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Old 03-23-2013, 09:50 PM   #31
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My son wasn't even walking at 16 months. He was definitely still babied then.

I think something to think about is the pp who mentioned falling can hurt emotionally. This is so true. Kind of like the other day when I walked through a spider web and cried because I was so scared and emotionally overwhelmed. Maybe he is overreacting to a fall because its hard on him emotionally. I was a "what, did you look at her wrong." Kind of child. I think following their lead is the best approach. React how you think he should react emotionally and eventually he will catch on. Also, I think dr Sears said boys tend to be more "tough" and gravitate towards dad starting in the 2-3 range. Before that, they still kind of need the tenderness of mom.

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Old 03-23-2013, 10:19 PM   #32
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DS1 is 21m and is so tender-hearted. He cries when he thinks he's done something wrong (not in an, I'm in trouble type of cry, but rather an, I feel bad I'm disappointing you and not doing it properly, type of cry). I don't know why. He wants to do everything right, so if he accidentally falls while running, hurts you in some way, etc he gets this defeated look on his face and starts at the very least whining and looking to me to make sure it's okay. I always just react calmly, ask him if he's okay rather than tell him he is, and ask him to tell me what happened. By the time he's done trying to tell me about what happened, he's not upset anymore. Sometimes just asking if he's okay makes him feel secure enough to move on.

He's always been that way. He's very loving on his own. He's also very independent. He's not a cuddler. About the only time he sits with me is if Super Why is on, or if we're on the floor playing with DS2. He likes playing alone, wants to do things himself, wants to help other people do things. He's brave somehow, too. Once his father and I were play fighting each other over something and he marched (and I mean shoulders back, chest puffed out, stone faced) up and got in between us and put his father in his place LOL. He was 16m then maybe? He also comes running if I scream (from mice lately). But at the same time, he hugs and kisses everyone hello. He tries to share everything with everyone. He wants to love everyone.

I think he'll be very "manly" when he's a man. But I also think he will be easily hurt, open with his emotions, trust a little too much sometimes, and love deeply. I wouldn't change my tenderhearted baby for anything

If it makes you feel any better, the cries turn to whines, whines to cautious glances, and glances to nothing. Every stage has a shelf life, he won't cry over a fall forever. It can be frustrating, especially with other babies to tend to, no doubt. But I just try to remember to enjoy the cuddles while they last. When DS1 is 20, he won't be running to me over every little thing, and I won't get a bajillion huge and kisses a day. So I try to enjoy it while it lasts, and try not to get too frustrated. He just knows mama will protect him from everything, and while I can still do that (because it doesn't last long in today's world of growing up fast), I want to

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Old 03-23-2013, 10:32 PM   #33
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I too was put off by the use of sissy. Ime, it's only ever been used in a derogatory way. Maybe a regional thing? I understand op stated she didn't intend it that way. Not the wording I would have chosen.
Anyways, I think it has alot more to do with personality than anything else. dd1&3 are much more likely to brush of a fall/hurt feelings etc. dd#2 needs more love and cuddles and trends to craft, and whine more than the other two combined.

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Old 03-23-2013, 10:45 PM   #34
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Re: When to stop babying your babies??

One question to ask the OP: Would you be posting this question if the 16 month old was a girl? Would you be worrying that she was going to grow up to be a sissy?


The issue people are taking is what can be read between the lines - that you except boys to be tough and 'man up'. That they shouldn't be emotional or sensitive. Would you expect that of a girl? Its called sexism.
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Old 03-24-2013, 04:56 AM   #35
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So Danner, I would LOVE to know where that definition came from, and if you have more than one source to back up your information.
I went to Google and typed: define sissy

I'm not sure why you want multiple sources, I'm not writing an article or a school paper.

I've resolved to refrain posting here further because I thought I could help you see something by defining the word sissy but it just caused an argument. That wasn't my intention.
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Old 03-24-2013, 06:27 AM   #36
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Re: When to stop babying your babies??

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Originally Posted by kaydove View Post
One question to ask the OP: Would you be posting this question if the 16 month old was a girl? Would you be worrying that she was going to grow up to be a sissy?


