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Old 03-28-2013, 08:55 PM   #1
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Neighbors kid-what would you have done?

I love our neighbors and their kids (6 yo boy, 11 yo girl) and my 2.5 yo son loves to "play" with them. The problem is, the little boy is a real smart @ss. So today we were up there and he says a phrase I don't think is appropriate for my son to hear. I said "please watch what you say, he will copy you". Well it went from bad to worse with him ramping up the language but worse than that, when I asked him to stop he glared at me and said "no" and essentially the whole "you aren't my mom you can't make me" argument. He was very disrespectful and (as his sister put it) he was just plain being a butt.

His dad walked in a couple seconds later and asked what everyone was up to and I simple said "we were just having a discussion about watching our language and respecting other adults" and told him what happened. Of course the kid got in trouble and then refused to speak to me (ok fine whatever) and my son (who got sad).

I felt like I had to "tell on him" because my son needed to see some repercussions-I did not want to be walked all over in front of him. But I've felt Terrible all day.

How would you have handled it?

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Old 03-28-2013, 09:17 PM   #2
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Re: Neighbors kid-what would you have done?

The good 'ol fashion way with a big 'ol leather belt and bendin' him over my knee.

I am kidding. Sort of.

No, really, I would have "nicely" - you know the fake I am a mommy and I have to be nice to children nice asked him to please not talk like that. After the rudeness though, since the Dad asked I would've likely told him politely what was going on.

As a parent, I would like to know if my daughter was speaking inappropriately or being disrespectful to others so that I could address the issue.
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Old 03-28-2013, 09:20 PM   #3
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Re: Neighbors kid-what would you have done?

I would have done exactly as you did. Don't stress. IMHO, nothing remotely like that should be coming out of a 6 yo's mouth. My oldest is almost 2 and is getting very good at repeating things as well >< Secondly, no, you're not his mom, but he should respect you as an adult, which he obviously wasn't. If it was my child in the wrong, I would definitely want to know, so I could help correct it.
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Old 03-28-2013, 09:23 PM   #4
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Re: Neighbors kid-what would you have done?

I think you handled it very well.
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Old 03-28-2013, 09:28 PM   #5
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Re: Neighbors kid-what would you have done?

If it's my house we would have pulled out the, "Sweetie, in this house we don't xyz" and if it still persists, "I think it's time for you to go home." At their house, "I'm sorry hun, we don't talk like that around little kids." If it persists, "I'm sorry, but we have to stop playing now and leave, because it's not appropriate to be around this kind of language." while looking at said trouble maker. On the way out letting parents know why you are leaving earlier than usual in a nice way, "Oh little Jimmy wouldn't stop saying some inappropriate words in front of the baby, and I didn't want LO to repeat it later, have a good evening ."

ETA: In this instance, he knows he can't walk over you, or argue with you. You have effectively made him quit using bad language around the baby, because the baby left and he is being punished by removing his playmates. Whereas staying allowed him to punish you and your son by pouting and being an even bigger "just plain being a butt" and he received more attention for deteriorating behavior.
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Old 03-28-2013, 10:04 PM   #6
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Re: Neighbors kid-what would you have done?

I agree with the others, you handled it well. That child would think twice before trying to do it again.
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Old 03-28-2013, 10:07 PM   #7
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I think you handled it very well, and I'm glad the Dad did something about it.

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Old 03-28-2013, 10:46 PM   #8
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Re: Neighbors kid-what would you have done?

Good thinking on your side. The trouble with doing the right thing for kids is that it often makes the adult feel bad. I never understood that as a kid: the classic "It hurts me more than you" statement is true - and not only applicable to a spanking.
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Old 03-29-2013, 05:12 AM   #9
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Re: Neighbors kid-what would you have done?

Thanks I feel better knowing I was supposed to act like a mom

I did tell him that If he insisted on that language and attitude we would leave and he would not be allowed around our family (he loves to play basketball in the culdesac with my DH).
Our neighborhood is just one dead end street and we are all pretty close, and his mon texted me last night (she wasn't home at the time of the incident) and was really apologetic and was glad I said something to them.

Two years ago he used another neighbors key to get into their house and drill holes in their furniture with a power drill while they were away... I mean, he was only 5, but thats just his nature--a bit devilish. He's a good kid, he just needs a lot of guidance. A lot.
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Old 03-29-2013, 06:26 AM   #10
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Re: Neighbors kid-what would you have done?

You did the right thing. Sure you're not his mom but you have every right to tell him how to speak to your baby.

If he was my child I would want to know.
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