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Old 03-06-2013, 10:24 AM   #41
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Re: My 4 yo excluded from a party

OP I think you did it just right and I would have done the same. Too much would have been inviting others, throwing a big party, buying your kid a rejection gift or something crazy. I think a simple cake baked together and a little fun is just the right amount of attention this moment needed in my mind. It teaches the right lesson, you won't be invited to all things, but it's not the end of the world you can still have fun doing other stuff. I mean it's not like you went to her Mom and demanded an invite for your daughter or something, that would have been crazy and that would have deemed the "get over it" reactions some have shown, dessert with family, not so much. But that is just me

I also thank you for this, it is sure to help me in the near future Sadly my DS's best friend is moving and the other kids have been in the same groups a long time and are super clicky so it will be tough till the end of the year, your post is a good way to handle things that might come up for us in the next few months.

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Old 03-06-2013, 10:25 AM   #42
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Re: My 4 yo excluded from a party

I totally missed this thread. I'm sorry you and G went through this, Danielle. Right of passage? Yes. Life's cold, hard reality? Sure. Doesn't make it any easier the first (few) times it happens.

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Originally Posted by ajane View Post
Make the cake and do something special with her.

Can I come beat the crap out of the mom clique for you? Please?
This. I am coming, too.



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Originally Posted by danner View Post
Here it is!

Chocolate Carrot Cake with Cream Cheese Frosting
• 3 cups grated carrot
• c agave nectar (I used honey yesterday!)
• 2 eggs
• 2 egg whites
• c applesauce
• 2 tsp vanilla extract
• 1 c whole wheat pastry flour (I used plain sprouted red wheat)
• c cocoa powder
• 2 tsp baking soda
• 1 tsp baking powder
• 2 tsp cinnamon
• tsp salt
• 1 c grain sweetened chocolate chips
Frosting:
• 12 ounces Neufchatel cheese
• 3 c unrefined powdered sugar
• 1 TBS vanilla extract
Preheat the oven to 350*f. Line two 9 inch round cake pans with parchment paper and set aside. In a large bowl, mix together carrots, agave, eggs, whites, applesauce and vanilla extract. In a separate bowl, mix together flour, cocoa, baking soda, baking powder, cinnamon, and salt. Add dry ingredients to wet ingredients and stir until blended. Stir in chocolate chips. Pour batter into prepared cake pans. Bake for 25-30 minutes. Let cool in pans.
While cakes are cooling prepare frosting by blending ingredients with a mixer until smooth. When cakes are cool, spread about one third of the frosting over cake #1. Place cake #2 on top of cake #1. Spread remaining frosting over top and sides of cake.
We love carrot cake here, and I have never seen this... Yum...


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Last edited by Geckmumto3; 03-06-2013 at 10:30 AM.
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Old 03-06-2013, 10:30 AM   #43
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Re: My 4 yo excluded from a party

Quote:
Originally Posted by danner View Post
Here it is!

Chocolate Carrot Cake with Cream Cheese Frosting
3 cups grated carrot
c agave nectar (I used honey yesterday!)
2 eggs
2 egg whites
c applesauce
2 tsp vanilla extract
1 c whole wheat pastry flour (I used plain sprouted red wheat)
c cocoa powder
2 tsp baking soda
1 tsp baking powder
2 tsp cinnamon
tsp salt
1 c grain sweetened chocolate chips
Frosting:
12 ounces Neufchatel cheese
3 c unrefined powdered sugar
1 TBS vanilla extract
Preheat the oven to 350*f. Line two 9 inch round cake pans with parchment paper and set aside. In a large bowl, mix together carrots, agave, eggs, whites, applesauce and vanilla extract. In a separate bowl, mix together flour, cocoa, baking soda, baking powder, cinnamon, and salt. Add dry ingredients to wet ingredients and stir until blended. Stir in chocolate chips. Pour batter into prepared cake pans. Bake for 25-30 minutes. Let cool in pans.
While cakes are cooling prepare frosting by blending ingredients with a mixer until smooth. When cakes are cool, spread about one third of the frosting over cake #1. Place cake #2 on top of cake #1. Spread remaining frosting over top and sides of cake.
I came to see where the scrapping had gone to this morning and there is a cake recipe! A delicious cake recipe! My husband loves carrot cake and loves chocolate, so this may very well blow his mind. Thank you.

