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Old 04-05-2013, 05:07 PM   #41
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I just don't understand how you can love someone and resent them at the same time?
I really get that not all women want children. My cousin has said since she was 16 that she never ever wanted kids because they are brats. She has two younger siblings and younger cousins so she was around them from infancy up to her age, she knew what they were like at different stages of life. She is 34 an still has no kids with no desire. I think that's awesome that she never "gave in" because she has a husband that feels the same and she has a great job that she loves.
It seems to me that she is blaming them for taking her life away. I choose to be a SAHM and I love it. I can totally see how some moms can't. It's stressful and the "me time" is negligible. The moms that WOH are still great moms because they can still enjoy life and career and come back as a refreshed mom to their kids. There was no reason for her to SAH. I get that she wanted to breastfeed because it was best, but after a year or when she weaned she could have gone back to work. I feel sorry that the kids were never told "I love you" by their mom.
I thought part of the feminist movement (I could be WAY off) was that women were takin control I life by working and making choices for themselves, which includes whether or not to have children. She seems to be contradicting herself a bit IMO.

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Old 04-05-2013, 08:13 PM   #42
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Re: Mom admits she regrets having children.

I think it's sad that she resents her kids, and says it took away her personal life. I personally believe that when you decide to have kids your life changes. Nothing gets taken away, it just changes.

However, I do believe there are many women who do not make good mothers and who do not want children. Nothing wrong with that, unless of course, they have children and give their children a miserable life because of it.
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Old 04-05-2013, 09:56 PM   #43
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Re: Mom admits she regrets having children.

I wonder if she would have felt differently if she had gone back to work. It don't think it was her children that made her life so not what she wanted but her ideals about how to raise them. yea, kids change things and you loose your freedom and all, but you can still do a lot if you want to and it's only for a few years if you have just two. Soon they can play by themselves or you can take them places with you, and it sounds like her husband did a lot of childcare so she did get alone time. I know not everyone is cut out to be a parent, and some parents are better parents by working outside of the home but I just can't imagine not bonding with your child. I guess it happens but if it happened to me I"d be doing everything in my power to figure out why and try to change it. You can do everything right but kids are sensitive and can feel if you resent them. That's why they always went to their dad. It kinda sounds to me like she has some social/relational disconnect where she does her duty but has no emotions. She didn't even seem to have any emotions writing it. She's all in her head but nothing in her heart. I'd be interested to know how her marriage was. Was she affectionate in that? Was she in love with her husband or was it more of a partnership/friendship where they got along well because he didn't bug her and she did her duty.
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Last edited by chandni3; 04-05-2013 at 10:01 PM.
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Old 04-07-2013, 12:45 PM   #44
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I bet her kids already know how she feels about being a mom. I'm sure it wasn't fun for them to read this article but it couldn't have been a shock. If she was willing to state publicly how she feels about being a mom then I doubt that she never said it at home, maybe while fighting with her husband.

My mom's mother was one who never wanted kids but had one to make her husband happy. My mom always knew and was very close to her dad. Grandma never said it outright but kids can tell if you want to be around them.
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