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Old 03-28-2013, 05:07 PM   #51
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I triple dog dare you! My grandmother was exactly like this. Her husband died when my mom was eight leaving her with eight kids. She had her mother raise them while she dated rich men and spent all their money on designer clothes while her children went without. Then, after her children were grown and gone, complained how no one ever called or came by or appreciated her. They were there all the time. Oh please!

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Old 03-28-2013, 06:46 PM   #52
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Pneumonia? Then you'd be bedridden and can't go near anyone?
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Old 03-28-2013, 07:59 PM   #53
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Re: Help me fake a very serious illness

I second the vote for lice!!

But when did it become required to give explicit details on illness? When did "I'm sick" become not enough information?! My step mil seems to think I want details on fils bowel movements and vomiting. Ido not. Really. "I'm sick" is plenty info for me!
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Old 03-28-2013, 08:43 PM   #54
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Re: Help me fake a very serious illness

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Originally Posted by Only View Post
I'm evil. My SIL recently insulted my child's name and called me stupid, so I told her she wasn't allowed at my Child With the Ugly Name's Birthday Party because I'm too stupid to spell her name correctly to address the invite, and to go busy herself with another cozy up in the hot tub with her neighbor's husband behind BIL's back. Oh snap! I was met with silence.

Go for the shock effect. I dare you. Just stand up in the middle of the party and announce "MIL you suck and I hope you're over priced tablet breaks in half on you tomorrow."

Now, everyone cheer on Emma and double dog then triple dog dare her in true Christmas Story fashion.
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fantastic idea but you could combine the lice story with this idea! What about a fuzzy teddy bear you find on clearance that obviously is for Valentines day. Hand it to her as your scratching your head and telling her how infested with lice everything in the house is.
You two are my new favorite people. I like both ideas very much.
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Old 03-28-2013, 09:11 PM   #55
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Re: Help me fake a very serious illness

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Please? and video it!



only if you fake run her over!

Or.....take impecac sneakily at the beginning of dinner and barf all over her table (sit next to her please) . Or change Wolfie's diaper on the table and be like, "what?"

And Only, I love you. I want you to video when you say these things to people (you SIL)
you, Jul.

Bahaha, you should meet my entire family. We aren't mean just to be mean but we don't mince words. My husband's (whiter than white) family is like "It's because she's part Spanish." Um, no, it's because you're dumb and someone needs to tell you this.
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Old 03-28-2013, 11:04 PM   #56
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Re: Help me fake a very serious illness

Does it have to be an illness? What about arranging a suspected prostitution raid right as they are cutting the cake? They could investigate your MIL for being a madam. Just think of how the family movies would be ,just as she is blowing out the candles they could break the door down. It would be very memorable. Or what about a bomb threat,oh the possibilities! By the way none of these are illegal at all!!!
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Old 03-28-2013, 11:06 PM   #57
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Re: Help me fake a very serious illness

Quote:
Originally Posted by Only View Post
I'm evil. My SIL recently insulted my child's name and called me stupid, so I told her she wasn't allowed at my Child With the Ugly Name's Birthday Party because I'm too stupid to spell her name correctly to address the invite, and to go busy herself with another cozy up in the hot tub with her neighbor's husband behind BIL's back. Oh snap! I was met with silence.

Go for the shock effect. I dare you. Just stand up in the middle of the party and announce "MIL you suck and I hope you're over priced tablet breaks in half on you tomorrow."

Now, everyone cheer on Emma and double dog then triple dog dare her in true Christmas Story fashion.
You, Emma and I must get together. We could start in SA and take over the world from there.
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Old 03-28-2013, 11:11 PM   #58
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Re: Help me fake a very serious illness

Ohhh dh suggested a seeping pustule. It even sounds good, you could just mention how it keeps leaking and weeping everywhere. Then let her know how excited you are to be the one to cut her a piece of cake!
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Old 03-29-2013, 12:54 AM   #59
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Re: Help me fake a very serious illness

Forget lice....scabies. Yuck! Anything highly contagious would do but there is something 'special' about being covered with bugs.
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Old 03-29-2013, 01:21 AM   #60
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Re: Help me fake a very serious illness

You DS mamas are too funny.
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