Diaper Swappers

Fashionably Green Baby · 02-21-2013, 08:46 PM

I think I would have to ask him to leave for the night if he I just going to harass you. All will work out. It will be ok

**thealmightyme** · 02-21-2013, 08:55 PM

What a jerky thing to say. Especially since he keeps bringing it up.

canadianbakers · 02-21-2013, 08:59 PM

many

mama.
I can't imagine hearing that from my DH. It would break my heart.
If he continues to make comments about it, I would have to ask him to leave for a while until he's ready to support you in this.
If I ever had to choose between my babies and my DH, as much as I love him, I would choose my babies. This baby is here for a reason, and it's not so he can talk you into aborting it.

Mommy2TwoGirls · 02-21-2013, 09:32 PM

I don't even know how far along I am. I just recently got AF back - I nursed my youngest until 13mo old... she is now 15mo old... off memory I THINK my last cycle was the last week of December, first couple days of Jan. Could be wrong. So many other things have been going on in my life I haven't even been paying no mind to it until a few people (jokingly) suggested I was pregnant because of my 'ailments'.

mamatoclaire · 02-21-2013, 09:35 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by canadianbakers

many

mama.
I can't imagine hearing that from my DH. It would break my heart.
If he continues to make comments about it, I would have to ask him to leave for a while until he's ready to support you in this.
If I ever had to choose between my babies and my DH, as much as I love him, I would choose my babies. This baby is here for a reason, and it's not so he can talk you into aborting it.

I agree. I can't imagine how you're feeling. I would try to tell him or write to him, very simply and straightforward, that you cannot and will not consider an abortion. If he continues bringing it up and pressuring I would ask him to leave, or leave myself until he can be supportive.

Sent from my iPhone using DS Forum

momof3boys1girl · 02-21-2013, 11:28 PM

um wow!! Your dh! Im sorry he doing this to you. I cant imagine my dh not being anything but happy for another baby no matter the situation

Im sure he will come around. I don't see you ever saying he was right and you should have aborted no matter what happens!

lisathib123 · 02-22-2013, 05:04 AM

I'm praying for you!! Is he the sole provider? I'm not taking his side. I'm just trying to see this from his side. He might be so stressed and scared that he can't provide that he's not thinking straight. Maybe try and find ways to assure him this will be fine. My last baby had me thinking (obsessing a little) crazy things like abortion, suicide..... And I'm a devout sign holding Catholic!!!! The fear gets to the best of us. PRAY!!!

Mommy2TwoGirls · 02-22-2013, 05:36 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by lisathib123

I'm praying for you!! Is he the sole provider? I'm not taking his side. I'm just trying to see this from his side. He might be so stressed and scared that he can't provide that he's not thinking straight. Maybe try and find ways to assure him this will be fine. My last baby had me thinking (obsessing a little) crazy things like abortion, suicide..... And I'm a devout sign holding Catholic!!!! The fear gets to the best of us. PRAY!!!

He is the sole provider. He says he has thought this through and having "it" is not "logical". I guess you'd also have to understand him - one of major flaws in our relationship is he is very materialistic and doesn't want to loose anything because of this "situation/bump". We are not even married because I refuse a prenup... I believe the whole point of a marriage is to become 'one' not say "okay, we are one except this, and this and this. When our time is up you can have this...." to me its like presigning a divorce settlement. I may be wrong, but I'm not worrying about his crap - that's not what I'm here for. He seems to think he has a whole lot - but in reality he is average. We are sinking right now, so I know he is stressing - but is killing the baby really the answer?? He has been so sweet, trying to hold my hand and comfort me and tell me he loves me - not to get me through the shock of "I'm pregnant" but to brace me for the upcoming abortion. He just now told me he loved me - I told him I'm really tired of hearing it now. I hate that I was nasty, but he is really stomping/killing me - right down to my beliefs. I can not do three kids on my own. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. If I fight and keep the baby he will love the child, no doubt. BUT every single problem will be thrown into my face. I don't think I could stay with someone of they did that... its not like I went out and cheated or something. This is ridiculous. I'm just tired of crying and quite frankly tired of him.

