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Old 05-22-2013, 01:56 PM   #1
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Does it ever make you sad?

That you may not be able to have as many babies as you want? I see these amazing mamas on here that have 6,7, or more children and I know that I just won't be able to do this safely because I had a c section. I am one of those women that would probably have died in the 1800s without modern medicine. Big baby, no dilation, etc. I was ok with the c section, but I've always wanted a really large family or at least the possibility of it.

I know I could try a vbac or I could have a bunch of c sections, but I'm afraid of the risks. I have another person that relies on me and I couldn't imagine his life without me. Does anyone else feel this way?

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Old 05-22-2013, 01:59 PM   #2
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Re: Does it ever make you sad?

Yes. I wanted a dozen. Now I feel fortunate to have 3. I am trying for just one more but am not overly hopeful.
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Old 05-23-2013, 07:35 AM   #3
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Re: Does it ever make you sad?

I am in a different ball park. My first c-section resulted in no take home children (triplets). My second resulted in my son. And my third will result in my second son. However I may not be able to have more children after this without giving my OB oxygen.

I am thankful for the almost 2 that I have but I never wanted a huge family. I wanted 3. I think I would be fine if I got to that three by adoption or by giving birth. I love being pregnant. I guess I have had a lot of practice with it. But I am TRYING hard to realize that this could be my last pregnancy. Letting go is hard for me, but if I need to, I will. DH isn't even discussing the possibility of going back for donor egg/embryo at this point as we can't afford it at the moment. But I know if the economy came back we would be able to afford it again in no time. So sadly, politics outside my control are involved in this more then my c-section.
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Old 05-23-2013, 07:48 AM   #4
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I kind of feel the same way. I had my tubes tied after my 2nd. My 1st c section and recovery was awful. We decided due to that and other reasons we would be done with 2. My 2nd c section and recovery was so easy! Later on down the road, after I finish school, adoption is always an option. That is one way to expand your family without worrying about you having to have a other c section.
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Old 05-23-2013, 07:58 AM   #5
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Re: Does it ever make you sad?

mama.
As the other posters have said, you can consider adoption for your family as well.
And for what it's worth, you can ask your ob after each baby how your scar is healed and how your body is doing. My mom had 7 c-sections safely. She had some major complications with baby #8, but up until then, she had no issues with the pregnancy, delivery, or recovery. Some moms are not safe after 1 section - a friend of mine was rupturing before labor with her second baby, and it happened again with a third baby. Her uterus just didn't handle the scar well from the first section. But others are able to safely carry many more babies. Don't rule anything out yet - see how your body does first.
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Old 05-23-2013, 08:17 AM   #6
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Re: Does it ever make you sad?

Thank you for all of the responses! I still struggle with it and I am so happy with the boy that I have and the baby that will be here in October. I just wish I didn't even have to worry about it. I think we will have 4 children, but what if I don't feel complete after the 4th? My pregnancies are (knock on wood) so easy and I love being pregnant. I just can't imagine that part of my life coming to an end someday.
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Old 05-24-2013, 10:12 AM   #7
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Re: Does it ever make you sad?

I encourage you to consider a VBAC attempt if you want a large family. If you compare the maternal risks of a RCS to the risks with a VBAC, you may change your mind. And if you are successful, it will certainly make it more likely you can have a larger family.

All of that being said, I am the mother of 5. Same as you, big babies, no dilation and ALL C/S. I attempted a VBA4C and was able to labor for 16 hours to no avail, but I am glad I tried.

The thing with C/S is that every woman is different. Some women 'scar" really well and other don't. One woman may look so bad inside afterone C/S that they discourage another, while other women (like myself) have minimal scarring after multiple C/S.

If you opt not to go for the VBAC, just ask your provider after the C/S how things looked. I am waiting for my OR reports from my 5th C/S just this past March before deciding if we will have another. I used a different OB since I was going for a VBAC, but I want my OB to review my surgery notes and let me know what he thinks about another pregnancy.

I would definitely have been sad if I had needed to stop after 2, because I always wanted a biggish family.

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Old 05-24-2013, 08:11 PM   #8
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Re: Does it ever make you sad?

I also think you should try for a VBAC if you are worried about this. Maternal death is VERY rare with both VBAC and CS. I always wanted 2 or 3 children, so it wasn't an issue with me, but you do not have to be limited to just 3 or 4 babies when you have only had 1 CS so far.
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Old 05-24-2013, 08:14 PM   #9
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Re: Does it ever make you sad?

However, the thought of not being preg a bunch of times does make me sad. I only want MAYBE 1 more baby, but I wish I could be preg forever. I get baby blues BAD right after birth because I am so sad it is over, even though I am so happy to have my baby.
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Old 05-24-2013, 09:13 PM   #10
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Re: Does it ever make you sad?

I'm expecting my 5th via 5th C/S in about a month . It's possible! Find an OB who has experience with multiple C/S and supports your decision to have a big family. Ask the OB during your C/S if it is safe for you to have another baby at that time and make a note of what they tell you. You may have to visit several OB's before you find this. I did. My doctor has done 6-8 C/S's on mamas before so he's fairly comfortable with multiple C/S's. He has 4 kids of his own so he's been supportive of our decision to have a large family. I've heard of mamas having 8-9 C/S (one is a FB friend of mine and one has a blog) without much of an issue. I have had a uterine window in my 4th C/S meaning the doc could see the baby through the uterus thinning and didn't need a knife to cut through that part of my uterus...that said - he said that happens to women in multiple pregnancies and no history of C/S but they don't know about it when they deliver vaginally. This time the only real thing he's doing different is an U/S at 36 weeks to check my uterus and see if it's thinning. I do know that there is a chance of the need for a hysterectomy due to complications (but that's always a risk right?) and after 5 babies I'm going to find a way to be okay with that if it happens...I hope to have maybe 6 or more some day and I will ask my doc during this C/S if that's possible/recommended or not. I know there are increased risks with multiple C/S's, but there are also increased risks with multiple pregnancies/deliveries in general and you never really know what is going to happen. I trust my doc and I believe God has blessed us with these kids and I try to enjoy the blessings try to not really 'worry' about how they get here.

Basically - you CAN still have the large family you want - don't give up. If you want to try for a VBAC do so, if it's not successful IT"S NOT THE END OF THE LINE...having a C/S doesn't necessarily restrict the size of your family . Find a good OB you trust and ask the hard questions and don't accept the first 'NO' you receive .
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