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Old 03-19-2013, 05:43 PM   #1
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How to help DD calm down?

My DD seems to get really frustrated lately. If she's trying to do something and it doesn't work she practically throws everything on the ground and walks away stomping and tightening her fists. She just has this sad/angry look on her face and takes a while to relax. I understand that she's learning and it's good for her, but I feel bad that she gets so upset, sometimes to the point of crying. I would like to have a way of helping her relax and calm down before trying again.

Ideas?

Oh, she's 2.5, will be three years old in August.

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Old 03-19-2013, 07:27 PM   #2
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Re: How to help DD calm down?

Honestly, it sounds like walking away until she's calmer is a good way for her to deal with it. I might work with her on being gentle with the object of her frustrations and praise her for knowing when to take a break.

At that age, a lot of the frustration comes from not being able to do something themselves and me trying help out only emphasized that my children weren't quite capable and further frustrated them. If I could get there before a certain level of frustration and offer suggestions on how they could do it, it could avoid the emotional meltdown.

We also do a lot of what we call "team work" around here. This concept has both players on an even field rather than a weaker one getting help from a stronger one.

Kids do have to learn their limits and how to deal with the frustrations that there are just some things they can't do. Then they have to figure out what to do with the energy and emotions that stem from their failure. For all of mine, getting away from the evil frustrating thing was key. For one hugs helped after. For another being alone. For my youngest, well, he prefers to physically take it out on something so he'll go beat on something.
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Old 03-19-2013, 07:34 PM   #3
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Re: How to help DD calm down?

I've been putting on yoga videos on youtube and doing it with my daughter, who will be two in May (google "yoga with children" or "yoga with toddlers"). She was at a complete loss as to what to do at first (which was all right, because she stopped whining and started concentrating on what was going on), but she sort of gets it now.

I'm also trying to teach her to take deep breaths: "breathe IN like you're smelling a flower... breathe OUT like you're blowing a bubble". I had to concentrate first on the one, and then the other, or else she'd start hyperventilating, lol.

We also make slime sometimes - equal parts (maybe 1 cup each) clear Elmer's glue and liquid starch, mixed thoroughly with hands with a few drops of food colouring (wear gloves to mix in the food colouring because it doesn't half stain your hands). Having watched her play with it a few times, I think it acts sort of like a stress ball for her.
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Old 03-19-2013, 09:33 PM   #4
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Re: How to help DD calm down?

Sometimes, if you can head it off before it gets to the meltdown stage, you can say calmly "Use your words and ask mommy if you need help." I feel like I say that a million times a day to DD2. But as vocabulary increases, it does get a ton better.
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Old 03-20-2013, 07:13 AM   #5
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Re: How to help DD calm down?

We "find our chi" in this house My oldest really struggled with wanting to be able to do more than she could for a time, so if I saw her getting wound up, we'd stop, I'd sit with her or get down to her level and we'd take deep breaths and "pull down positive energy" from the sky. Which is just reaching up and breathing in, pulling down and letting it out.
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Old 03-20-2013, 07:57 AM   #6
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Thanks everyone, I appreciate the help. I think I'll have to try to head it off. Though sometimes I feel like it comes out of nowhere.

I would love more ideas still.
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Old 03-21-2013, 09:19 AM   #7
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Re: How to help DD calm down?

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Originally Posted by Tris View Post
We "find our chi" in this house My oldest really struggled with wanting to be able to do more than she could for a time, so if I saw her getting wound up, we'd stop, I'd sit with her or get down to her level and we'd take deep breaths and "pull down positive energy" from the sky. Which is just reaching up and breathing in, pulling down and letting it out.
Interesting. I hope you come back to see this, as I'm really curious. At what age did you start this with your child? Just following your intuition, or something you read about somewhere? I've sort of done the same with my daughter, but never really with any consistency. She still doesn't get too upset about much, and I am almost always able to redirect her . . . I'm sure this will change at some point in the future. (She's 26 months.)
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Old 03-21-2013, 03:16 PM   #8
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Re: How to help DD calm down?

I found this thing on pinterest, it's a jar you fill with glitter and water and some other stuff that makes it cooler than glitter and water.

anyways, the idea was that your child would shake it and then watch the glitter settle at the bottom of the jar to help them calm down.

but otherwise, I agree with MCP, it sounds like she's doing a good job of giving herself a breather.
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Old 03-21-2013, 06:00 PM   #9
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Quote:
Originally Posted by EmilytheStrange
I found this thing on pinterest, it's a jar you fill with glitter and water and some other stuff that makes it cooler than glitter and water.

anyways, the idea was that your child would shake it and then watch the glitter settle at the bottom of the jar to help them calm down.

but otherwise, I agree with MCP, it sounds like she's doing a good job of giving herself a breather.
DS's developmental preschool uses that as their time out timer. It works very well.
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Old 03-21-2013, 06:13 PM   #10
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Re: How to help DD calm down?

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Originally Posted by GreyMum View Post
Interesting. I hope you come back to see this, as I'm really curious. At what age did you start this with your child? Just following your intuition, or something you read about somewhere? I've sort of done the same with my daughter, but never really with any consistency. She still doesn't get too upset about much, and I am almost always able to redirect her . . . I'm sure this will change at some point in the future. (She's 26 months.)
I'm not sure if I learned it or if it was just a lucky attempt, but it helps for sure. She would get herself so wound up that she couldn't communicate at all. I think we started around 2ish, and we use it still occasionally at 5.
There's a book that really taught me how to communicate with her, raising your spirited child, it might have been in there or maybe the idea just sparked from it.
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