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Old 04-01-2013, 12:05 PM   #11
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Re: families with 6+ year age gap????

my brother is 6 years older than me. We are pretty close, and have been very close at times. There are only 2 of us. When he went off to college I went into middle school. I was really bummed but and we weren't the closest then, we've always been there for each other. When I graduated college he moved into a apt specially so I could join him. We were actually very close after living together for awhile. We are less close now that I have a child, but I'm sure it will flop back eventually.

I'm not sure what there is to be so negative about. Every kid is different and gets a different life experience. Even if you youngest gets more of a "only child" life so what? That child will still have parents and siblings that love them and that is all that matters.

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Old 04-01-2013, 12:21 PM   #12
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Re: families with 6+ year age gap????

My girls are 5 years apart and for the most part it is wonderful. It is hard for things like when dd1 wants to go for a bike ride but dd2 can't keep up (she's 3) but also refuses the trailer because she wants to ride her bike etc..

But they love each other so much and dd1 is sooo patient and understanding. And oddly, they really seem to like playing with each other. dd2 looks up to her sister so is usually willing to go along with dd1's ideas which of course makes her happy too.

There has never been a second of sibling rivalry from the oldest. she was thrilled to get a baby sister.

As they get older I'm not sure what will happen. Their personalities are soooo different that I fear they might not be close because of that, not because of age.
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Old 04-01-2013, 02:25 PM   #13
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I'm 9 years older than my sister & we are great friends. I am 7 years older than one brother & 8 years older than my other brother and we get along great too. We had our issues growing up but that was more personality than age though. My dad & step-mom left me in charge a lot but with no power so it caused rifts.

That said, DS1 is 11, DS2 is 5 & DS3 is 16 mos. DS1 & Ds2 are oil & water and fight non-stop. DS1 has behavior issues though. DS2 & Ds3 are buddies & DS1 & DS3 are super tight so I think it really is personalities that determine, not age gaps.

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Old 04-01-2013, 03:06 PM   #14
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Re: families with 6+ year age gap????

I have a 35 y/o bro, 33 y/o twin sis, 24 y/o sis, 22 y/o bro, 19 y/o bro and almost 17 y/o sis. U got it older bro was graduating from HS same mo youngest sis was born. negative its really 2 different sets of siblings we don't know each other that well. positive we had siblings our own ages that we know well. But than again after us 3 older left the only time we all get together is Christmas and a rare bonfire.

I don't get 24y/o sis with 2 babies. i don't understand her. She has no sense of hospitality imo. I remember how it was to have 2 under 2 so I went over to help her make a few freezer meals, it took all day (she didn't help) and i wasn't offered anything for lunch. twin sister has had the same thing happen when she was asked to watch 2y/o while sis went to dr appt for baby.

17y/o (ok not til may) sister. We actually are employed at the same place, but we still aren't close.

As for the brothers well hmm yup the same. Except the older one who right now isn't talking to me and who's wife does not want our children playing together ever even before this shunning from bro (except when she can't find a sitter and has got to work and i'm her last option u got it next time I'm saying no)

My Dh's and his siblings are 2 years apart except for his sister who is a 5 year gap. All his siblings get along for the most part. But they take the time to develop relationships even now as adults. They get together often more than just for a holiday, its actually 3 holidays plus 2 camping weekends and birthday parties. The 10 cousins all get along well even though the age range is 17-8.
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Old 04-01-2013, 03:13 PM   #15
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Re: families with 6+ year age gap????

I have a 35 y/o bro, 33 y/o twin sis, 24 y/o sis, 22 y/o bro, 19 y/o bro and almost 17 y/o sis. U got it older bro was graduating from HS same mo youngest sis was born. negative its really 2 different sets of siblings we don't know each other that well. positive we had siblings our own ages that we know well. But than again after us 3 older left the only time we all get together is Christmas and a rare bonfire.

I don't get 24y/o sis with 2 babies. i don't understand her. She has no sense of hospitality imo. I remember how it was to have 2 under 2 so I went over to help her make a few freezer meals, it took all day (she didn't help) and i wasn't offered anything for lunch. twin sister has had the same thing happen when she was asked to watch 2y/o while sis went to dr appt for baby.

