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Old 04-20-2013, 06:10 PM   #11
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That sounds like a miserable experience, but if you have a fever that high and baby is having issues already, it doesn't seem like a good idea to be with baby right now, hard as that may be. I am so sorry! Even if baby was healthy, I would worry about contact with her with a fever of 103.
I forgot about your fever when responding. Maybe they are concerned you will get baby sick?

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Old 04-20-2013, 07:29 PM   #12
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Re: Baby!.. and help needeed/vent...

Your fever could be due to the epidural. Your baby has already been exposed to anything you have. If you can walk and get out of bed to use the toilet, etc. You can walk to the nursery and be with your baby -- I would! I am sorry you are vulnerable and not being taken care of but mama you are going to need to advocate for yourself and your baby, it sounds like no one there is going to do it for you. Ask for a pump and try to pump every 2 to 3 hours for about 10 minutes to let your body know what is going on. You need hour baby close to you and your baby needs the same. (((((( hugs)))))) my first was on the nicu for nine days due to if antibiotics.
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Old 04-20-2013, 07:55 PM   #13
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mama! My son was in the nicu with possible fluid around his lungs. I wasn't allowed to hold him even with skin to skin until it was resolved. They were worries his lung could collapse. Perhaps some people think I was being walked over and should have put my foot down (as someone on ds- not in this group - pretty much said), but they are the experts and I knew nothing about how to treat a newborn with lung issues. They also wouldn't let him eat because it stressed him out (even via tube) and made his breathing worse.

I know you said the nursery was empty, but a fever would definitely have kept you out of the nursery here.

So many hugs mama! And I agree, pump pump pump!!!
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Old 04-20-2013, 08:15 PM   #14
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I also couldn't hold my NICU baby til she was 4 days old, but they were eager to get her skin to skin asap and I was allowed to sit with her and touch her. If they can give you a valid medical reason then I'd listen but I'd want that reason!
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Old 04-20-2013, 08:28 PM   #15
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I also couldn't hold my NICU baby til she was 4 days old, but they were eager to get her skin to skin asap and I was allowed to sit with her and touch her. If they can give you a valid medical reason then I'd listen but I'd want that reason!
Absolutely this! That's exactly what I meant to say and didn't take the time to reread what I wrote. I would definitely insist on reasons.
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Old 04-20-2013, 08:35 PM   #16
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Re: Baby!.. and help needeed/vent...

I'm so sorry you are going through this mama! I agree with the others. Get the medical staff together and if their reason isn't valid, tell them since you've already had contact with your baby, that you need to be with your baby right now. If they don't let u go for whatever "valid" reason they have, as your husband to do the skin to skin. Family needs to be with your baby as much as possible. I also agree to pump often! More than 4 hours. I"d pump every 2 hours to try to get my milk flowing.
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Old 04-20-2013, 08:50 PM   #17
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Re: Baby!.. and help needeed/vent...

Hugs mama... I wasn't allowed to nurse my baby til he was 2 days old because I had complications from my tubal surgery following his birth. I was so depressed too. I totally understand. The nurses were just feeding him formula and I totally felt uninvolved with his care. I was miserable. I pumped every three hours but got nothing out... Just a tad bit of moisture...but it worked... My milk came in when I got to have him back. Shortly after my surgery he was diagnosed with high risk jaundice and had to be in a blanket and under a light... Then I couldn't hold him either. Long story short...it had it bumps and wasn't what I pictured but 3 weeks out it's all small potatoes....just ask the nurses! One thing I learned is a majority of mothers just want to rest and recoup and leave the baby's care up to the nurses while they are recovering... Not all mothers are as involved as the general DS mama they might think you just need rest. Ask them if they say no then ask them when you can... Like what are the criteria... I was counting down the minutes til I could nurse/ see my little guy. Hang in there! Make sure you order lots of yogurt to counter act all those antibiotics
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Old 04-20-2013, 09:20 PM   #18
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Re: Baby!.. and help needeed/vent...

