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Old 03-30-2013, 03:54 PM   #11
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Re: Christian mom's with a small family - question!

I am Christian and I am planning just 3. I've never really gotten into the 'full quiver' concept even though I have a friend with 8 and another with 9.

The thing is, if you hang around FQ sites, you're going to see FQ opinions.. same with oh.. cloth diaper sites or AP sites, etc. But that doesn't mean that it's the 'norm'. Shoot.. if I visit the 'Thrifty Moms' forum, I start feeling guilty for my spending habits. Any forum or site can make you feel like you should be doing things differently.

For me, as a Christian, I rely on what gives me and my soul peace. If God impressed upon me to have 12 children, well.. we'd be in our 50's when we were having half of those...so, I highly doubt that would happen.. BUT.. I make my decisions based on what the living God impresses upon me. Not based on Biblical mothers who were part of a world that had as many children as possible to assist working the family farms, etc. Not based on other people's current beliefs, not based on anything except what God tells me and my husband.

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Old 03-30-2013, 04:02 PM   #12
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Re: Christian mom's with a small family - question!

Dude, I'm a Mormon, living in UTAH and I have two kids. TALK ABOUT AN OUTCAST!

The number of children you have is a conversation you and your H have with God and no one else. If someone is giving you a hard time, you look them straight in the eye and tell them that their inquiry into your sexual health is inappropriate.
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Old 03-30-2013, 04:42 PM   #13
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Re: Christian mom's with a small family - question!

Christian and currently only have two children and have never planned, wanted, or felt called to have a large family.

My husband just finally agreed that next summer we will more seriously consider/start training for foster and/or adoption parents. After our second child, who was supposed to be our last, we both suddenly want one more (but I hate pregnancy, I don't want another csection and I've always, always felt called to foster and/or adopt). I've looked at the price of third row SUVs (I'd really consider and love to adopt a sibling group and would need to upgrade from a sedan and do NOT want to drive a van) and not only do they have horrible mpg, but they are SOOOO expensive, so we may never actually have a vehicle big enough to welcome foster children into our home, and go straight towards adopting a singleton and then perhaps revisit the issue of fostering/adoption again when we start to become empty nesters if that is what we feel called to do.
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Old 03-30-2013, 04:57 PM   #14
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We are Christian and have 9 kids. We love kids and that is why we have so many, not because we are Christian. In every church we have ever been a part of we are definitely the MINORITY, not majority. In fact I have never met another family IRL that has as many kids as I do.

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Old 03-30-2013, 05:13 PM   #15
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Re: Christian mom's with a small family - question!

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Dude, I'm a Mormon, living in UTAH and I have two kids. TALK ABOUT AN OUTCAST!

The number of children you have is a conversation you and your H have with God and no one else. If someone is giving you a hard time, you look them straight in the eye and tell them that their inquiry into your sexual health is inappropriate.
You feel my pain. That would be exactly what I mean by "very religeous area". Try being here with only one and into your mid 30's. It's rough. I'm so sick of everyone assuming we're newlyweds because we don't have 4 kids yet. We actually had a couple at church who was "shocked" that we were older than them because they have five kids and we have one. Since when is that an indicator of age?

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We are Christian and have 9 kids. We love kids and that is why we have so many, not because we are Christian. In every church we have ever been a part of we are definitely the MINORITY, not majority. In fact I have never met another family IRL that has as many kids as I do.

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I'm surprised you don't know any. I know lots. I know a family quite well with 14 and they are all biologically theirs. Many others with 10-11, 9,8,7 pretty darn common. I mean sure 4-6 is the most common here but there are lots bigger. I would have thought it would be similar in ID. But again, I feel like everyone is called to walk their own road. Some it's a big family some it's a small one. The challenge for me is accepting the road I've been called to walk.
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Old 03-30-2013, 05:27 PM   #16
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Re: Christian mom's with a small family - question!

Mama,
We're getting the opposite problem in our lives. Ppl have been so unaccepting of us having more kids and we are only expecting #3. I don't think that's "too many." Anyway, I feel that it is not about how many kids you have, but your motives behind why you do what you do. I personally feel that if you don't want to open you heart and life up to more kids for selfish reasons, there may be a problem. I also feel that not being responsible ab how many kids you have isn't a good thing either. Preventing children with potentially abortifacient BC is something I feel very strongly convicted ab, but I also don't think it wise to just let it handle itself....our bodies were designed by the Creator to conceive and birth children. There are others issues to consider as well, but if you are involving Him in your decision making then you are honoring Him.