17y/o (ok not til may) sister. We actually are employed at the same place, but we still aren't close.

As for the brothers well hmm yup the same. Except the older one who right now isn't talking to me and who's wife does not want our children playing together ever even before this shunning from bro (except when she can't find a sitter and has got to work and i'm her last option u got it next time I'm saying no)

My Dh's and his siblings are 2 years apart except for his sister who is a 5 year gap. All his siblings get along for the most part. But they take the time to develop relationships even now as adults. They get together often more than just for a holiday, its actually 3 holidays plus 2 camping weekends and birthday parties. The 10 cousins all get along well even though the age range is 17-8.
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Old 04-01-2013, 04:31 PM   #16
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Re: families with 6+ year age gap????

my oldest 4 were: 16, 15, 13 and 11 when my 2 1/2 yr old was born. It's awesome. They adore him (and the 9 mo old who soon followed) and the littles worship them. I am sad that, even though they all still live at home, my now 19 yr old will transfer to an away college in a year and the other ones will soon follow. I am afraid they won't stay as close as they are now, but it's wonderful right now. DH and I don't go out and I wouldn't use babysitters, but when I have to get someone from practice or DH from work, I can leave the littles at home for a few minutes. I also think it's great seeing the older ones teach the little ones stuff and take pride in showing them things. They were all so close in age, they grew up "the same", so they were peers and not really learning from each other the way the 2 groups do now. My olders are learning nuturing and responsibility and the littles are learning to listen to others and emulate things they see them do.
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Old 04-01-2013, 04:50 PM   #17
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Re: families with 6+ year age gap????

My mom had infertility issues and they left everything up to God so they had my older sisters 2 years apart and then me 7 years later. The only reason Mom regretted having me is because by the time she was pregnant with me she had very poorly controlled blood pressure and we both nearly died during the birth. I had actually coded. I think but I am not sure she coded as well. She was pretty traumatized by the birth even 36 plus years later and will not talk about it so what info I have is very sketchy. There was some serious malpractice in the case as well and if she had pursued a lawsuit she could have ended the ob's career because their was gross neglect.

My sisters and I always have each others back however we were never super close however I have a closer relationship to them then they do to each other since personality wise the two just don't mesh at all. Once they were out of the house I really didn't miss them and I was pretty much an only child. By that age my parents were established in their careers so I had the financial benefits that my parents couldn't give the first two because there was less dependents and they were making more money.

Long story short the spacing has not been problematic for me. I do sometimes wonder if my sisters felt slighted because I really was able to do more things financially during my teen years but they have never held it against me.
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Old 04-01-2013, 05:20 PM   #18
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There was a 7 year gap between my brother & I. I did pretty much feel like an only child, from middle school on. My mother waited so long because my brother was a handful. He wound up moving out when he was in high school. We get along great & he is an awesome guy now, but we don't talk to often at all. Tw 14 hr gap between states also doesn't help! But if we lived closer I know we'd hang out more.
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Old 04-01-2013, 05:23 PM   #19
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Re: families with 6+ year age gap????

My older son will be 14 at the end of this month and my younger son turned 6 at the end of December.

It has been fine. The younger one says his brother is his best friend. Do they fuss at each other, sure. We don't allow them to hit one another, and they don't. The younger one is a character and drives the older one crazy--but that's his brother and they have a strong bond.

Our older son wanted a brother or sister. We found out we were expecting when he turned 7; and we say that our younger son was his Christmas present, since he was born on the 22 of Dec.
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Old 04-01-2013, 06:52 PM   #20
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Re: families with 6+ year age gap????

I was younger than my brother and sister by 7 and 10 years. Growing up it was like I was an only sibling at times. I didn't have any siblings that were my peers but I did look up to my big sister especially. Now that we are adults we have good relationships.

It isn't the same as having sibling that are the same age but there are some advantages. You can give the child one on one time and the older siblings can be a little helpful. My brother took my sledding and trick or treating when my mom couldn't. My sister would take me places and I looked up to her. I did annoy her at times or barge in and bug her. I admit at times it felt like I was an only child and I had lonely moments but it wasn't that bad. Now that we are adults we have good relationships. I became close with my sister when I was a teenager.

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