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Old 04-01-2013, 10:41 AM   #1
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families with 6+ year age gap????

I posted in family planning too so sorry if you see this post 2X- I am looking for positive responses here please as I was bombarded with neg this weekend
I am due in Oct with #3 my youngest son will be 7 and oldest will be 10 soon to be 11 after the baby is born so there will be a big gap and I am starting to consume myself worrying about this child feeling like an only child...
prob our last kiddo...
DH is from a large 7 kiddo family and the ages are all over the place and they are a pretty tight bunch to say the least are any of you from a large gaped fam and close with siblings that are 6-7 years older or younger than you? Or do you have a scenerio like this in your own home maybe with any positive light?
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Old 04-01-2013, 10:47 AM   #2
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My sister is 10 years older then me and my brother is 8 years younger. There were certain ages where we werent close but now that we're all older we are closer. For example, when my sister was 18 and i was 8 we were not close because i was still a kid and she was off at college. But now that were 28 and 38 and both have kids we have a lot more in common.
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Old 04-01-2013, 10:47 AM   #3
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My brothers are 7 and 10 years older than me. As a child I often felt like an only, but I have an awesome relationship with my brothers now and I am actually closer to the oldest. I would not worry about the youngest and just enjoy having a new babe. It will be fine. I am the baby and I love most every minute of it.
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Old 04-01-2013, 10:57 AM   #4
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Re: families with 6+ year age gap????

I have 13 years between dd1 and dd2, and then the others are only 2 yrs apart. I will be perfectly honest, there ARE several negatives to the situation. My oldest does feel isolated, she was a bit jealous though she will never ever admit that and felt guilty that she was jealous, and I did have to start all over again.

But, it is what it is and there isn't a thing that can be done about it. So, worrying about and dwelling on negatives is completely pointless.

One positive is that because she is older she is extremely helpful and also is able to have an understanding of situations that a younger child might not. Like when my Dh fell down the stairs holding the 2 yr old, I was able to just hand over the baby with his bottle and handle the situation, with no problems, not something I could do withjust the 4 yr old around.
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Old 04-01-2013, 11:30 AM   #5
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Re: families with 6+ year age gap????

ODD was 7 when YDD was born. There is a lot less sibling rivalry between them than there was (is) between ODD and DS, who was almost 5 when the baby was born, and DS and YDD. I love the 7 year age gap.
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Old 04-01-2013, 11:32 AM   #6
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I love our age gaps. We have big ones and little ones. My oldest was 15 when our youngest was born. They are all very close. I can't wait to see what their relationships are like when my orders are in their 20s and my youngers are in the 10-15 range.
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Old 04-01-2013, 11:36 AM   #7
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Re: families with 6+ year age gap????

There is a 10 and up year gap between my older siblings and I, and a 2 year gap between my younger brother and myself. The older two I do not have a great relationship with (they both have a holier-than-thou mentality) but I get along really well with my little brother. There is a 6 year age gap between DS1 and DS2 and so far my oldest is loving being a big brother and I would be surprised if they did not get along in the upcoming years.
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Old 04-01-2013, 11:46 AM   #8
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Re: families with 6+ year age gap????

I am 12, 23 and 25 years older then my siblings. Yep you read that right. My sisters are 24, 11 and 9 years old.

Yes my sister who is 12 years younger then me and I both felt like an only child. However I don't see that as a bad thing. In some ways we were! We both had different moms and we are only children by our moms. Are we close now? Nope not at all. I haven't talked to her in 7 years because she refuses to talk to me. She also doesn't talk to our dad.

My sisters that are 23 and 25 years younger then me I am more in contact with. They are closer in age to my sons then they are to me but I talk to them when I can and visit when I can (which is not much admittedly). My older younger sister wants to visit me this summer and I told dad to send her out after the baby is born and I will show her a good time. Maybe we will bond then. But honestly at this point they are more like nieces (I would imagine) then sisters to me. I just like to scare people and say that I have a sister that is 9 years old, when I am 36.

Let me know if you have any specific questions. Odds are if it exists, I have experienced it. However I wouldn't trade any of them (even the one that will not talk to me) for anything in the world.
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Old 04-01-2013, 11:54 AM   #9
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Re: families with 6+ year age gap????

I love hearing these positive stories. If I have any more children it will most likely be in ten years or so. Glad to hear it should work out if I marry and want more children.
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Old 04-01-2013, 12:04 PM   #10
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We are about to have the same age gap between our children. The current youngest is 7 with the other two turning 10 and 11 soon after. Honestly, I'm looking forward to it as are my kids. I think there will be more/better bonding with her than if they were close to her age. They will experience her firsts with her, they will be able to watch her grow and remember it. That's just my thoughts on it. I don't see how she will feel like an only child? My kids are still kids and will be for a while.
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