AmeliasMum · 02-22-2013, 05:55 AM

Ummm....Sounds like he more or less wants you to abort as a form of "late" birth control. Not sure how an adult man, in a serious relationship, with two other children, who IS having sex with his partner could even suggest termination. Just sounds a bit immature on his behalf. Not every child is planned, but each child has it's own plan. I am 100% pro choice, but having a man suggest/push a choice he himself can never make when it comes to HIS body, irks me. I really you are able to find peace at the place you are in, and YOU make whatever choice YOU feel is right.

lisathib123 · 02-22-2013, 06:16 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Mommy2TwoGirls

He is the sole provider. He says he has thought this through and having "it" is not "logical". I guess you'd also have to understand him - one of major flaws in our relationship is he is very materialistic and doesn't want to loose anything because of this "situation/bump". We are not even married because I refuse a prenup... I believe the whole point of a marriage is to become 'one' not say "okay, we are one except this, and this and this. When our time is up you can have this...." to me its like presigning a divorce settlement. I may be wrong, but I'm not worrying about his crap - that's not what I'm here for. He seems to think he has a whole lot - but in reality he is average. We are sinking right now, so I know he is stressing - but is killing the baby really the answer?? He has been so sweet, trying to hold my hand and comfort me and tell me he loves me - not to get me through the shock of "I'm pregnant" but to brace me for the upcoming abortion. He just now told me he loved me - I told him I'm really tired of hearing it now. I hate that I was nasty, but he is really stomping/killing me - right down to my beliefs. I can not do three kids on my own. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. If I fight and keep the baby he will love the child, no doubt. BUT every single problem will be thrown into my face. I don't think I could stay with someone of they did that... its not like I went out and cheated or something. This is ridiculous. I'm just tired of crying and quite frankly tired of him.

Very selfish :-( I'm sorry.

02-21-2013, 08:46 PM	#21
Fashionably Green Baby Registered Users Formerly: artistmom Join Date: Jun 2009 Location: Indiana Posts: 5,370 Ratings: 34 Feedback: 100% My Mood:	I think I would have to ask him to leave for the night if he I just going to harass you. All will work out. It will be ok __________________ When you feel like giving up, Remember why you held on so long in the first place. Swag with me! 10% off at my HC store with code: diaperswappers

02-21-2013, 08:59 PM	#23
canadianbakers Registered Users Join Date: Sep 2007 Location: MB, Canada Posts: 8,842 Ratings: 34 Feedback: 100%	Re: expired test? many mama. I can't imagine hearing that from my DH. It would break my heart. If he continues to make comments about it, I would have to ask him to leave for a while until he's ready to support you in this. If I ever had to choose between my babies and my DH, as much as I love him, I would choose my babies. This baby is here for a reason, and it's not so he can talk you into aborting it. __________________ ~Elena~ Momma to R (10), Z (8), I (7), L (2), & Piper Ann (4.13.13) always missing Elliana Lucy (2.7.12)

02-21-2013, 11:28 PM	#26
momof3boys1girl Super Moderator Formerly: mOmof3 Join Date: Jun 2007 Location: North Texas Posts: 21,497 Ratings: 795 Feedback: 100% My Mood:	Re: expired test? um wow!! Your dh! Im sorry he doing this to you. I cant imagine my dh not being anything but happy for another baby no matter the situation Im sure he will come around. I don't see you ever saying he was right and you should have aborted no matter what happens! __________________ SAHM to DD(7/05) DS1(12/06)DS2 (4/09)CLW at 28months and Newbie S 1-13-12...BFF to my DH since 10/03 12 week loss of twins "04" I sell scentsy Nothing tastes better then skinny. 80lbs gone 19 to go ISO:OBGE

02-22-2013, 05:04 AM	#27
lisathib123 Registered Users Join Date: Jun 2008 Location: Louisiana Posts: 2,114 Ratings: 22 Feedback: 100% My Mood:	I'm praying for you!! Is he the sole provider? I'm not taking his side. I'm just trying to see this from his side. He might be so stressed and scared that he can't provide that he's not thinking straight. Maybe try and find ways to assure him this will be fine. My last baby had me thinking (obsessing a little) crazy things like abortion, suicide..... And I'm a devout sign holding Catholic!!!! The fear gets to the best of us. PRAY!!! __________________ Lisa, wife to Toby. Mom to Ethan, Morgan, Maggie, Molly, Blaize, Damian, and Jett

02-22-2013, 05:55 AM	#29
AmeliasMum Registered Users Join Date: Apr 2007 Location: Hettinger Co, ND & Shasta Co, CA Posts: 1,034 Ratings: 23 Feedback: 100% My Mood:	Re: expired test? Ummm....Sounds like he more or less wants you to abort as a form of "late" birth control. Not sure how an adult man, in a serious relationship, with two other children, who IS having sex with his partner could even suggest termination. Just sounds a bit immature on his behalf. Not every child is planned, but each child has it's own plan. I am 100% pro choice, but having a man suggest/push a choice he himself can never make when it comes to HIS body, irks me. I really you are able to find peace at the place you are in, and YOU make whatever choice YOU feel is right.