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Old 03-28-2013, 11:24 AM   #21
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Re: Help me fake a very serious illness

I would plan you DH a make-up birthday dinner at that time. After all, the man never got his cake. In laws are the worst.

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Old 03-28-2013, 11:25 AM   #22
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Re: Help me fake a very serious illness

Fake lice.. everyone will be glad you stayed away.
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Old 03-28-2013, 11:27 AM   #23
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Re: Help me fake a very serious illness

Tell her you're on a new Purina diet recommend by a friend but didn't work out so well and started vomiting all over the bathroom including yourself. And when the ambulance came, the medics could barely keep their composure with your mouth smelling like someone just crapped in it and while putting you on a stretcher they lost balance and you fell to the ground sustaining major concussion.

And if she doubts your story pretend like you don't know her and start screaming at the top of your lungs asking the nurse for another dose of animal tranquilizer.
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Old 03-28-2013, 11:35 AM   #24
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We got out of my nephew's party because the baby had coxsackie virus & DS2 had swollen lymph nodes. We did want to go though.

Try stomach virus. That is going around...

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Old 03-28-2013, 11:42 AM   #25
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Originally Posted by earthflower
Bells Palsy, it will be unobvious but serious enough no one would question you.
It would be on her face, there's no hiding that.
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Old 03-28-2013, 11:55 AM   #26
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Re: Help me fake a very serious illness

Agreed here, bells palsy is not your best bet. But stomach bug or food poisening that could work. Usually the words explosive diarrhea is enough to stop anyone from asking more, so agree on that front too. But I might be just mean enough to forget and go shopping with dh and the baby hours away. Opps...
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Old 03-28-2013, 12:29 PM   #27
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Re: Help me fake a very serious illness

In all seriousness, I'd just tell them we were not going to make it and wish them a great time. I'd probably not contribute to the tablet. Just remind them that the family just got her one and you don't feel like contributing to another one right now.

Be sure to send her a card and maybe get some flowers or something.
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Old 03-28-2013, 12:36 PM   #28
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Re: Help me fake a very serious illness

Quote:
Originally Posted by slimy72 View Post
Agreed here, bells palsy is not your best bet. But stomach bug or food poisening that could work. Usually the words explosive diarrhea is enough to stop anyone from asking more, so agree on that front too. But I might be just mean enough to forget and go shopping with dh and the baby hours away. Opps...
You know I think either the stomach stuff or the shopping is good. If stomach go into great detail!
Shopping I wouldn't answer the first call or two then answer and go oh I am sorry I forgot.
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Old 03-28-2013, 12:50 PM   #29
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Originally Posted by Only View Post
I'm local, I can fake mowing you over with my car. Fake blood entirely optional, but should you choose that route it's homemade with all natural red food coloring.
This is funny!
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Old 03-28-2013, 12:57 PM   #30
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I'm thinking migrane. The kind where you're vomiting, and can barely walk straight. Even dim lights make you're head pound, so there is no way you will Be able to tolerate the families rendition of "happy birthday" without curling up in agony, and possibly puking over the candles..

please forgive all typos due to auto correct's lack of mind reading abilities. :-
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