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Hugs mama... I wasn't allowed to nurse my baby til he was 2 days old because I had complications from my tubal surgery following his birth. I was so depressed too. I totally understand. The nurses were just feeding him formula and I totally felt uninvolved with his care. I was miserable. I pumped every three hours but got nothing out... Just a tad bit of moisture...but it worked... My milk came in when I got to have him back. Shortly after my surgery he was diagnosed with high risk jaundice and had to be in a blanket and under a light... Then I couldn't hold him either. Long story short...it had it bumps and wasn't what I pictured but 3 weeks out it's all small potatoes....just ask the nurses! One thing I learned is a majority of mothers just want to rest and recoup and leave the baby's care up to the nurses while they are recovering... Not all mothers are as involved as the general DS mama they might think you just need rest. Ask them if they say no then ask them when you can... Like what are the criteria... I was counting down the minutes til I could nurse/ see my little guy. Hang in there! Make sure you order lots of yogurt to counter act all those antibiotics
Yes, some moms can relax and enjoy their time to sleep, etc., but for me I was anxious and scared and I felt empty -- everything felt wrong. I was discharged on day 2 and that was even worse.

It is possible your hospital isn't very baby-friendly and has archaic, non-evidence-based protocols. One way to approach this is not to ask, "Can I hold/be with my baby?" but to ask, "Is there a reason I can't be with my baby?" Then it is on them to give you an answer versus just a simple yes or no.
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Old 04-21-2013, 07:08 AM   #19
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Re: Baby!.. and help needeed/vent...

First off - congrats on the birth of your baby girl!

I am so sorry this is all happening, though. I can't imagine dealing with things like that after having my baby

I would be demanding answers:
-why am I not allowed in the NICU?
-why am I not allowed to do skin-to-skin? (it's highly advised at our hospital, posters all over the place talking about the benefits)
-why are you wanting to give baby antibiotics? has any bloodwork come back positive for infections?
-why am I not allowed to breastfeed baby?

If you are not comfortable demanding, not comfortable with the possible conflict (which I totally understand, as I would be just in tears myself!) talk to your DH and have him step in for you. Not by begging the pedi, but by telling them what you and he want done and are going to do - tell them outright what you want, and if they say no to anything, demand a reason/explanation.
Though baby is in the NICU, though there's a fever/possible infection involved, you are still her parents and should be involved in the decisions and in her care.

Because of the fever in baby, and the fever in you, I would probably opt for the antibiotics for her - as well as testing to see what exactly she's trying to fight off. I would maybe start the bunch of meds myself, but would be having them test me to narrow it down - them finding out what's causing your fever (if there is anything causing it other than the birth stuff) will help them know what meds are best to treat her.
I can only imagine how difficult a decision that would be, as I know baby would have to be in the hospital for the duration of the meds, but a fever/infection in a newborn isn't something to mess around with, kwim?

If you are able to get up and move around relatively comfortably, I don't see why you wouldn't be allowed to visit her. Although your own fever may be playing a role in their decisions there? If so, after you are on meds for a couple doses, especially with no other babies in the NICU, I don't see why you wouldn't be able to be there.
If baby is handling skin-to-skin and breastfeeding fine - not having heartrate or breathing issues while being held - then doing one or both of these things is going to be a positive thing for both of you! They can't know how she'll react unless they allow you to try it, though, so demanding at least the attempt may be needed.

If she's not able to tolerate nursing, I would definitely start pumping. Every 4 hours seems too long (I haven't pumped, personally, but from everything I've read/heard) - I would try for every 2-3 hours (unfortunately, around the clock), for a good 10-15 mins. Even if you're not getting any colostrum out, it's still going to stimulate your breasts to bring that milk in. If you are able to get some colostrum/milk, have them at least tube feed it to baby - she needs to get that, it's so good for their bodies!

It will be a fight to prevent thrush for you and her both Thrush is so terrible.
I would start taking probiotics myself (though it may be a pain to time with antibiotics, it's worth it if it can be scheduled - with DS3 I had a "strict schedule" for myself for a week while on antibiotics that had to be timed with food/empty stomach, and probiotics which had to be timed with the antibiotics!). I would also get some APNO (all purpose nipple ointment) to have on hand - at the first sign of any twinges in the nipples or breasts I would start using it.

mama, and many for you and your sweet babe.
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Old 04-21-2013, 10:22 AM   #20
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Re: Baby!.. and help needeed/vent...

Hugs for you, mama. It's a tough situation for sure.

Definitely start pumping even if they won't give it to her. Have someone take it home for you if you want, but I might dump it because of all the ABX in your system. You want to get the milk flowing, though.

I would certainly want answers as to why you can't see her. I wasn't allowed to see my little man because his breath rate was elevated... (Isn't skin-to-skin supposed to regulate that???) You should at least be able to sit by her side. It sucks, but the better you seem to listen to the staff and her doctors, the sooner she'll get out of there. Just ask a lot of questions and be polite. If you start to argue, you will just piss them off. The nurses are almost always on your side, talk to them, they surely have seen similar situations and can give you some insight as to how things will progress.
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