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Old 06-27-2013, 12:39 PM   #1
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Fighting about chores....ugh.

So I have 3 children of my own and 2 bonus kids. The bonus kids are with us a week on and a week off, 50/50. We live in a 3 bedroom house. The boys share a room and the girls share a room. As many of you probably experience, there are mountains of dishes and laundry! (And the laundry is mostly NOT in a basket......) Plus the kids get into EVERYTHING. Pencils, pillows, books, coloring books, socks....yes, they like to play with socks...., cups, TOILET PAPER for crying out loud

I have fought with them for forever over their cleanliness. The rooms look like bombs went off in them everyday even when ten minutes before they cleaned it and it looked nice, I clean up the house and they walk behind me trashing it again. The boys wash their own laundry now on their own day because I got tired of them throwing clean laundry in the dirty and me having to wash it anyways.

I got so sick and tired of fighting with them that I decided to start a system. I made a chore chart for every kid. Includes daily hygene and things like make bed, pick up clothes, clean catbox (for older two), dust room (once a week), and a daily chore in the house. My plan was to just say, "do your chore chart" and have it all go smoothly from there. Nope. I have to say it multiple times, over and over. Most days I have to go in and READ their chore chart with them AGAIN because I ask, "did you finish" and they say yes even when it's not true!!! UUUUGH. I am at my wits END. My work never ever ends because I can't get them to help me because they can't even finish their own stuff. And, to top it off they fight all day, everyday. Especially the boys over their room chores.

I know, I know. This post is sooo long. I'm sorry, I just need to vent somewhere and wonder if any other mommas feel the same way!? What is the magic trick?? Do you have a plan, do you have the remedy!? lol.
Sorry again, but thank you for letting me vent!

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Old 06-27-2013, 03:19 PM   #2
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Re: Fighting about chores....ugh.

I have a 6 yr old son ad 4 yr old daughter, my husband has a 2 yr old daughter which we have full time and we have a 2 month old together so we have 4 kids under 6 and it is HARD. I am at the end of my rope by noon most days. Since its summer and schools out I don't even get a break with my 6 yr old. They are too young to really help me with chores. They destroy the house and their rooms in 10 minutes like you said, their ALWAYS wanting to eat, their soooooo loud all the time, they fight non stop and I'm always nursing so I can't just get up when they need me to. We ive in an upstairs 3 bedroom apartment which makes it way worse. I need tips for running more smoothly lol this turned into a rant for me sorry. Its one of those days
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Old 06-27-2013, 03:35 PM   #3
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Getting kids to do their chores is hard. With mine I do it a variety of ways. I will write it on the fridge and have them check it off- this works randomly. use chore pad on the iPod which has their chores listed and incentives- they love getting the incentives but will only work for a limited time before I have to switch it up. And sometimes I use "the house rules" app. I list all the chores that need done as well as many "fun" activities such as do a yoga move, one wii fit game, get a snack, do 10 sit-ups, jump 20 times on the trampoline, etc. they spin the wheel and have to do that chore (or activity) and then spin again. Because my MDS is so competitive, I have them keep track of how many "chores" they complete and the one with the most gets a special treat. Fun items count as chores. I only play this game 2max a week and usually only 3x a month as I really don't want them to catch on to how boring it really is lol. One other thing I do is pick a room and set a timer to clean that room. If they get done before the timer everyone gets a treat or a special activity. If they don't but were working hard, I give them bonus time and they can still earn said treat. I have to be in the room for this to work or they don't.
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Old 06-27-2013, 03:39 PM   #4
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Re: Fighting about chores....ugh.

Might need to minimize a bit, until they "prove" they can clean up after themselves. My 4 and 5 year old help with everything, from cooking to cleaning, and while I let their playroom get messy for a few days, they do have to "deep" clean it weekly and find the floor so I can vacuum. They do it 90% on their own. Everything has a place and at really makes a huge difference I think.

