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Old 05-26-2013, 02:12 PM   #481
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Re: Second Wives Club

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I hate text speak. Don't know how to do it. I do have time to type inbetween inturruptions. However I am generally not expected to retain most of this. That doesn't mean I will retain most of what I am trying to learn with constant interruptions. In fact I rarely can remember what side of an arguement someone on here is on simply because it just doesn't stick. In 2 days I will not know or which side of this you are on or really if you even posted here. On here that just doesn't really matter. Schooling, however, has to stick or it is just a waste of time. Someday, believe it or not, I would absolutely love to go back to school. That day is just not today. When my youngest is older perhaps. Right now though it just isn't possible. Most of those I worked with in fast food have now moved on. It isn't the same as when in school and all are doing the same as you are doing.

As for responding as though it was directed at me, well you did quote me in the part I responded to.
Ok, you win. There is zero possible way for you to do anything other than take care of your kids right now. The time you spend on DS is not indicative of time that could be used in any other way, should you choose to. You have no way at all in this universe to do something that might even be slightly related to an outside job--no time, energy, retention, books to read, relationships to foster, zip for anything that connects to the workforce.

Good luck! Hopefully someone else read something they are able to use if they see value in maintaining a connection to the other working world while they are doing the very important work of raising kids--I know the steps I took were vital in allowing me to easily transition back when it was time to work outside the home once again.

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Old 05-26-2013, 02:19 PM   #482
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Re: Second Wives Club

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Originally Posted by qsefthuko View Post
I hate text speak. Don't know how to do it. I do have time to type inbetween inturruptions. However I am generally not expected to retain most of this. That doesn't mean I will retain most of what I am trying to learn with constant interruptions. In fact I rarely can remember what side of an arguement someone on here is on simply because it just doesn't stick. In 2 days I will not know or which side of this you are on or really if you even posted here. On here that just doesn't really matter. Schooling, however, has to stick or it is just a waste of time. Someday, believe it or not, I would absolutely love to go back to school. That day is just not today. When my youngest is older perhaps. Right now though it just isn't possible. Most of those I worked with in fast food have now moved on. It isn't the same as when in school and all are doing the same as you are doing.

As for responding as though it was directed at me, well you did quote me in the part I responded to.

She is basically dissing you for spending a lot of time on DS as per her previous and subsequent post. Saying you "should" be furthering your career/education instead of this. I suspect like many moms here this is one of your only outlets and interactions so don't let her bother you.

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Ok, you win. There is zero possible way for you to do anything other than take care of your kids right now. The time you spend on DS is not indicative of time that could be used in any other way, should you choose to. You have no way at all in this universe to do something that might even be slightly related to an outside job--no time, energy, retention, books to read, relationships to foster, zip for anything that connects to the workforce.

Good luck! Hopefully someone else read something they are able to use if they see value in maintaining a connection to the other working world while they are doing the very important work of raising kids--I know the steps I took were vital in allowing me to easily transition back when it was time to work outside the home once again.

Wow......you seriously just need to back off. She doesn't want to do this at this particular time. Who knows.....maybe she has a needy baby that takes up a lot of time nursing 10 times a day. Maybe she is mentally exhausted from that and her other kids. You are now giving her a hard time for spending time on DS. You did not read her previous posts obviously. She said she would love to go back to the workforce in the future. Just not right now.


Networking and keeping in touch works for some people( I keep in touch with select previous co workers). But some coworkers you do NOT want to keep in touch with. From her previous comments of work experience I gather that it's not worth it to keep in touch with SOME of those people. I also believe she mentioned she keeps in touch with others.....although that could be someone else


Maybe in one year she might say....hmmm, I'd really like to do xyz class.....but as she said before....not right now.........
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Old 05-26-2013, 02:24 PM   #483
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Re: Second Wives Club

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She is basically dissing you for spending a lot of time on DS as per her previous and subsequent post. Saying you "should" be furthering your career/education instead of this. I suspect like many moms here this is one of your only outlets and interactions so don't let her bother you.




Wow......you seriously just need to back off. She doesn't want to do this at this particular time. Who knows.....maybe she has a needy baby that takes up a lot of time nursing 10 times a day. Maybe she is mentally exhausted from that and her other kids. You are now giving her a hard time for spending time on DS. You did not read her previous posts obviously. She said she would love to go back to the workforce in the future. Just not right now.


Networking and keeping in touch works for some people( I keep in touch with select previous co workers). But some coworkers you do NOT want to keep in touch with. From her previous comments of work experience I gather that it's not worth it to keep in touch with SOME of those people. I also believe she mentioned she keeps in touch with others.....although that could be someone else


Maybe in one year she might say....hmmm, I'd really like to do xyz class.....but as she said before....not right now.........
I have no stake in what she does. But when someone repeatedly says they CAN'T do something, instead of staying they DON'T WANT to do something, the inclination (at least for me) is to try to show them ways they could do said thing.

It's a teacher thing. Had she said, "I don't have any interest in ways I could keep my options open," I'd have moved right on by.
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Old 05-26-2013, 02:37 PM   #484
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I have no stake in what she does. But when someone repeatedly says they CAN'T do something, instead of staying they DON'T WANT to do something, the inclination (at least for me) is to try to show them ways they could do said thing.

