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Old 03-30-2013, 07:03 PM   #21
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We have 2. I have a medical history that is not favorable for a large family. We cannot have any more children. I'd still say we are a good Christian family.

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Old 03-30-2013, 07:05 PM   #22
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Re: Christian mom's with a small family - question!

I've struggled with this. There was a time when I really felt like leaving that decision up to God was the right choice, and I still do feel that way even though DH had a vasectomy. I feel like perhaps we will have blessings withheld because we took matters into our own hands but I'm still pleased with the decision we made. DH and I are young and have 2 kids. One has a disease that may or may not be genetic so our future kids could have it and it's not the easiest thing to deal with. Our other child has some pretty serious eye issues and hasn't been the healthiest kid either. It seems kind of irresponsible to keep having kids when we can barely afford the medical bills for the 2 we've got. We've always been open to adoption and I'd like to adopt sooner rather than later. We just need to get some debt paid off and build up our savings first. I'm hoping we can add to our family via adoption in the next 2 years. I'm also hoping some of the medical challenges we face right now will have resolved by that time and I'll be less stressed!
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Old 03-30-2013, 07:16 PM   #23
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Re: Christian mom's with a small family - question!

I am Catholic. We have one DD. I have broken all the rules and it's a discussion with my Dr and Priest. For the sake of my health we are done. It is far too high risk the chance of having more. I am at peace with BC, not so at peace with being done. I have felt called to adopt for years. After 3 years of trying we have closed that door for now. We are trying to find peace with being done. It is likely later in life we will foster or adopt. But for now, I totally get that feeling of not being done. Now to accept it.
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Old 03-30-2013, 08:01 PM   #24
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I'll state right up front that I'm not religious, and a mom of a large family. I have 4 of my own (2 with my current SO) and a stepson neither my partner or I have met. We kinda hope to try one more time for a girl since my partner's got nothing but boys. So, really, we're not the kind of family you're looking for.

That being said...

I went to Catholic school when I was younger. Most of the families I went to school with were smaller. Most of them had one or two kids. One big family had three. Most of my friends (largely a Catholic group as well) only have one or two. I have one friend back home with 4, but she hadn't planned for that! Her littlest are beautiful twin boys! I don't know if she planned on 3, but who really plans on twins? I have a few friends here in Texas with large families, but most of them only have 2. Even at our old church was full of smaller families. I just think it's all in where you look.

You know, it's funny, having a large family I always here all the negative, overpopulation of the globe, economic hard times, etc. It sometimes feels like I'm a pariah for having a large family. It's easy to have hard feelings either way. You really just have comfidence that you know what is right in your life. When you're done, you're done. Clearly God would change your situation or help you find the drive to have a larger family if that's what you were meant to do. Clearly God wouldn't put you in a situation where doing what's best for your family means going against his will.
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Old 03-30-2013, 08:03 PM   #25
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Originally Posted by CntryMama
Thank you! Maybe my issues is more that I am not sure when I will ever feel done - I go back and forth.... Somedays hoping I will just get pregnant before I can say no without any doctor approval before hand... But does that back and forth ever go away for some people?! Probably not, who would not love a little baby handed off into their arms without the issues of pregnancy
I think as long as we are in child bearing years, the longing will be there.
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Old 03-30-2013, 08:24 PM   #26
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Re: Christian mom's with a small family - question!

Hugs mama! We are a Christian family with 3 kids. We really only intended 2, but DFS came back to us and we adopted him. We flirted with the idea of one more, but after fostering 2 more of Christmas break, I know we are done. I work 50 hours a week, and DS is a handful. We are at our breaking point.

My kids are here because I like kids, not because of my faith. Honestly, I only know a couple people with big families, and all of them are because they didn't use BC (for un-religious reasons), and the kiddos were not on purpose, or they were foster kids the parents chose to adopt. IRL, I don't know any quiver-full people.
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Old 03-30-2013, 08:32 PM   #27
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Re: Christian mom's with a small family - question!

um i have three kids and im cristian. i also considered getting my tubes tied because that's how many kids i wanted. never went through with it because i felt guilty. I don;t know why???
but i don't think a cristian woman's calling is to have a dozen kids. omg i wouldn't be able to handle so many, and personally i dont want any more kids and neither does my husband. we don't do birth control for personal reasons.

i feel like i earn God's approval by firstly accepting Jesus into my heart. once that is set, obviously being a good wife, mother and putting him first in anything i do.
im a breast feeding cosleeping laundry loving cloth diapering fluffy mail loving homeschooling mom of three adorable kids
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Old 03-30-2013, 08:49 PM   #28
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Re: Christian mom's with a small family - question!

Originally Posted by CntryMama View Post
Are there any forums or good links to articals about how you can still be a great christian mom without having a dozen kids? There are SO many women in the bible that had one child and even some that chose to work outside the home known talks about that - they just talk about how children are a blessing (which they are!) but risking my life for multiple children does not seem logical. I should be here for the ones He has blessed me with - if that is His Will. Everywhere I turn online there is another mom preaching about how they have a quiver full because that is God's Will - maybe for their life but that does not mean everyone. They are making me feel guilty, like I am supposed to earn God's approval by having a dozen kids.

Also, are there any Christian mom's on here that have a small family? Like two kids?! Why is this so hard to find...
WomenLivingWell has a good post on this. The amazing woman who's blog it is has 2 children and she writes about her 2 arrows (it's a great website as well!).

I have 4 and I am a Christian. I do not consider 4 kids a big family. I know what you mean about reading a lot of blogs that cater to women who have a lot of kids and preach universal things that our a PERSONAL conviction and not one that is given to every woman..
If it helps at all, I believe "leaving one's childbearing upto God" means that we are to SEEK HIS will for our lives and that is going to look different for every family. If we feel that HE is calling us to have more children then we are to do so. If we feel like He is directing our lives and guiding us to stop at 1 or 2 or 3, then we should do so! God gave YOU power, knowledge, and personal direction from the Holy Spirit to make decisions. In seeking God's will for your life, you ARE trusting God. It takes a lot of prayer and earnest searching sometimes to figure it out, other people seem to just "know" if they should have more or stop. I always thought I would have 7plus kids, but DH knows we need to be done at 4 kids. My human will does not always look like God's will and I need to conform mine to His. It's humbling, but blessings have come from doing God's will and not mine.
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Old 03-30-2013, 09:01 PM   #29
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Re: Christian mom's with a small family - question!

No where in the Bible are women commanded to have a large family. I believe we are to trust God with our families, including looking to Him for guidance on the size of our family.
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Old 03-30-2013, 09:09 PM   #30
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Re: Christian mom's with a small family - question!

Originally Posted by Blessed2005 View Post
So many ppl are judgemental when they don't know the whole story. I saw in your siggy that you have lost many children. I have to apologize for all the "religious" ppl who have hurt you by acting like they were more spiritual than you when they don't know it all. That must be such a painful situation to be in and I'm sorry. Praying God will bless you with a precious rainbow baby at the perfect time!
It's not some much a judgy thing, it's just the norm to get married, have kids - lots of them. So when people like us roll along - in our 30s with small kids, people just assume things because... well ... that's the way it is around here.

It does get old. YES I waited eight years after we got married to have kids. YES we're done at two. NO I'm not going to try for a girl.
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