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Old 03-19-2013, 10:49 AM   #11
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Re: Why do I feel so lazy??

I hope you figure something out!! It is terrible to feel that way. I am sure someone said this but try just doing 1 thing a day. Even if that is your only goal you will feel slightly motivated by it!! A little outside time can be so invigorating for everyone!! If you are concerned about not being out to long plan it shortly before lunch so you have a good excuse to get them back in! I hope you start feeling better

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Old 03-19-2013, 11:05 AM   #12
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Re: Why do I feel so lazy??

I could have written your post. In my case there was also the addition of being totally brain dead as in I couldn't even read easy novels (and I've always loved to read!).

I second getting some blood work done. Found out I was anemic and had low D and borderline low thyroid. Taking Floradix went a long way towards helping me. At the very least if you're not already doing so take a multi daily.

But the supplements only take it so far, I found out I had to exert some personal responsibility. That's the hard part for me that I still struggle with daily.

You have to make peace with the fact that this is your life and you might as well do it well. Imagine that instead of being at home you were at a job that you hated but needed to survive. Would you risk being fired because it was a crappy job and find yourself unable to pay bills? No, you'd still have to do it and do it well until you found a way to change the situation (finding a better job). While you're looking for a PT job or figuring out what might be physically wrong to give you low energy you have to start thinking of your children and your home as a job that you simply must do.

The above is really the hardest part. I agree with the mama who talked about inertia, that is definitely a huge reason why people find it hard to change.

After that though, it's actually quite doable if you take the changes little by little and one step at a time. There are tons of resources out there on managing one's home (FlyLady, Motivated Moms, etc). My personal favorite is the blog Like Mother, Like Daughter; the place to start there is this post about doing the minimum: cooking meals and doing laundry.

As far as the kids go: different people have different personalities. Personally, I'm not a get on the floor and play with the kids type. DH is, he's able to play with them from 0 up. Me, I don't even especially like board games. I'm not really crafty either so aside from them coloring independently not too many crafts get done. But, I find other ways to pay attention to my children. I take them on walks and try to talk to them about what we're seeing. I read to them. I let them tag along and help me with whatever it is I'm doing. When Ladybug asks me a question, I try to focus on her and answer it. If Itsy brings something to show to me, I again simply focus on her and engage her.

Now, my home is still messy and I'm still on the computer way too much. I'm still lazy, don't get me wrong. But things are so much better (and I'm even pregnant!). The combination of realizing that I had to take this seriously no matter how I "felt" and the supplements gave me that kick needed to overcome the inertia and start rebuilding my life. I still have a long long way to go but now I have hope.

I'm going to post this excerpt from that post I linked to above, it really spoke to me and made me reexamine my mindset:
Quote:

And I call these duties for a reason. First, I like using old-fashioned words. Also, some mothers really look at dinner and clean clothes as chores assigned by a particularly demanding, even cruel, parent. But in their heart of hearts they consider them optional.

They actually whine! They complain! They live with a laundry room that has piles of dirty laundry, and a master bedroom that has baskets of unsorted clean laundry! They get annoyed because their kids are hungry! They hate cooking supper!

They think that someone else will come fix all this for them! Then they spend money -- their husband's hard-earned cash -- on take-out dinners, or frozen dinners, or drive-through dinners, because they can't figure out what to have for supper; and on new clothes, because the old ones are dirty!

No, Love, only YOU can solve this problem, the problem of your life;
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Old 03-19-2013, 11:27 AM   #13
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Re: Why do I feel so lazy??

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Originally Posted by RealMommyLife View Post
Thanks mamas. My son will be 3 in 2 months and my daughter is 14 months. I have struggled with depression my whole life, but I've definitely been worse as far as that goes. My aunt mentioned something about thyroid too. When I was pregnant both times I was so debilitated with laziness. I never got out of bed my whole first pregnancy practically. Hubby will get insurance in June. Right now none of us have it. Anyone know if it is my thyroid, what would the treatment for it be? I will also look into some iron supplements and see if that helps! If its not any of that, then I will look into some depression medication. I've never been on it and have always been afraid of it. So hopefully it's something physical that can be treated.
If you have a thyroid problem, you would receive a thyroid med that you would take daily and it will replace or regular the hormones that the thyroid is supposed to be doing. Basically the med does the work that the thyroid isn't. Thyroid problems can present as depression and/or exhaustion.