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That rug really tied the whole room together.
Now that the cake recipe has emerged, this thread can derail.

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Old 03-06-2013, 11:37 AM   #44
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Originally Posted by Hungry Caterpillar

I came to see where the scrapping had gone to this morning and there is a cake recipe! A delicious cake recipe! My husband loves carrot cake and loves chocolate, so this may very well blow his mind. Thank you.
At dinner, my husband thanked my daughter for requesting cake.

It really tied the dinner together.
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Old 03-06-2013, 11:41 AM   #45
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Old 03-06-2013, 11:49 AM   #46
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This my mousepad. And no one will ever take it from me.
My buddies did not die face down in the mud so you could have an oriental rug mousepad tying your desk together.
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Old 03-06-2013, 12:06 PM   #47
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Re: My 4 yo excluded from a party

Ok, so obviously, the situation is over, but...

I was this child. When I was in Kindergarten, I clearly remember running out to the bus stop at my friend's house down on the corner. My friend had a wrapped present in her hand and after asking what it was I learned that another kid in class was having a birthday party after class and everyone was invited.

I freaked out and went running back home to mom crying that we didn't have a present for him. We hadn't received an invite but since my friend said everyone was invited I figured it must have gotten lost in the mail. My mom grabbed some cheap dollar store gift we had sitting around for a cousin, wrapped it up and off to school I went, relieved that I was not going to be the only kid in the class that didn't have a gift for him.

I got to school, set my gift with the pile of other gifts and about halfway through my half-day kindergarten class, this kid's mom showed up to pick kids up. Everyone was asked to line up at the door. We all line up and mom does a head count. The number is wrong. She counts again, still wrong.


Yep, I was not invited. I don't remember exactly how many were in our kindergarten class, maybe 12, 15? But I do remember that after everyone left, another friend and I were left to sit in the Kindergarten class room, just the two of us, for the remaining hour of class, (with the teacher of course) with nothing else to do, while the rest of the class went to Chuck E Cheese for this kid's birthday party, including other friends of ours. Of course I cried to my mom when I got home.

But honestly, aside from hugging me and consoling me, my mom didn't do anything else. Clearly the incident had an impact on me since I remember it so clearly. But had my mom done anything, I don't know that I would have really benefited. It sucked, it did affect me, but it didn't scar me for life or anything. I don't carry any sort of deep seeded resentment or anything. I don't think the OP was wrong to bake her child a cake, but I don't know that not baking one would have made any difference either.

I also don't know how it was allowed to have the mom pick up the kids in the middle of the day, and to just leave two of us. It was a private school so I guess that had something to do with it.
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Old 03-06-2013, 12:32 PM   #48
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Re: My 4 yo excluded from a party

I so want to make that cake! I am saving the recipe and counting down the days till I get my kitchen back!
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Old 03-06-2013, 12:35 PM   #49
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Re: My 4 yo excluded from a party

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But honestly, aside from hugging me and consoling me, my mom didn't do anything else. Clearly the incident had an impact on me since I remember it so clearly. But had my mom done anything, I don't know that I would have really benefited.
This is an interesting rabbit trail my brain has hopped down numerous times. If I do x, what long term affect will it have? If I don't do x, what would that do? What would a better mom do? What would my perfect best friend's Erica's mom have done? haha. I think what I've tried to do is be as consistent as possible. In other words, I don't use food as a reward or a carrot so to speak. I don't yell as a general rule. I keep calm and carry on in most situations. I disparage the behavior not the child, etc. But there are times... we zig instead of zag. I'm coming to find that despite my need for guidance in this situation, I think there's room to make mistakes or exceptions.

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Old 03-06-2013, 12:41 PM   #50
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Re: My 4 yo excluded from a party

About that cake: It's DELICIOUS.
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