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Old 03-23-2013, 12:42 PM   #11
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Re: When to stop babying your babies??

Maybe accept that he may just be sensitive, not "the biggest sissy ever", and work with that. I mean how tough does a 16 month old need to be?

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Old 03-23-2013, 01:01 PM   #12
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Re: When to stop babying your babies??

My 16 month old is a drama queen and will make a big fuss when she gets the tiniest bit hurt. I've been doing home daycare for the last couple months and it started then. I think she just wants attention. I try to find a balance. If it looks like it didn't hurt I'll tell her that she's ok. If she keeps crying I'll tell her to come over and I'll comfort her and try to distract her. If it really did hurt then usually I'm more upset than she is lol. I will also let her cry when she's throwing a tantrum or wants her own way and will ignore it until she's ready to be calm and cuddle. She loves cuddling and will come to me for cuddles several times a day. She is a girl though so I guess it's a little different. I think telling him he's ok when he's not really hurt is good and to distract him. It's about teaching him to not "lie" by faking he's hurt, not to play the boy who cried wolf. But at the same time to make sure he gets enough attention and cuddles in at other times. It's most likely an attention thing and what you want to do is teach him better ways to seek out attention.
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Old 03-23-2013, 01:08 PM   #13
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Quote:
Originally Posted by addicteddad
Maybe accept that he may just be sensitive, not "the biggest sissy ever", and work with that. I mean how tough does a 16 month old need to be?
I don't expect him to be "tough" but he will fall, and land on his nice cloth diaper padded bottomi, not even hard, like he practically sat down and landed harder than he expected and the boy ends up in a meltdown and screams bloody murder until I nurse him. At 16months old, he should be able to fall and get back up without dramatics.

please forgive all typos due to auto correct's lack of mind reading abilities. :-)
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Old 03-23-2013, 01:17 PM   #14
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Re: When to stop babying your babies??

I agree I think a lot has to do with personality. My daughter was babied or at least inteied to. She was having nothing to do with it. She was more independent and more secure early on than either of my boys.

Both of my boys are drama kings. To see them get hurt you would think they were dying. My older one is also very sensitive emotionally.

My youngest is only 21 months but looks to have a very similar personality. He throws himself down and cries like his little heart is breaking if denied something or his feelings are hurt. He will grab his mouth like it is hurting because when teething he found it would elicit sympathy.

When with other children my older son is tougher. He will wait until he gets home to out in the drama. Like a stubbed toe when with others he will brush off. At home with me it becomes a debilitating injury.
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Old 03-23-2013, 01:51 PM   #15
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I think it's personality and wouldn't get too worked up about it. Perhaps he will grow up to be a sensitive man - that doesn't seem like a bad thing to me.

I get a little nervous hearing words like "sissy" - its such a gendered term (sissy < sister). So then it's like being sensitive is for girls while boys should suck it up like men.

Not saying that is where the OP is coming from but while I encourage my girls not to be drama queens (and some are more "sissy" than others) I think that kind of language is a problem.

My DH is a lovely man. A great dad. A musician, a hard worker. many wonderful things. but he wasn't a jock like his brothers, and was always seen as a "sissy." I think it did a lot of damage.
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Old 03-23-2013, 02:53 PM   #16
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Re: When to stop babying your babies??

I'm also uncomfortable with the use of "sissy".
But fwiw my younger child is a screamer. And I don't rush to his aid for minor injuries and I've always been very "brush it off, you're fine" with both kids. They just have inherently different temperaments.
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Old 03-23-2013, 06:01 PM   #17
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Re: When to stop babying your babies??

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Originally Posted by GirlFriday13th View Post
I'm also uncomfortable with the use of "sissy".
.
Me, too. I have never heard the word used in a way that didn't come across as homophobic or misogynistic.

Children have different temperaments. I can't imagine using a slur against a 16-month-old for not being "masculine" enough. Then again, I also wouldn't use the word to describe a 16-YEAR-old who wasn't traditionally masculine. There are lots of ways to be a boy, just as there are lots of ways to be a girl.
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Old 03-23-2013, 06:07 PM   #18
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Re: When to stop babying your babies??

I think A LOT of it is personality.

My oldest didn't get a whole lot of babying since he became a big brother at 13 months. Sure I still treated him in an age appropriate way, but he learned to do lots of things for himself (walk when we were out instead of being carried, get into his own car seat instead of being lifted in, etc) VERY early. And at 5.5 will cry at the drop of a hat because he is sensitive. We're currently working on expressing emotions through words, and when are times that crying helps your emotion, or hinders your emotion. ex. if you are upset that someone took your crayon, crying won't get your crayon back, but if you say "could I have my crayon back please?" probably will!

My youngest is the first grandaughter, she's tiny for her age, has a very lovable personality and is definitely babied even if it is unintentional and she takes so many things in stride, even telling us "I'm okay" if she falls and someone is fawning all over her. She decided to potty train herself last week (25 months) even though I was going to wait until after the new baby was born.
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Old 03-23-2013, 06:31 PM   #19
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Thank you to those who took the time to post a reply that is relevant to the question, instead of choosing to pick apart my word choices


Quote:
Originally Posted by SaraElise
I think A LOT of it is personality.

My oldest didn't get a whole lot of babying since he became a big brother at 13 months. Sure I still treated him in an age appropriate way, but he learned to do lots of things for himself (walk when we were out instead of being carried, get into his own car seat instead of being lifted in, etc) VERY early. And at 5.5 will cry at the drop of a hat because he is sensitive. We're currently working on expressing emotions through words, and when are times that crying helps your emotion, or hinders your emotion. ex. if you are upset that someone took your crayon, crying won't get your crayon back, but if you say "could I have my crayon back please?" probably will!

My youngest is the first grandaughter, she's tiny for her age, has a very lovable personality and is definitely babied even if it is unintentional and she takes so many things in stride, even telling us "I'm okay" if she falls and someone is fawning all over her. She decided to potty train herself last week (25 months) even though I was going to wait until after the new baby was born.
This was a very insightful posting.

I suppose it goes back to the nature nurture conundrum. I guess I will have to figure out what is the best way to handle his toddlerhood without comparing him to his older brother whom we affectionately refer to as a "tank"
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Old 03-23-2013, 06:33 PM   #20
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Re: When to stop babying your babies??

I have to disagree with those against the word "sissy" in regards to this post. The op meant "timid" "childish" "baby" more so than "cowardly boy" or "like a girl" and I SERIOUSLY doubt she is calling him a sissy or making fun of her own child. She simply chose a word to describe an action. And yes I DO know this is how she meant it BC I know her in real life

Oh and my 2 year old son acts this way sometimes. It started after we had our last son and he's getting over it day by day. Doing exactly like you're doing. He'll grow out of it and/or maybe be a little on the sensitive side. Like my daughter for example...my husband can simply look at her and she will cry (he's the mighty enforcer and can give them a look, they stop dead in their tracks).
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