Also, something I forgot to mention in my last post. Don't let mommy blogs make you think that real life is something different than it is. There was recently a post on here about "fake-booking." It was about people only posting about the good things on facebook or constantly putting a spin on what happened that makes it look like something it wasn't. And, as I posted in that thread, that's really something that happens ALL ACROSS the online world. You talked about people posting about playing with their kids and so on, but remember, that's just a very small snapshot of life. And some of it isn't even real. In the 50's it was June Clever and the housewives on tv, today it's the mommy blogs. All of it is sugar coated, so much that it's really hard to find the real meat of life under it.

Real people don't have spotless houses all the time. Real people aren't 100% engaged with their kids, ALL the time. Real people screw up, make mistakes, yell at their kids, leave a mess sometimes, and get lazy. Real people aren't perfect. It's ok to not be perfect. Sometimes it takes a bit of work to accept that lack of perfection. Be ok with not being perfect. That doesn't mean don't try to improve, it doesn't mean that it's ok to constantly indulge in every whim, it just means that you don't let your flaws define who you are. They are just a part of it. Being lazy sometimes is ok. Being lazy all the time, while not ideal, doesn't make you a bad person. It just is one of those things to work to change.
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Old 03-19-2013, 11:48 AM   #14
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Re: Why do I feel so lazy??

I also really really like this whole post. This post really articulates part of my own journey as a parent. And where my DH is getting to also.

This parenting crap is HARD. It takes a lot of work. And it's not all fun work. And, sorry parents of onlies...once you start adding one or two or three kids, the amount of hard work doesn't just increase, it grows exponentially. Realizing that you have chosen to take on that level of responsibilty is an adjustment and sometimes, we just want to shut down rather than adjust and face the fact that the reality of parenting kids is much much different than the sunshine and rainbows that we daydreamed about and read about on the mommy blogs and watch on June Cleaver 50s tv. And the difficulty isn't in the big life decisions and incidents (though it's certainly there too) it's also in the boring day to day slog-that never ending pile of laundry, that never ending parade of dishes, etc etc etc. I did a load of dishes this morning, and the dishwasher JUST finished, but I have already used enough dishes to fill it again. It's only 1:30. That's just life.
Quote:
Originally Posted by ltlmrs View Post
I could have written your post. In my case there was also the addition of being totally brain dead as in I couldn't even read easy novels (and I've always loved to read!).

I second getting some blood work done. Found out I was anemic and had low D and borderline low thyroid. Taking Floradix went a long way towards helping me. At the very least if you're not already doing so take a multi daily.

But the supplements only take it so far, I found out I had to exert some personal responsibility. That's the hard part for me that I still struggle with daily.

You have to make peace with the fact that this is your life and you might as well do it well. Imagine that instead of being at home you were at a job that you hated but needed to survive. Would you risk being fired because it was a crappy job and find yourself unable to pay bills? No, you'd still have to do it and do it well until you found a way to change the situation (finding a better job). While you're looking for a PT job or figuring out what might be physically wrong to give you low energy you have to start thinking of your children and your home as a job that you simply must do.

The above is really the hardest part. I agree with the mama who talked about inertia, that is definitely a huge reason why people find it hard to change.

After that though, it's actually quite doable if you take the changes little by little and one step at a time. There are tons of resources out there on managing one's home (FlyLady, Motivated Moms, etc). My personal favorite is the blog Like Mother, Like Daughter; the place to start there is this post about doing the minimum: cooking meals and doing laundry.

As far as the kids go: different people have different personalities. Personally, I'm not a get on the floor and play with the kids type. DH is, he's able to play with them from 0 up. Me, I don't even especially like board games. I'm not really crafty either so aside from them coloring independently not too many crafts get done. But, I find other ways to pay attention to my children. I take them on walks and try to talk to them about what we're seeing. I read to them. I let them tag along and help me with whatever it is I'm doing. When Ladybug asks me a question, I try to focus on her and answer it. If Itsy brings something to show to me, I again simply focus on her and engage her.

Now, my home is still messy and I'm still on the computer way too much. I'm still lazy, don't get me wrong. But things are so much better (and I'm even pregnant!). The combination of realizing that I had to take this seriously no matter how I "felt" and the supplements gave me that kick needed to overcome the inertia and start rebuilding my life. I still have a long long way to go but now I have hope.

