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Old 03-23-2013, 06:47 PM   #21
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People are so nit picky here sometimes...I'm sure she isn't being insulting, just descriptive. I am just not really all that PC either so maybe I just don't read into these things like some here.

OP, I have a boy like your first, so I can only imagine having our second be lime your second. I think it's a lot personality, and handling it right. Like you said, console but don't baby is how I would try to approach it as he gets older. At this age I would just be calm and reassure him he's ok. It doesn't sound like you are dramatically rushing over like OMG baby are you ok?!?!

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Old 03-23-2013, 07:06 PM   #22
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Re: When to stop babying your babies??

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Originally Posted by Mom2Connor View Post
People are so nit picky here sometimes...I'm sure she isn't being insulting, just descriptive.
So if I feel put off and confused by the term sissy, does that make me nitpicky? Just curious, because I do feel a bit insulted by it, and I couldn't put my finger on why at first.

So I got the definition:

Noun
derogatory. A person regarded as effeminate or cowardly.

Adjective
derogatory. Feeble and cowardly.

I think these definitions is why I am uncomfortable with the word. It's derogatory and being used about a baby. If this isn't how the OP meant it, then it was a poor choice of word.

Anyway, if the question is, when do you stop responding to every single bump, I'd say at about 6 months. I follow my kids lead though, and if they are genuinely scared or sad or hurt, I react with love and care regardless of gender or to how they might turn out later on.
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Old 03-23-2013, 07:13 PM   #23
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Re: When to stop babying your babies??

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Originally Posted by danner View Post
So if I feel put off and confused by the term sissy, does that make me nitpicky? Just curious, because I do feel a bit insulted by it, and I couldn't put my finger on why at first.

So I got the definition:

Noun
derogatory. A person regarded as effeminate or cowardly.

Adjective
derogatory. Feeble and cowardly.

I think these definitions is why I am uncomfortable with the word. It's derogatory and being used about a baby. If this isn't how the OP meant it, then it was a poor choice of word.

Anyway, if the question is, when do you stop responding to every single bump, I'd say at about 6 months. I follow my kids lead though, and if they are genuinely scared or sad or hurt, I react with love and care regardless of gender or to how they might turn out later on.
Read my post. I also put in terms from the dictionary's description. Its NOT in every form meant that way. So calm down.

Here you go:

2.*A person regarded as timid or cowardly

sissy*- a timid man or boy considered childish or unassertive

Now pansie...would be different. But sissy? Really?
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Old 03-23-2013, 07:23 PM   #24
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Quote:
Originally Posted by danner

So if I feel put off and confused by the term sissy, does that make me nitpicky? Just curious, because I do feel a bit insulted by it, and I couldn't put my finger on why at first.

So I got the definition:

Noun
derogatory. A person regarded as effeminate or cowardly.

Adjective
derogatory. Feeble and cowardly.

I think these definitions is why I am uncomfortable with the word. It's derogatory and being used about a baby. If this isn't how the OP meant it, then it was a poor choice of word.

Anyway, if the question is, when do you stop responding to every single bump, I'd say at about 6 months. I follow my kids lead though, and if they are genuinely scared or sad or hurt, I react with love and care regardless of gender or to how they might turn out later on.
Dictionary.com
sissy[ sis-ee ]
noun
1. an effeminate boy or man.
2. a timid or cowardly person.
3. a little girl.

effeminate[ adj. ih-fem-uh-nit; v. ih-fem-uh-neyt ]
adjective
1. (of a man or boy) having traits, tastes, habits, etc., traditionally considered feminine, as softness or delicacy.
2. characterized by excessive softness, delicacy, self-indulgence, etc.: effeminate luxury.


So I guess it depends on the dictionary you use. Obviously I wasn't using a derogatory word towards my son!

I agree with PP people are so nit picky.

To clear things up, I was calling my son "soft, delicate, and timid."
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Old 03-23-2013, 08:30 PM   #25
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I think it's personality. I guess I don't see responding to them, even if you think they are fine, as babying. To me that is just responding to their needs, even if again, you think they are fine.

