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Old 02-25-2013, 08:28 PM   #1
ChunkyMunky
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Help with facts for so

So, I have 4 kids and boyfriend has two and we are expecting. We get to talkinga bout breastfeeding yesterday and it goes horribly wrong. He has already said he wants to be very hands on and that is his nature. He wants me to pump so he can bond with baby by feeding. No problem. And I work outside the home so I will be returning to my night shift shortly postpartum. Then, he says that We wean at six months. Um, er, probably not. One of my kids I breastfed till two months, one not at all, and one self weaned at 11 mos, and my son nursed till he was 20 months. Boyfriend thinks thats insanity. Now, I probalby wouldn't extended breastfeed again because I found weaning very difficult but, a year is mandatory as far as i am concerned. He said 6 mos. Said that since breastmilk is a perfect food, they don't need it longer than that and can have cows milk at 6 mos if you breastfed before that and give proper nutrition. WHAT? So, then he finally agreed to a year but, only if its 'off the tap' and i pump exclusively and feed bottles. I LOVE him but, he is out of his tree. What I want is some peer reviewed evidence that what i want is beneficial and better.

Whatcha got ladies?

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Old 02-25-2013, 08:38 PM   #2
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I don't have anything like links or research but I do have a happily nursing 8 month old right now. My pedia said for the 1st year baby needs breastmilk (if your nursing not ff) & he also said since breastmilk is the best source of nutrition it makes no sense at all to give baby anything else.

Pumping is so much work & I only have one baby. I mean it is fine to pump extra for him to feed the baby but it is a completely different thing to pump exclusively.

I say you tell him I am carry this baby I will compromise and only nurse 12-13 months (don't wanna cut baby off on its bday) and not 20 months as I did before.

Hugs I really hope he comes around. Make sure you tell him not to worry just because you are going I breastfeed doesn't mean you will ignore him - if u know what I mean lol
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Old 02-25-2013, 08:45 PM   #3
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I think the AAP and WHO would be good starting points. I know WHO recommends til 2 and AAP I think til at least 1, and any decent ped will say no cows milk til 1 year...
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Old 02-25-2013, 08:52 PM   #4
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Re: Help with facts for so

http://kellymom.com/ages/older-infant/ebf-benefits/
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Old 02-25-2013, 09:04 PM   #5
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Re: Help with facts for so

I wouldn't pump just to make him happy. He can give the baby a bottle while you're at work and find other ways to be hands on. Boobs are for babies.... he needs to get over it.
And also, any baby book will say that cow milk at 6 months is ludicrous.
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Old 02-25-2013, 09:34 PM   #6
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Re: Help with facts for so

Here's a link from the Medline, run by the National Institutes of Health, about the AAP's position on infant feeding until 12 months:

Quote:
The AAP recommends that all infants be fed breast milk or iron-fortified formula for at least 12 months.
Quote:
The American Academy of Pediatrics does not recommend cow's milk for children under 1 year old. After 1 year, the child should only get whole milk, not skim or reduced-fat milk.
Source: http://www.nlm.nih.gov/medlineplus/ency/article/002447.htm
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Old 02-25-2013, 11:43 PM   #7
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Re: Help with facts for so

Is there anything to support not pumping but actual hands (or boobs) on feeding?

(and trust that I agree with the breast, just looking for some inteligent argumetns.)
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Old 02-26-2013, 12:09 AM   #8
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Quote:
Originally Posted by ChunkyMunky
Is there anything to support not pumping but actual hands (or boobs) on feeding?

(and trust that I agree with the breast, just looking for some inteligent argumetns.)
Well 2 of my lactation consultants say that a baby is more efficient than a pump. So for example my friend would have to pump 3 times at work to get full bottles for her son. & the lactation consultant had her weigh him before nursing him & after & he would get way more than she should pump.

Also if you pump all the time the last 6 months tell him this. You will have some breast milk in the freezer I am sure & so every time you pump you will have to freeze it (costs more in breast milk storage bags) & pull the oldest breast milk from the back of your freezer stash. You will then have to de-thaw & warm it meanwhile baby is crying to eat. Then you will have to wash the bottle & all the pump supplies.
& if you all go anywhere you will have to bring your pump, ice pack for milk u will be pumping, and de-thaw frozen milk before you leave and bring an ice pack for that bottle. If you have an electric pump you will need to have a power supply to turn on the pump.

Tell him it is not fair for you to have to do 3 times the amount of work when from the tap is the best for baby & u AND YOUR OTHER KIDS! More time for them rather than washing bottles, pump equipment then you could be paying attention to the other 6 kids.

One last thing I would ask him how his kids were fed? Maybe he had a bad experience with a breastfeeding wife?!
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Old 02-26-2013, 12:10 AM   #9
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Originally Posted by Sarah-B

Well 2 of my lactation consultants say that a baby is more efficient than a pump. So for example my friend would have to pump 3 times at work to get full bottles for her son. & the lactation consultant had her weigh him before nursing him & after & he would get way more than she should pump.

Also if you pump all the time the last 6 months tell him this. You will have some breast milk in the freezer I am sure & so every time you pump you will have to freeze it (costs more in breast milk storage bags) & pull the oldest breast milk from the back of your freezer stash. You will then have to de-thaw & warm it meanwhile baby is crying to eat. Then you will have to wash the bottle & all the pump supplies.
& if you all go anywhere you will have to bring your pump, ice pack for milk u will be pumping, and de-thaw frozen milk before you leave and bring an ice pack for that bottle. If you have an electric pump you will need to have a power supply to turn on the pump.

Tell him it is not fair for you to have to do 3 times the amount of work when from the tap is the best for baby & u AND YOUR OTHER KIDS! More time for them rather than washing bottles, pump equipment then you could be paying attention to the other 6 kids.

One last thing I would ask him how his kids were fed? Maybe he had a bad experience with a breastfeeding wife?!
Correction *
So for example my friend would have to pump 3 times at work to get 2 full bottles for her son.
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Old 02-26-2013, 12:13 AM   #10
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Re: Help with facts for so

I know WHO lists from the breast as the #1 recommended way to feed a baby, followed by expressed milk, donor milk, and formula in that order.

Also, here's a link to La Leche Leagues page with lots of articles on the benefits of breastfeeding both for the baby and you. Hopefully that gives you someplace to start. I know I've read that nursing from the breast promotes proper maxilofacial development, eye development, releases oxytocin in mom and baby, increased bonding for mom and baby, more direct immune support for the baby (if baby is sick the saliva causes your body to start producing antibodies to the illness right away), they're more likely to get a better mix of foremilk and hindmilk in the way God (or nature if you prefer) intended, it's the way babies are supposed to be fed. Bottles are artificial boobs. They're a poor replacement that are useful when needed, but shouldn't be used when mom is willing and able to nurse. My husband has never fed our daughter and they have bonded just fine. Sadly, I don't have specific references for any of those points. If you can find an LLL leader in your area they'd probably have a lot of resources for you to use. The fact that your SO is rather unilaterally deciding these things also doesn't take into account baby's preferences. Some babies hate bottles. I have a friend who WOH full time and her LO barely eats while she's away, preferring to wait for mom to come home. Good luck with this.
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