I'm going to post this excerpt from that post I linked to above, it really spoke to me and made me reexamine my mindset:
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Old 03-19-2013, 01:33 PM   #15
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In addition to the other awesome suggestions, here's another to consider. Is your house really disorganized or cluttery right now. I hope you don't take offense, it's not meant in that way, just sharing my own experience. Until very recently, several areas of my house were a hot mess. I mean a Ridiculous, cannot walk without stepping on stuff, mess. I spent my days much the same as you. It was all just so overwhelming that I didn't know where or how to start, and it just made me kind of say eff it and give up. The kids definitely suffered for it.

Recently we had our bi-annual inspection for or foster care license, so we had no choice but to get it under control. I made a very detailed list of what needed done, and DH and I took turns watching the kids while the other knocked something off the list. It took two weekends and all the evenings in between, but we got it done.

Having it organized has completely changed my outlook! I can now take 10 -15 minutes and straighten up, and the house looks great again. I have a housekeeping and laundry schedule where I do a little every day and don't get overwhelmed. If I get behind (like now due to Dr appointments and a speech evaluation), it's pretty easy to let DH watch the kids for a couple hours and I can get caught up. I've even started meal planning and I'm using my slow cooker almost daily so supper is hot and ready at a decent time with very little effort.

I hope you don't take offense or think I'm assuming you are messy or unorganized, but your post just sounded so much like me a couple weeks ago that I wanted to throw it out there in case it helped. *Hugs*
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Old 03-19-2013, 02:21 PM   #16
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Re: Why do I feel so lazy??

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Originally Posted by RealMommyLife View Post
Anyone know if it is my thyroid, what would the treatment for it be?

June isn't far away!

I went to Hi health and bought something called "Thyroid energy", and it does help a lot. I still need my prescription thyroid meds, but if I had to wait for a few months, I'd get started on some other things that I could get my hands on without a prescription.
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Old 03-19-2013, 02:38 PM   #17
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Re: Why do I feel so lazy??

I've definitely had times where I've felt like that. Try to break out of the vicious cycle and force yourself to get outside. I tend to be my own worst enemy whenever I overthink how much work something is going to be. For example, if I keep thinking about what a hassle it would be to get the kids dressed and get them all to the park, I won't do it. If I just say, "let's go to the park" and set things in motion to get it done, I will feel so much better at the end of the day that I did something.

If you are tired, you can read stories to your kids on the couch -- if it's truly a physical tiredness. Kids LOVE being read to, and it's a way for you to bond with your kids and feel good as a parent without having to exert too much physical energy.
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Old 03-19-2013, 03:17 PM   #18
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Re: Why do I feel so lazy??

When you get insurance you really need to go to the dr. If you have worsened depression, it's pretty dangerous to continue on this way. I hope you find help! Good luck.
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Old 03-20-2013, 12:49 PM   #19
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Re: Why do I feel so lazy??

I agree with others to check your thyroid when insurance comes through and consider the possibility of Anemia (iron) as well. I would also recommend taking a DHA omega 3 supplement. That helps me a lot. as does vitamin D. I also have struggled with depression on and off my whole life and I think I know what you are feeling. I have been there many times.

Last year I got into counseling and was put on a low dose of welbutrin antidepressant and that gave me the boost I needed to get my act together. I don't think I would have been able to do this without the therapy and meds, but what really saved me was exercise, and I've never been an active person at all, but I started running and going to zumba class with the mindset not of losing weight or getting fit, but just literally- "this will be hard for 45 minutes and I really don't want to do it, but I will feel happier and more energetic immediately afterward".

Also don't forget that every small change is a big victory. Baby steps, get on the bus!
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Old 03-20-2013, 01:24 PM   #20
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Re: Why do I feel so lazy??

I agree with the thyroid check, do you know if any women in your family have Hashimoto's? It tends to run in families.

In the meantime try some or all of these things: exercise. I know it sounds counterproductive, if you don't feel like moving why would you want to move on purpose?! But it helps a lot, in some studies it is shown to help more than meds. Get a super B complex vitamin. Take fish oil, flax seed or evening primrose oil (some say the EPO is best for women) to get your omega fatty acids. If you have a smart phone then put it away. If you can lay on the couch and keep yourself entertained for hours then you have no reason to move.

I have 5 kids and I have struggled with depression and laziness and burn out for 13 years. When I am sitting on the couch thinking about how boring life is then I am not happy and I bet you aren't either. Yeah, the first steps are hard. Housework and playing with toddlers is not really fun but you need to do this, for your kids and for yourself.
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