The issue people are taking is what can be read between the lines - that you except boys to be tough and 'man up'. That they shouldn't be emotional or sensitive. Would you expect that of a girl? Its called sexism.
This thread is getting a little out of control if you ask me. GGirls tend to be more sensitive than boys. Its a known thing, not anything new. Common human nature is not sexism. Not every boy is the exact same, obviously here is one article upon MANY that you can find about this. http://www.mastersofhealthcare.com/blog/2009/10-big-differences-between-mens-and-womens-brains/
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Old 03-24-2013, 07:38 AM   #37
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Originally Posted by SamanthaLove88
This thread is getting a little out of control if you ask me. GGirls tend to be more sensitive than boys. Its a known thing, not anything new. Common human nature is not sexism. Not every boy is the exact same, obviously here is one article upon MANY that you can find about this. http://www.mastersofhealthcare.com/blog/2009/10-big-differences-between-mens-and-womens-brains/
Thank you!!
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Old 03-24-2013, 07:39 AM   #38
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Originally Posted by Hillargh
DS1 is 21m and is so tender-hearted. He cries when he thinks he's done something wrong (not in an, I'm in trouble type of cry, but rather an, I feel bad I'm disappointing you and not doing it properly, type of cry). I don't know why. He wants to do everything right, so if he accidentally falls while running, hurts you in some way, etc he gets this defeated look on his face and starts at the very least whining and looking to me to make sure it's okay. I always just react calmly, ask him if he's okay rather than tell him he is, and ask him to tell me what happened. By the time he's done trying to tell me about what happened, he's not upset anymore. Sometimes just asking if he's okay makes him feel secure enough to move on.

He's always been that way. He's very loving on his own. He's also very independent. He's not a cuddler. About the only time he sits with me is if Super Why is on, or if we're on the floor playing with DS2. He likes playing alone, wants to do things himself, wants to help other people do things. He's brave somehow, too. Once his father and I were play fighting each other over something and he marched (and I mean shoulders back, chest puffed out, stone faced) up and got in between us and put his father in his place LOL. He was 16m then maybe? He also comes running if I scream (from mice lately). But at the same time, he hugs and kisses everyone hello. He tries to share everything with everyone. He wants to love everyone.

I think he'll be very "manly" when he's a man. But I also think he will be easily hurt, open with his emotions, trust a little too much sometimes, and love deeply. I wouldn't change my tenderhearted baby for anything

If it makes you feel any better, the cries turn to whines, whines to cautious glances, and glances to nothing. Every stage has a shelf life, he won't cry over a fall forever. It can be frustrating, especially with other babies to tend to, no doubt. But I just try to remember to enjoy the cuddles while they last. When DS1 is 20, he won't be running to me over every little thing, and I won't get a bajillion huge and kisses a day. So I try to enjoy it while it lasts, and try not to get too frustrated. He just knows mama will protect him from everything, and while I can still do that (because it doesn't last long in today's world of growing up fast), I want to

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This was very helpful! Thanks.
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Old 03-24-2013, 07:44 AM   #39
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Originally Posted by kaydove
One question to ask the OP: Would you be posting this question if the 16 month old was a girl? Would you be worrying that she was going to grow up to be a sissy?

The issue people are taking is what can be read between the lines - that you except boys to be tough and 'man up'. That they shouldn't be emotional or sensitive. Would you expect that of a girl? Its called sexism.
At 16 months I would expect any child, boy or girl, who has been walking for over 5 months, like my son has, to fall down, and get right back up without having a meltdown, this hardly makes me sexist!!

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Old 03-24-2013, 08:36 AM   #40
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Re: When to stop babying your babies??

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I think A LOT of it is personality.

My oldest didn't get a whole lot of babying since he became a big brother at 13 months. Sure I still treated him in an age appropriate way, but he learned to do lots of things for himself (walk when we were out instead of being carried, get into his own car seat instead of being lifted in, etc) VERY early. And at 5.5 will cry at the drop of a hat because he is sensitive. We're currently working on expressing emotions through words, and when are times that crying helps your emotion, or hinders your emotion. ex. if you are upset that someone took your crayon, crying won't get your crayon back, but if you say "could I have my crayon back please?" probably will!

My youngest is the first grandaughter, she's tiny for her age, has a very lovable personality and is definitely babied even if it is unintentional and she takes so many things in stride, even telling us "I'm okay" if she falls and someone is fawning all over her. She decided to potty train herself last week (25 months) even though I was going to wait until after the new baby was born.
this describes our boys too. My first, who is very independent is so sensitive and gets his feeling hurt easily. The 2nd DS is much more go with the flow and doesn't seem to be as sensitive about things as DS1.

Each boy requires a little bit different parenting. Yelling/raising my voice does nothing except making things worse for DS1-- a stern look actually works 1,000x better. DS2 needs the stern voice.

At 16 months my boys were still babies--neither were walking. I still offer lots of hugs/kisses when they get hurt. Even DS1 who is 6, who is very sensitive is growing out of the needing hugs/kisses stage.

I think we expect kids to grow up way to fast in todays society. so i have no problems with my kids being babies/kids for as long as possible.
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