We are expecting #3, we are open to more children, if God calls us to have more children. When ppl ask us if this is our last(and that is a frequent question) we always tell them "we take them one at a time." I don't really love being pregnant and this go 'round, I have had some issues. I don't know how many we will have. God is enlarging and changing our hearts and He provides well for our family, but DH is a teacher and I am a SAHM so I don't think God will call us to 7 or 8 kids, but who knows?

Hope that this is an encouraging message for you, but I don't know of any articles for you to read.
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Old 03-30-2013, 05:35 PM   #17
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Re: Christian mom's with a small family - question!

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You feel my pain. That would be exactly what I mean by "very religeous area". Try being here with only one and into your mid 30's. It's rough. I'm so sick of everyone assuming we're newlyweds because we don't have 4 kids yet. We actually had a couple at church who was "shocked" that we were older than them because they have five kids and we have one. Since when is that an indicator of age?

The challenge for me is accepting the road I've been called to walk.
So many ppl are judgemental when they don't know the whole story. I saw in your siggy that you have lost many children. I have to apologize for all the "religious" ppl who have hurt you by acting like they were more spiritual than you when they don't know it all. That must be such a painful situation to be in and I'm sorry. Praying God will bless you with a precious rainbow baby at the perfect time!
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Old 03-30-2013, 05:38 PM   #18
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Re: Christian mom's with a small family - question!

Thank you all! I have been praying that God will let me know what His Will for us is - and to let me be content with whatever He wants.

I sometimes wonder if I only want a large family because everyone around me has them - all of our neighbors are Amish (so they go non stop!), my sister's MIL had 12 and she is working on half a dozen. My DH does not want a large family, he has always wanted two - I guess I dont know what I always wanted, silly but I never thought about it until the last couple years.

I feel blessed to have one and another healthy baby on the way - neither have my congenital heart defect so that is wonderful news. I think I need to pray and stay off my favorite 'mom' blogs since they are all of women with many children. It is nice to know that there are other mom's on here that understand and have great insite
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Old 03-30-2013, 05:45 PM   #19
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Re: Christian mom's with a small family - question!

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So many ppl are judgemental when they don't know the whole story. I saw in your siggy that you have lost many children. I have to apologize for all the "religious" ppl who have hurt you by acting like they were more spiritual than you when they don't know it all. That must be such a painful situation to be in and I'm sorry. Praying God will bless you with a precious rainbow baby at the perfect time!
I completely agree! I think it is so hard for many of us - because there are soooo many people out there that need to keep their mouth shut I hear that I am not trusting God's will - He will make everything okay if I have children - since He stated they are a blessing. They are but does that mean keep having them with compete disregard of the heart surgerys I have had and the future ones we have already planned? People judge way too much - I should not be judge for not risking my life or considered 'prideful' by one mother because I think I should be raising the ones I have... I dont know - is it prideful? If it is His Will that I should die then I think there are many ways He could do it - I dont think I should go out looking for it! I dont know... Pray Pray Pray.
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Old 03-30-2013, 05:52 PM   #20
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God calls individuals to many different things; marriage, singlehood, missionary work, pastoral work, have large families, have small families, volunteer with the homeless, volunteer with women, etc.
This!!
We do have 5 kids but it was never our plan when we got married. We just felt that God was leading us that way, we thought we were done after each child. We are done for sure now (Lord willing!) and we are actually the only ones at church with more than 3. People joke that if we aren't there then 1/4 of the church is out.
I am a mom of 5 but that doesn't define the kind of person I am. I haven't found my "calling" yet or maybe I just don't see it, I dunno. My kids LOVE doing outreach and mission work, I know if I didn't have them them then there would be people that went unreached.
Having said that, not everyone is here to do the same thing. ICor 12 (I think) says we are many members making up the body of Christ (paraphrasing obviously). Don't let the fact that you have 1, 2 or however many children you have define what person you are, or most importantly what kind of Christian you are. Your relationship with Christ defines what kind of Christian you are.

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