ETA, on their own for their room means I don't clean a thing, but I do give specific tasks. Z, put all the dress up away, A, all the stuffed animals go in the Zoo. When you are done come get me, and so on.
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Old 06-28-2013, 07:55 AM   #5
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Re: Fighting about chores....ugh.

I don't have any advice, but wanted you to know I feel you!!! I have 3 of my own and 2 bonus kids as well and all 5 kids are with us Monday - Friday. (We are the stable parents so we do it this way to make sure the kids will have a good normal schedule for school.)

But I feel like I am always cooking, cleaning and doing laundry. And I work 2 jobs. It's INSANITY!! I love it, but geez!!!
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Old 07-01-2013, 11:22 AM   #6
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Re: Fighting about chores....ugh.

I do much like Tris - I sit and supervise and actively assign tasks to my kids - all four of them. It just works better this way.

I saw this idea on pinterest and I'm totally planning to use it soon. Seems genius to me.
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Old 07-01-2013, 02:01 PM   #7
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Re: Fighting about chores....ugh.

You are not alone. I have four children, ages 10, 7, 5, and almost 2. They are a mess!

I am so tired of repeating what is expected of them. I feel like I clean constantly because they leave trails. I do require them to pick up their own things and oftentimes I will toss it all into a big pile if its in my way. Then I make them clean that up. They makes a mess in the bathroom when doing self cleaning (hair, teeth, faces and hands) and NEVER flush the toilet when they pee.

I have gone so far as to only allow them each three toys and bagged up EVERYTHING else in their room. It stayed that way for about a month until I felt they had earned some back. Not long after though it went right back.

We use a reward system, mini poker chips, and they can earn them for following directions the first time, doing their chores (beds, clothes to laundry, hygiene) being respectful and playing nicely. Those can be traded in for certain things. The most important one to them is their video game time. 1 token = 5 mins. I only allow up to an hour a day right now and no can play anything after 4pm. Other things they can earn are one-on-one time, ice cream cone from the ice cream shoppe, a pack of pokemon cards, or $$. But they have to save them up and that doesn't usually happen.

Its hard. It is for the better though and I was just thinking this afternoon as I folded yet another load of laundry that I should teach them to do that.
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Old 07-01-2013, 02:34 PM   #8
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Originally Posted by mommabritt
You are not alone. I have four children, ages 10, 7, 5, and almost 2. They are a mess!

I am so tired of repeating what is expected of them. I feel like I clean constantly because they leave trails. I do require them to pick up their own things and oftentimes I will toss it all into a big pile if its in my way. Then I make them clean that up. They makes a mess in the bathroom when doing self cleaning (hair, teeth, faces and hands) and NEVER flush the toilet when they pee.

I have gone so far as to only allow them each three toys and bagged up EVERYTHING else in their room. It stayed that way for about a month until I felt they had earned some back. Not long after though it went right back.

We use a reward system, mini poker chips, and they can earn them for following directions the first time, doing their chores (beds, clothes to laundry, hygiene) being respectful and playing nicely. Those can be traded in for certain things. The most important one to them is their video game time. 1 token = 5 mins. I only allow up to an hour a day right now and no can play anything after 4pm. Other things they can earn are one-on-one time, ice cream cone from the ice cream shoppe, a pack of pokemon cards, or $$. But they have to save them up and that doesn't usually happen.

Its hard. It is for the better though and I was just thinking this afternoon as I folded yet another load of laundry that I should teach them to do that.
Sounds like my house! I kwym about the bathrooms, geesh! And why would you ever flush?! Once we took away all their toys for like 2 months. It was still a disaster! Just confirms that kids really don't need toys! They do chores, but I'm having a hard time w baby twins in the house checking up. But my 8 & 6 yos fold their own laundry!
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Old 07-02-2013, 10:12 AM   #9
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Re: Fighting about chores....ugh.

I'm reading a book right now called the MoneySmart family system by Steve and Annette Economides. I heard them speak at our homeschool conference this year and it is about so much more than money and finances. There is a lot in there about teaching kids to be motived independent workers. I will be implementing their system with my 6 as soon as I finish the book. They have a website and facebook page too.
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