Advice from those with kids on the spectrum

[jac1976]

How do you deal with the social issues? To give you an idea of my son's personality, DS has often been compared to Sheldon on the tv show Big Bang Theory. I was trying to set up a play date with DS and his best friend of the past 2 years when the mom emailed me to let me know her son doesn't want to have DS over anymore (she was really nice about it and I could tell a bit embarrassed since we had already set a date and were just working out the time.). I was heart broken for DS and he was upset as well. But I get it- DS has no filter and will often say what he thinks without thinking of how it will èffect others. (For example- "yes I told him he is annoying. I was trying to do my work and he was talking to me and I couldn't concentrate.)

I want DS to have friends, but his behavior makes it so hard. How do I help him?

[mom1mg]

Is he getting any behavioural intervention? If so then his team should just write you a "filtering" program. If not then I would practice role playing what is ok to say and to whom. Our son uses something like this for being too friendly by accident. His team wrote a program where they divided up all the people in his life into categories ... strangers, community helpers (police, teacher etc), friends, then relatives. You can break it down any way you want though. Then he was given examples of things he might of said and they went over who you could say what with. IE you can say I love you to your mom but not a grocery clerk etc. If you google there may well be pre-written programs out there for this exact thing.

[4ShoreRN]

We are struggling with this as well with my daughter who has aspergers. We are working currently on her rudeness. Just remember friends aren't as important to them as they are to you. Heck my daughter thinks anyone in her class she talks to is her friend. Socialization is important, but don't try to force it. I'm glad you were able to get your son to go on play dates. My daughter turns to stone when a person says hi to her in public. One thing I am going to try is taking her to groups at the library so it is small group socialization in a short amount of time. Hopefully this won't burn her out and the revolving people in the groups won't be continually annoyed by her abrupt rudeness.