It's a teacher thing. Had she said, "I don't have any interest in ways I could keep my options open," I'd have moved right on by.
At this point you are picking on her IMO. Great teacher



She said she does not want to RIGHT NOW in her previous post. She is focused on her kids RIGHT NOW. She wants to give all to her kids RIGHT NOW. I'd imagine when she is done with this phase then she will move onto the next phase.

So how about.........maybe when your baby(that you keep talking about nursing in case you missed it) is a bit older you could look into some online classes.
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Old 05-26-2013, 02:39 PM   #485
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Mama I think you are not understanding at all. I have already discussed with my husband what I might be able to do to improve my ability to get a job. The assumption from one poster though was that all people regardless can do something right now. No not all of us can. Not right now. Others have decided they do not need to. That is their choice. Only they can decide if it is a bad decision for them and their familiis. Really to tell us all we have to do is to volunteer and [B]do lunch[/B] with co workers is a comment totally out of touch with the day to day reality of life for so many.


do lunch was of her own bolding....


Timing is everything as another pp mentioned. I suspect that she would want to give her ALL to her young kids right now. Rather than be doing classes, work, kids and probably a half assed job at some or all of those. Then when she is done with the more time consuming part of that.....she can move on and give it her all elsewhere. Many people fail school because of the demands at home.......there is such a thing as waiting for a better time so you can do it right.
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Old 05-26-2013, 02:44 PM   #486
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At this point you are picking on her IMO. Great teacher



She said she does not want to RIGHT NOW in her previous post. She is focused on her kids RIGHT NOW. She wants to give all to her kids RIGHT NOW. I'd imagine when she is done with this phase then she will move onto the next phase.

So how about.........maybe when your baby(that you keep talking about nursing in case you missed it) is a bit older you could look into some online classes.
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Old 05-26-2013, 02:53 PM   #487
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Ok, you win. There is zero possible way for you to do anything other than take care of your kids right now. The time you spend on DS is not indicative of time that could be used in any other way, should you choose to. You have no way at all in this universe to do something that might even be slightly related to an outside job--no time, energy, retention, books to read, relationships to foster, zip for anything that connects to the workforce.

Good luck! Hopefully someone else read something they are able to use if they see value in maintaining a connection to the other working world while they are doing the very important work of raising kids--I know the steps I took were vital in allowing me to easily transition back when it was time to work outside the home once again.
This is so uncalled for, rude and totally not helpful. How dare you be so jusgemental and condescending. Being on a social board takes a lot less concentration than taking online classes. some ppl absolutely cannot retain knowledge via online classes. It is actually a very small number of ppl above age 30 because they never had to learn that way.

back off!

Eta add that some ppl just dont have the social skills,.time or energy to take away from their family to do things just like you.

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Old 05-26-2013, 02:56 PM   #488
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Re: Second Wives Club

I'm actually so disappointed in the attitude of "some" wohm . I honestly didn't know this attitude existed. Luckily I'm secure in myself and know I'm doing what's right for my family. Hmmmm......do I need to be suspect of wohm from now on and their view on SAHM. I'm seriously shocked that it seems many of you think "it's not good enough".
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Old 05-26-2013, 03:11 PM   #489
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I'm actually so disappointed in the attitude of "some" wohm . I honestly didn't know this attitude existed. Luckily I'm secure in myself and know I'm doing what's right for my family. Hmmmm......do I need to be suspect of wohm from now on and their view on SAHM. I'm seriously shocked that it seems many of you think "it's not good enough".
Yes, unfortunately some do feel this way.

I've encountered acquaintances on facebook who have said things like, "I wish I was rich so I could stay home and just play with my kid(s) all day." Because it's so easy, and everyone who does it is rich. I think things like that (which I've heard multiple times) are sometimes just said because someone is sick of working or miss their kids or whatever. But sometimes it does come off in a snarky way. I also know a few people that "can't" stay home but most likely could if they cut back on some things and lived a bit more modestly.

That said, I know some WOHMs that have felt judged by SAHMs, or by other people. My old coworker was almost in tears one day when someone told another woman (who had quit there a few years prior to stay home with their kids) how nice it was that she was staying home "instead of having someone else raise your kids."

The mommy wars are ugly. No matter what you do, someone will think you are wrong. That's why I truly just do my best to just remember to focus on myself and my family, but people can be very rude or obnoxious or hurtful (whether they intend to or not).
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Old 05-26-2013, 03:19 PM   #490
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Yes, unfortunately some do feel this way.

I've encountered acquaintances on facebook who have said things like, "I wish I was rich so I could stay home and just play with my kid(s) all day." Because it's so easy, and everyone who does it is rich. I think things like that (which I've heard multiple times) are sometimes just said because someone is sick of working or whatever. But sometimes it does come off in a snarky way. I also know a few people that "can't" stay home but most likely could if they cut back on some things and lived a bit more modestly.

That said, I know some WOHMs that have felt judged by SAHMs, or by other people. My old coworker was almost in tears one day when someone told another woman (who had quit there a few years prior to stay home with their kids) how nice it was that she was staying home "instead of having someone else raise your kids."

The mommy wars are ugly. No matter what you do, someone will think you are wrong. That's why I truly just do my best to just remember to focus on myself and my family, but people can be very rude or obnoxious or hurtful (whether they intend to or not).
Yep. I have, my views. My view for me is that I didn't have babies, to put them in day care at six-twelve weeks of age. That's me. I am an advocate for our country finding a way to allow at.least one parent stay home for the first year of a childs life . That's my personal opinion but what is good for me may not good for another and I'm old enough to understand that and rejoice in their successes.
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