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Old 07-09-2013, 03:51 PM   #21
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Re: WHAT DO I DO!? so frustrating!

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Originally Posted by mmmom View Post
Let them have input on the schedule that way if they say they don't want to you can remind them it was their choice.

I would schedule a "quiet time". Where everyone is in their own area, maybe for the 5+6 year old one can bring 1-2 quiet activities to the dining room table ( i would alternate weeks on who stays in the room)
Then for 15,30 or maybe even 60 minutes everyone stats in their own area doing their own thing. This gives you a break and them a break from each other.
So you have an electronic game systems? Maybe they each get 30mins/day just to play with them alone too
I have a 6+7 year old and I live what you are talking about but not all day as I am at work. I don't even allow my children to brush their teeth in the same bathroom because it was just fighting.

I know this is all easier said than done especially with a 2 month old. The way I look at things is if it work for one day that is one day and maybe you have to find something different for the next day but one day is worth it.
we don't have game systems. i mean, we do, but they don't play them. it got to the point that no matter how long they played, they would throw a fit when it was time to get off. so i cut them out of the equation all together.

and yes, brushing teeth. that doesn't happen... ever. i mean, them doing it together. they each get 5 minutes in the bathroom. there is a timer on our light, so they know that when the light goes out, their time is up.

i'm going to have to write up some sort of schedule tonight and see what i can do. they all light animal planet, so maybe add 1 hour of that in after lunch so they can relax, let food digest, and i can have time to eat my lunch!

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Old 07-09-2013, 05:19 PM   #22
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Re: WHAT DO I DO!? so frustrating!

My middle girls went through a phase like that. I made a rule that any problem I had to get involved in would result in both being punished. They started working things out between themselves.
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Old 07-09-2013, 05:27 PM   #23
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Re: WHAT DO I DO!? so frustrating!

It sounds like this is really hard! I am sorry your little guys are having such a rough time getting along. Hang in there,!
I hate going outside when it's hot, but I think its necessary for the little ones. We do early morning walks/runs/park play. Sometimes, if they are particularly cranky that day, we do a late evening lightning bug hunt. They basically just run through the yard for 45 minutes before bath time. We also do a special project each day. Sometimes it's a fort, or making play dough, baking or painting with water or whatever. If anyone fusses, musses or bothers another for whatever reason they are finished! No excuses. It's been working pretty well for three weeks. Well see how the rest of the summer goes.
Eta: if you can go through the day with being corrected less than two times you get a very small reward (served first at dessert, extra song at bedtime, extra book at bedtime, choice of e next day's activity to name a few or something along those lines).
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Old 07-09-2013, 05:50 PM   #24
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Old 07-09-2013, 06:28 PM   #25
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My 2 & 4 year old boys already do this. I've started telling then they cannot play together when they start! I also know that they just CANNOT so still indoors. Even when it's 93 we get outside. It's disgustingly hot- so I try to do it early in the AM or evening or find a very shaded area.
I'm no sure what boys your age would like but there are lots of cool science experiments for cheap! Look on Pinterest, things like vinegar & baking soda explosions are cheap, or making your own gal/flubber.
Have you looked for websites with free things to do in your area? We even have a mall with a splash pad here. Could you do a sprinkler in the front yard? Freeze some big plastic containers of water with toys in them and have them hammer the toys out? Picnic breakfast maybe? I've had a 2 month old out in 90+ degree weather. I nursed frequently and kept him in the shade and if I felt he was overheated I took him to the car and turned the air on for a bit. It IS a pain and you want baby safe. But I'm willing to get your boys are just stir crazy adds to the feeling that you are just busy with newbie and aren't able (or probably to their minds eye) willing to do things with them.
Could you try goodwill for some board games or new toys? Give them some mind of incentive reward for good behavior?
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Old 07-09-2013, 06:39 PM   #26
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Re: WHAT DO I DO!? so frustrating!

okay, so how does this look to you guys?

7:30am - wake up; breakfast
8:00 to 8:30am - tv time (probably wildman, animal planet show)
8:30 to 10:00am - outside time
10:00 to 10:30 - snack time; have them help
10;30 to 11:00 - chores; laundry, dishes, room/livingroom cleanup
11:00 to 12:00 - outside time
12:00 - 12:15 - wash up
12:15 to 1:00 - lunch; clean up
1:00 to 2:00 - tv time
2:00 to 3:00 - crafts; drawing; reading
3:00 to 4:00 - alone time/rest
4:30 to 5:00 - prep dinner/learn one cooking utencil
5:00 to 5:30 - play quietly, i cook
5:30 to 6:00 - eat dinner
6:00 to 6:30 - baths/showers
6:30 to 7:30 - tv/family time
7:30 to 8:30 - quiet room reading
8:30 - lights out, bedtime
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Old 07-09-2013, 06:40 PM   #27
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Re: WHAT DO I DO!? so frustrating!

maybe you guys are right, and by keeping them busy, i can keep them from fighting.

so, next question: what are good punishments/consequences when they DO fight? and i say consequences because more times than not, there is an instigator.
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Old 07-09-2013, 07:43 PM   #28
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Quote:
Originally Posted by leyash
okay, so how does this look to you guys?

