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Old 05-16-2013, 11:31 AM   #1
mel j
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Time for each other

How do you (specifically) find time for each other with toddlers who constantly need/want your attention?

Just looking for ideas here... by the time our LO's are finally asleep we're usually exhausted. We talk to each other throughout the day when we're home and do many things together. So we do have that, at least.

Sadly, we don't have anyone we know/trust well enough who lives close enough to babysit three little ones, so that option isn't exactly feasible.


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Old 05-16-2013, 11:46 AM   #2
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Coordinate naps and spend time then. We utilize family as babysitters. We both work so we'll go to lunch together and exchange flirty texts. If you're up before them shower together. Let them play in the yard while sitting in lawn chairs and chatting. How old are the LOs? Find a babysitter you trust and go out. Seriously. Its worth it! Every once in awhile we'll take a personal day from work together and leave them in daycare too.
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Old 05-16-2013, 11:53 AM   #3
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Re: Time for each other

Our children are scheduled so we have naptime daily though DH is only home on the weekends and ours are in bed by 8 every night so we have a few hours after they are asleep together. We also do "couch time" here, where mom and dad take about 15 minutes to sit together and plan the evening and catch up once he gets home from work. Our children have quiet reading or puzzle time, each in separate location, during that so there are no disruptions but they are safe and supervised.
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Old 05-16-2013, 11:59 AM   #4
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We have crazy schedules and it is hard for us to spend a lot of time together! We don't use a babysitter unless it is family. DH works shift work so he constantly is on a different schedule and during the summer he works a second job. I go to school too. We try to take one night a week we are both home and as soon as we get the kids to sleep, we snuggle in bed and watch a movie. If we are both up before any kids we shower together. Sometimes it is really rough because as soon as one of us gets home the other one heads out the door. I just remind myself that once I finish school it will be a lot less crazy.
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Old 05-16-2013, 12:06 PM   #5
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Re: Time for each other

After DD's bedtime is pretty much our most reliable "us" time. We'll either be working together on whatever household chores still need to be done and when its all done, we sit and watch TV together, catch up on our days, talk about stuff we need to collaborate on, etc.

We didn't have this until recently but DDs gymnastics center does PNO every 6 weeks or so and we take advantage of that. And when family is in town we try to make sure we schedule a date night during that time.
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Old 05-16-2013, 12:20 PM   #6
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Date night!!!! I can't imagine not having it the past 9 years. We have it at least once per month, but usually twice a month.

We also don't live near any family so in all 3 different states and 4 different cities in the last 9 years we sought out neighborhood sitters. The sitters ages ranged between 13-19. 14 year olds are a great age!

You can find sitters and make it happen. It is amazing what a couple of hours to yourselves does for you, especially being able to sit and eat dinner, have a nice uninterrupted conversation with dh and not have to cut up anyone else's food!
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Old 05-16-2013, 12:43 PM   #7
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Re: Time for each other

We have our time after kids' bed time. Once the kids go to bed, it's very rare that either of us will do something like house work.

We also have a few baby sitters that we utilize for date night. We used a college age one when the littles were really small and in diapers. Once our youngest turned 2.5 we used a younger teen. She's coming over tonight to sit all 3 while DH and I attend a childbirth class.

ETA: Sitters are just something that I have found are a necessity. It's good to have an emergency back up if something comes up. If one of the children was in a situation (health or abuse) that warranted both parents to be with just that one child, the others would need someone to look after them. Or if something happened while one spouse was out of town...
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Last edited by mcpforever; 05-16-2013 at 12:45 PM.
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Old 05-16-2013, 12:55 PM   #8
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Re: Time for each other

DS goes to bed relatively early so we generally have at least an hour but usually two to catch up after he goes to bed.

If you do not have early to sleep kids, can you guys get up 30 minutes earlier and have that time to start your day?

Do you have any family nearby that would be willing to babysit for even an hour once a month? Just a little recharge would probably make a HUGE difference.
Married since 2002, Mama to DS1 since 03/2010 and DS2 since 06/2013. We BF, ERF, and CD. Always missing our little angels: 05/09 and 09/12.
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Old 05-16-2013, 12:56 PM   #9
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Re: Time for each other

How old are your kids?
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Old 05-16-2013, 01:06 PM   #10
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Hugs mama!! No real advice. We don't trust anyone with our kids and don't have nearby family. The 18 month old still doesn't sleep without me. I keep telling myself that once he gets older well have plenty of time. Dh and I don't enjoy going out to eat, so our alone time is usually whichever nights the baby decides to sleep longer than 30 minuets and I try to brew a late night coffee to help me stay up. (Wine works too!) ;-)
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