I think falling down can hurt emotionally and that may be why some kids seem more emotional than others.
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Old 03-23-2013, 08:39 PM   #26
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I think I said in my original response that I didn't think this was the OPs intention so I am a little surprised at the defensiveness. No offense was intended.

I wasn't trying to nitpick so much as say that I think words matter.

I have had similar kinds of semantics pointed out to me (eg the difference between praising behavior and praising the child "great job" vs "good boy") and I found it useful even if I sometimes forget to choose my words well.

ETA I am sorry you took offense but I don't believe I was really off topic as the subject line was about raising a more masculine boy.
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Old 03-23-2013, 08:46 PM   #27
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Originally Posted by jamieism
I think I said in my original response that I didn't think this was the OPs intention so I am a little surprised at the defensiveness. No offense was intended.

I wasn't trying to nitpick so much as say that I think words matter.

I have had similar kinds of semantics pointed out to me (eg the difference between praising behavior and praising the child "great job" vs "good boy") and I found it useful even if I sometimes forget to choose my words well.
Mama it wasn't your post that triggered my defense. No offense was taken from your post at all!

Gently stating your opinion (as you did) and accusing me of being homophobic, misogynistic and using derogatory language towards my own son, are hardly the same thing.

please forgive all typos due to auto correct's lack of mind reading abilities. :-)

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Old 03-23-2013, 08:57 PM   #28
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I'd like to add that, dictionary.com, Merrium Webster, thefreedictionary.com and the Oxford dictionary all give me the same definition, and NONE of them refers to it as derogatory. So Danner, I would LOVE to know where that definition came from, and if you have more than one source to back up your information.

please forgive all typos due to auto correct's lack of mind reading abilities. :-)
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Old 03-23-2013, 09:09 PM   #29
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Re: When to stop babying your babies??

I'll jump on the sissy bandwagon. As a child it was only used in reference to boys in a derogatory way. Among the kids I knew in my neighborhood or at school it was the worst insult you could hand out to a boy. However I assumed op was not being derogatory towards her son.

What bothers me. though not with just this thread, is the idea that a 16 month old child is not a baby. To me it seems so many parents want their babies to grow up too fast. I would most assuredly consider a 16 month old a baby so of course I would baby my baby. Not a small baby, but a baby none the less.
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Old 03-23-2013, 09:21 PM   #30
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A 16 month old is still a baby. Walking talking baby. I baby babies. I don't even like that term. It seems degrading. Coddle? While I don't react often, when there is genuine hurt or fear I go quickly. When they lay it on thick I tell them they don't have to convince me, and I help them calm down.

Quote:
Originally Posted by addicteddad
Maybe accept that he may just be sensitive, not "the biggest sissy ever", and work with that. I mean how tough does a 16 month old need to be?
I was thinking this. There was a lot if "tough guy" between the lines TO ME in that OP. perhaps having military dad home has created a different dynamic?

Quote:
Originally Posted by GirlFriday13th
I'm also uncomfortable with the use of "sissy".
But fwiw my younger child is a screamer. And I don't rush to his aid for minor injuries and I've always been very "brush it off, you're fine" with both kids. They just have inherently different temperaments.
This is us too.

Quote:
Originally Posted by danner

So if I feel put off and confused by the term sissy, does that make me nitpicky? Just curious, because I do feel a bit insulted by it, and I couldn't put my finger on why at first.

So I got the definition:

Noun
derogatory. A person regarded as effeminate or cowardly.

Adjective
derogatory. Feeble and cowardly.

I think these definitions is why I am uncomfortable with the word. It's derogatory and being used about a baby. If this isn't how the OP meant it, then it was a poor choice of word.

Anyway, if the question is, when do you stop responding to every single bump, I'd say at about 6 months. I follow my kids lead though, and if they are genuinely scared or sad or hurt, I react with love and care regardless of gender or to how they might turn out later on.
Just another yes. We do our men and boys such a disservice by requiring such toughness and using such emotionally provocative words.
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