friend who's child has been wearing the same snowboots for about a year now (including summer time) and he's been wearing the same capeshirt for almost as long. She just bought 3 of them so she can keep him in a clean one.

not a battle worth fighting. I'd just give her adult socks that go up to her thighs.

ETA: the little boy mentioned above..... he is 2.
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Old 02-21-2013, 01:33 PM   #19
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Re: Toddler Tantrums - need help :(

yep not a battle worth fighting over...get her her own pair of socks and let her wear them!
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Old 02-21-2013, 01:39 PM   #20
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Re: Toddler Tantrums - need help :(

Any time I can, I let my DD kinda finish out what she's playing with/working on when I come to pick her up. I get her stuff packed up or I sit down and play with her. I try to respect that in her mind, what she's doing is important and that I wouldn't appreciate someone walking into a room and declaring I have to be done and leave.

I realize that's not an option for everyone's schedules but it works for us more often than not.
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