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Old 09-05-2013, 09:56 PM   #1
happysmileylady
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Am I wrong or is this unreasonable?

My oldest is 17, she will be 18 in December. She works 2 jobs, one at a movie theater, 5 to 25 hrs a week, and then she also works at my moms cake shop as needed and available. Also, she is working an unpaid internship at the National Weather Service for high school credit, since she's still a senior in high school too.

So she is occasionally asked to close at the theater, which can mean being home as late as 1am. When she was hired DH and I gave special permission for her to do this, at her request, with the assurance that it would only be occasionally. Also we told her that if she can't handle it, if her grades drop etc, we would withdraw the permission.

This next week she has been scheduled to close three times. Monday, Tuesday and Thursday. That alone seems like a lot. But on top of that, she works the internship on Monday and Tuesday as well. So, she goes to school in the morning, leaving at 7:15 ish. Then she leaves school at lunch time and drives over to the NWS and is there until 4:30. Then, rush home, scarf dinner, change and be to work at 6, until 1am. Then come home and sleep for 4 or 5 hours and get up on Tuesday and do that all again. (Wed and Thurs she doesn't have internship so she leaves school at noon and gets a bit of a break.)

Her work is aware of her school/internship schedule, which is not flexible, and agreed to work with it.

But I think asking a 17 yr old, especially one doing all that, to work until 1 am 3 times in 1 week during a school week is unreasonable in and of itself. Then, when she talked to her boss today about leaving at 11pm on Monday, they got pissy about it. Now to me that's just being onery. She didn't refuse to come in. She didn't ask to rearrange her schedule completely, she misted wanted to leave an hour or two early so that she can make sure she has some time to get homework done and actually get a decent amount of sleep too.

Am I wrong? Or are they being totally u reasonable?

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Old 09-05-2013, 10:13 PM   #2
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Re: Am I wrong or is this unreasonable?

Is it legal for her to work that late where she isn't 18 yet? I would look into labor laws in your area and make sure they are in compliance. Personally, I don't think it's reasonable, but I also don't think as a parent you should get involved in her employment. Any talking to the employer needs to be her. Now if by gave permission you mean you had to sign something for them then by all means you revoke it but if by gave permission you just mean you discussed it with your daughter and told her she couldn't, then that was between you and her not you and her employer.

I'm a high school teacher, and I hate seeing kids kill themselves trying to work the night shift. There are a lot of businesses that do it and it really jeopardizes the kids education. But I also think that parents need to realize that when their kid enters the world of work they have to let their kid handle the job. I would arm her with any info you can to help her make her case to her boss, report them if they are indeed violating labor statues, and make sure that if indeed you are ready to put your foot down with this that it means your daughter is ready to go in to her boss and let him know and potentially quit or be fired if she is unable to fullfill what her place of employment is asking her.

All that to say, no you are not unreasonable, I personally would never let my kid work the night shift while still in school. But let her handle whatever needs to be handled.
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Old 09-05-2013, 10:28 PM   #3
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Quote:
Originally Posted by slimy72
Is it legal for her to work that late where she isn't 18 yet? I would look into labor laws in your area and make sure they are in compliance.
This. Many states have hourly restrictions regarding nighttime hours for minors. I don't know where you are but this chart might help.

http://www.dol.gov/whd/state/nonfarm.htm
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Old 09-05-2013, 10:38 PM   #4
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Re: Am I wrong or is this unreasonable?

Yes, we signed a special form for the theater to schedule her that late. Most weeks, she actually doesn't close at all, and then, even when she does, it's almost always the Friday or Saturday night. One or two nights in a 7 day week is all it was originally supposed to be.

So far, she has been doing all the talking. I have been coaching her what to say. I do want her to be able to handle it, but I don't want them to think they can bully a 17 year old either. If I need to I will revoke the permission form, but then that would mean she couldn't close at all, at least until December, and that's not what she wants.
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Old 09-05-2013, 10:42 PM   #5
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Re: Am I wrong or is this unreasonable?

Yeah, I was going to bring up the child labor laws as well because I know here, you can't work that late if you're a minor. 10:30 is the latest for a 16 or 17 year old here, unless it's a school vacation or Friday or Saturday night and then 11:30pm is the latest. I think they can work til 11:30 during summer/winter/spring vacation, too but not 100% sure on that.

They can get in some major trouble if they're not complying with the law in your area so I'd definitely have her bring it up if they get ornery again (or if she's not comfortable doing so, you could).
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Old 09-05-2013, 11:01 PM   #6
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Re: Am I wrong or is this unreasonable?

What does SHE want to do? Realistically she is almost 18 and unless they are breaking labour laws they aren't doing anything wrong. Of course they're going to get pissy if she is asking to leave at 11 instead of 1, especially if they have nobody else to close.

She took on all the responsibilities and had to know that there would be times where there were conflicts. She was given permission for this to happen 1-2 times a week and they are only asking for 1 extra night over what you gave permission for. She may have to suck it up this time & remind them that she only wanted to do it 1 or 2 times a week on occasion.

Would you be questioning it if they were wanting her to work late 3 nights on the days she is not at the internship?

She needs to be prepared to lose the job if she doesn't go along with it, whether it is them letting her go or her choosing it is too much and quitting. It isn't the theatre's fault she took so much on, if they need someone and she is able to close then they'll book her for it.
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Old 09-05-2013, 11:02 PM   #7
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If this is a big chain movie theater, then I would revoke the permission if they don't allow her to leave early. I found big chain stores, whether retail, restaurant, or movie theater take advantage of you if they can. An example was, when I worked at Red Robin, I said I couldn't work Sundays but ended up filling for someone once; low and behold I was scheduled for every Sunday.

If its a small family owned business, I would keep encouraging her to try to find alternative to 1am.
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Old 09-05-2013, 11:17 PM   #8
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Re: Am I wrong or is this unreasonable?

as a senior iworked 3-4 jobs, had an internship, and paid rent, car payment, cell phone, and all other expenses as i was on my own. i worked late butit wasnt an option i needed the money. id ask her what she thinks. maybe she is ok with 4-5 hours of sleep 2 nights a week? honestly, its a job and you ok'd it. im notsure if they care you said 1-2 nights a week as long as you signed the form. in their eyes she is an employee, not a child. soif she likes the job she may sacrifice sleep occasionally...it will prepare her for the real world
of course if she isnt ok with it id step in and be all mama bear on them
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Old 09-05-2013, 11:31 PM   #9
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Re: Am I wrong or is this unreasonable?

I don't think them scheduling her for 3 nights is unreasonable. If it doesn't normally happen has she asked if it is because someone is on vacation or possibly sick or something and they have no one else to close that week. she is almost 18 and does need to be prepared for the real world where things like this do happen. At her age I had a 2yr old and a newborn was going to school and working the night shift as was my fiance and we got through it just fine.
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Old 09-06-2013, 05:59 AM   #10
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I'd ask her. If she can't handle it, she should drop it, and keep her eyes open to the pressures being put upon her. She agreed to a few, not many. All that being said, I had a tremendous amount of energy at that age and I made it all work. Maybe she can too. It's only unreasonable if it actually is.
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