7:30am - wake up; breakfast
8:00 to 8:30am - tv time (probably wildman, animal planet show)
8:30 to 10:00am - outside time
10:00 to 10:30 - snack time; have them help
10;30 to 11:00 - chores; laundry, dishes, room/livingroom cleanup
11:00 to 12:00 - outside time
12:00 - 12:15 - wash up
12:15 to 1:00 - lunch; clean up
1:00 to 2:00 - tv time
2:00 to 3:00 - crafts; drawing; reading
3:00 to 4:00 - alone time/rest
4:30 to 5:00 - prep dinner/learn one cooking utencil
5:00 to 5:30 - play quietly, i cook
5:30 to 6:00 - eat dinner
6:00 to 6:30 - baths/showers
6:30 to 7:30 - tv/family time
7:30 to 8:30 - quiet room reading
8:30 - lights out, bedtime
Are these already your normal snack/meal times? Just curious..

I think 11-12 is a really hot time to be outside. The kids are basically sitting still from 1 until 5:30, minus your 30 minute lesson. Maybe switch crafts/drawing to 11-12, then tv and rest from 1-3, light snack and dinner lesson for 30 minutes, outside 3:30-4:30, then back inside to cook dinner while they play?

Do your kids shower independently? If so, I would use that time while you're cooking to rotate them in and out of the shower. Frees up some time later for family or movies, etc.

Other ideas--let each kid take a day to "teach" the others something. In the morning, you can spend some time with the kid of the day researching a topic of their choice. Later in the day, they get to teach the other kids what they learned. We used to love playing "school" growing up and I hope other kids do too. Some ideas: different kinds of dinosaurs, planets, types of rocks.. If you have access to a library, have each kid pick their topic and go to the library on Mondays and each kid can pick a few books on their topic to read and research during the week.

Some other ideas are to play "pictionary" if you have an easel or could make a setup for one. This could be a good outdoor activity if you have a flat wall you could tape some paper to. Have the kids pick words out of a hat and draw the words and let the other two guess..

And as far as consequences, my 5y/o responds best to losing things he loves, like his Friday night popcorn/movie night with dad, dessert, screen time (afternoons before dinner), or things like that. If you take any of my ideas above and they enjoy them, those could be things they lose for bad behavior. My son also hates losing his freedom. If he acts up in a store, he has to come hold my hand or the stroller. If he's bad at the grocery, he has to sit in the cart. Bad in church, he has to sit next to me. At someone's house or during a movie at home, he has to sit right next to me on the couch. I generally give him free reign until he proves he doesn't deserve it.

I'm really bad at consequences so hopefully some other mamas chime in with more ideas!

I know you said money was non-existent but one trip to the library per week is hopefully do-able and it's nice a/c in the hot part of the day. Also, hit up the dollar store for some fun ideas/toys/crafts..

Last edited by WannaBeGreen2011; 07-09-2013 at 07:45 PM.
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Old 07-09-2013, 07:52 PM   #29
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Re: WHAT DO I DO!? so frustrating!

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Originally Posted by WannaBeGreen2011 View Post
Are these already your normal snack/meal times? Just curious..

I think 11-12 is a really hot time to be outside. The kids are basically sitting still from 1 until 5:30, minus your 30 minute lesson. Maybe switch crafts/drawing to 11-12, then tv and rest from 1-3, light snack and dinner lesson for 30 minutes, outside 3:30-4:30, then back inside to cook dinner while they play?

Do your kids shower independently? If so, I would use that time while you're cooking to rotate them in and out of the shower. Frees up some time later for family or movies, etc.

Other ideas--let each kid take a day to "teach" the others something. In the morning, you can spend some time with the kid of the day researching a topic of their choice. Later in the day, they get to teach the other kids what they learned. We used to love playing "school" growing up and I hope other kids do too. Some ideas: different kinds of dinosaurs, planets, types of rocks.. If you have access to a library, have each kid pick their topic and go to the library on Mondays and each kid can pick a few books on their topic to read and research during the week.

Some other ideas are to play "pictionary" if you have an easel or could make a setup for one. This could be a good outdoor activity if you have a flat wall you could tape some paper to. Have the kids pick words out of a hat and draw the words and let the other two guess..

And as far as consequences, my 5y/o responds best to losing things he loves, like his Friday night popcorn/movie night with dad, dessert, screen time (afternoons before dinner), or things like that. If you take any of my ideas above and they enjoy them, those could be things they lose for bad behavior. My son also hates losing his freedom. If he acts up in a store, he has to come hold my hand or the stroller. If he's bad at the grocery, he has to sit in the cart. Bad in church, he has to sit next to me. At someone's house or during a movie at home, couch. I generahe has to sit right next to me on the lly give him free reign until he proves he doesn't deserve it.

I'm really bad at consequences so hopefully some other mamas chime in with more ideas!

I know you said money was non-existent but one trip to the library per week is hopefully do-able and it's nice a/c in the hot part of the day. Also, hit up the dollar store for some fun ideas/toys/crafts..
11-12 outside is a TON cooler than 3:30-4:30. like today, at 11am it was 82. at 4pm, it was 97. before noon is the best/only time to be outside, unless it's after dark. but, we won't be doing that.

the quiet time in the afternoon (1-5) is pretty necessary because i work from home. i HAVE to allow myself a few hours in the day to work.

the library isn't an option. they charge monthly fees to participate in any activities, or rent books.
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Old 07-09-2013, 07:53 PM   #30
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Re: WHAT DO I DO!? so frustrating!

oh, and as far as the snack/meal times, not really. we don't have a "set" schedule for those. they pretty much just eat when they are hungry. they might opt for breakfast 2 hours after waking, and they might just snack on fruits/veggies and not eat lunch. like today, they had hummus, apples, and banana crunch peanut butter wraps from 11-2pm, so they didn't really eat lunch, necessarily.
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