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Old 05-17-2013, 07:28 AM   #1
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He's 5 and very defiant. Towards the end of his t-ball game he started throwing grass at other kids. Earlier he was throwing rocks. He's not trying to be malicious, he thinks its funny and "just playing". He was told several times to stop and if he didn't stop he'd have to come sit next to me instead of with his team. He continued so I went over and told him to come with me. He started screaming/yelling "no" and "I'll stop throwing grass" etc. I told him it was too late, he chose not to listen. He wouldn't come sit with me and started running away and screaming louder, so I told him we were leaving, which made it worse. I ended up having to chase him around, in front of 50 people, very pregnant, dripping sweat and dropping stuff everywhere. Everyone was staring at us like we were a freak show. It was beyond frustrating and I cried when we got to the car. So, we left early and ds is punished today. He's a very smart boy but I don't know how to deal with his defiance and screaming. Did I do the right thing to leave?

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Old 05-17-2013, 07:37 AM   #2
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Re: I'm at my wits end with ds....

I have a nearly 4 year old who is EXACTLY the same. I could have made this post myself. You did the right thing. Once it is too late, that is it. If they cannot listen there must be consequences. You did good Momma!
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Old 05-17-2013, 07:41 AM   #3
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Re: I'm at my wits end with ds....

i had another son like that and I always punished him. he even pulled something horrible on his birthday at a party w had with a ton of kids. it wasnt acceptible behavior and I got physically hurt which made me snap as he did it on purpose to test me.
my ex and his mother just let him do whatever he wanted.
i pulled that kid out of there kicking and screaming during this party while I took my jerk of a kid home to his room.
I keep doing this cause he has no rules at him dad's. hopefully you dont have to deal with that but all I can say is, other moms have this too. its drives us crazy and makes us really mad. keep to your discipline so he knows you will never waiver. and take away privileges.
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Old 05-17-2013, 08:18 AM   #4
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Re: I'm at my wits end with ds....

That is so hard. Because once you have to chase him or catch him, you've already lost, and he totally won that battle. In public no less.

I'm not sure how to avoid the chase though. I'll have to give that some thought, and come back and edit.
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Old 05-17-2013, 08:37 AM   #5
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Next time you go to get him because he's not listening, casually reach down and grab his hand while talking. Then you've got him if he tried to bolt.
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Old 05-17-2013, 08:40 AM   #6
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Next time you go to get him because he's not listening, casually reach down and grab his hand while talking. Then you've got him if he tried to bolt.
I go in slowly, like a predator, lol! He will either pull away (he's strong and fast!) or start screaming that I'm hurting him, which is more embarrassing than having to chase him.

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Old 05-17-2013, 08:42 AM   #7
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I would have left too. But I wouldn't have chased him. Let him run and just keep an eye on him. That way, he's the one that looks silly, not mommy too. Then when he comes back (he will eventually) grab him. I do it with my 3.5 and 2yo; just cross my arms and wait. I think mine think its more of a game if I do chase them.

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Old 05-17-2013, 08:48 AM   #8
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I go in slowly, like a predator, lol! He will either pull away (he's strong and fast!) or start screaming that I'm hurting him, which is more embarrassing than having to chase him.

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Hold strong. Be sure to hold in a spot that you won't really hurt his arm but that he can control the pain by pulling (or not).

I have a limit tester and I have to say, do not EVER warn more than once. Give a command and expect obedience or be willing to follow through the first time. If you pose your command like a question (Jimmy, stand up and watch the ball okay? Jimmy, can you pick up the books while I trade the laundry over?) then you are making it an option and you need to accept that no is a viable answer and shouldn't be punished. Be direct and follow through.

Have you considered the poker chip home reward system? We were using it per our therapist and its working beautifully. I will see if I can find a link to how it works. I love it because its portable, unlike a sticker chart or the like.
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Old 05-17-2013, 08:49 AM   #9
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Re: I'm at my wits end with ds....

Quote:
Originally Posted by SewGreenBaby View Post
I go in slowly, like a predator, lol! He will either pull away (he's strong and fast!) or start screaming that I'm hurting him, which is more embarrassing than having to chase him.

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I have one who does this, holding his hand "You're hurting me!!" Carrying him out "OWWW, that hurts"

I just say (louder than normal, for spectators) "I am NOT hurting you, I am making you listen, so shush"

Then my grand exit.

Its tough being a parent
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Old 05-17-2013, 09:15 AM   #10
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That's my almost 5 year old. Except the last public display was with my stbxh. DS took off and stbxh had to chase him. Once caught he kept screaming that he was hurting him. He worked himself free while his dad was unlocking the car and promptly rolled into the middle of the street.

I think you did what you could. It's incredibly embarrassing. I would have cried too.

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