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Old 10-21-2013, 09:17 PM   #11
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Re: Bedsharing and "me time"

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I know it isn't popular here, but the Ferber book saved my sanity. If you choose to go that route, read the whole book. Don't skim, don't do it based on what someone told you.

I don't regret doing sleep training for one minute. My kids go to bed at a reasonable hour. They STTN on their own. They're not damaged. And I have a precious few hours to myself so I don't go crazy and kill people.
I learned SO MUCH about sleep cycles & associations from that book. It was really helpful.

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Old 10-21-2013, 09:33 PM   #12
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A friend just did the sleep easy solution.

Her baby took to it fairly easy.
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Old 10-21-2013, 10:53 PM   #13
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I think it's a phase, both my kids would have periods like that and it was usually because they were learning a new skill, teething etc. i am not into hearing a baby cry when I know I can fix it. I'd get Netflix app on my phone with earbuds and lay with the baby.
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Old 10-22-2013, 01:51 AM   #14
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Quote:
Originally Posted by NotLad
I know it isn't popular here, but the Ferber book saved my sanity. If you choose to go that route, read the whole book. Don't skim, don't do it based on what someone told you. I don't regret doing sleep training for one minute. My kids go to bed at a reasonable hour. They STTN on their own. They're not damaged. And I have a precious few hours to myself so I don't go crazy and kill people.
I second dr. Ferber. There was a passage in there where the baby couldn't sleep unless he was next to someone. It sounds very much like your situation. Ferber is a nicer version of crying it out and it still works. I will not sugar coat it. It's hard to hear your baby cry when you know you could do something to help them sleep but it is worth it when they climb into bed and go to sleep with no crying and with no help from you. It really is a beautiful thing.

also if you are at all thinking about doing CIO. Do it sooner rather than later. It becomes much harder when they can talk and scream at the same time .
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Old 10-22-2013, 02:04 AM   #15
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I wrote this on another thread and wanted to share it here too because it was life changing for me and my baby girl.

"The book I would recommend is The 90 minute sleep solution. But since you can't read/ don't have time to read it I will summarize it for you.

My dd was 7.5 months when we started this & was waking 2-4 times per night. & it was taking 2 naps per day that were about 25 mins & it took 30 mins to get her to take that 25 min nap. Within 24-48 hrs I noticed a huge improvement. It is so simple to do

The humans level of alertness changes every 90 mins & biologically that is the best time for anyone -especially babies to fall asleep & get deeper more restful sleep. As babies get older they can start staying awake for more 90 min blocks example, 3 hrs or 4.5 hrs.

Here is how you do it: (most babies need a nap 90 mins after waking)
When your DS wakes for the day start a timer
When 80 mins have past go nurse him/rock him what ever is necessary to get him to sleep. (Later after he is getting the rest he needs you can wean him from nursing to sleep but for now I would just nurse him-that is what the book says to do)

When he wakes start your timer. At about 70-75 mins look for signs of sleepiness , yawning, rubbing his eyes. If he is showing signs if sleepiness then around the 80 mins mark nurse him or rock him to sleep.

If he is not showing signs of sleepiness then wait until 15 mins before the 3 hr mark (2 90 min blocks) & look for the signs again. Then rock/nurse him to sleep.

Do the same thing for bed time. Make sure he is going to bed in a 90 min block. Even if it is 2 90 min blocks (3hrs) or 3 90 min blocks (4.5hrs)

My dd is 12 months old and takes 2 naps
1 -90 mins after waking for 60-80 mins
Then I start my timer again and give her a nap 3 hours (2-90 min blocks) after waking and her 2 nap is 1 hr
Then I start my Timer & put her to bed 4.5 hrs after waking
And she now sleeps 12 hrs at night!!!!

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Old 10-22-2013, 02:43 AM   #16
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Re: Bedsharing and "me time"

you aren't the only one. I'm alone 5 days a week (weekends I have hubby)..Oldest really can't do sports otherwise I would have to depend on others 100% to get her to things. I don't feel ok doing that 100% of the time... if it were a little bit then ok... I have 2 littles and my time to me is swagging 2-7 somewhere swagging on comp and sometimes nptme...I fwel your pain but I can have spurts to myself sometimes.
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Old 10-22-2013, 05:53 AM   #17
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Re: Bedsharing and "me time"

I feel ya. My baby is 18 mos and cannot go to bed without me. He goes to bed by 8 PM and so do I each night.
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Old 10-22-2013, 06:21 AM   #18
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Thanks everyone. I'm hanging in there. I think I will read the ferber book and the 90 minute book regardless of how I decide to handle things.since it seems like they offer a lot in the way of understanding sleep. I also may think about side-carring the crib to give us more room and maybe make him hate the crib less?

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Originally Posted by lookatreestar View Post
I think it's a phase, both my kids would have periods like that and it was usually because they were learning a new skill, teething etc. i am not into hearing a baby cry when I know I can fix it. I'd get Netflix app on my phone with earbuds and lay with the baby.
I've entertained the possibility that it's a phase (someone recently turned me on to wonder weeks, which is really interesting) and I'm still hopeful, but I feel like his sleep has been a steady decline for a couple of months now...

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I feel ya. My baby is 18 mos and cannot go to bed without me. He goes to bed by 8 PM and so do I each night.
Kimmie, I feel like without fail when I post that I'm at the end of my rope with a problem, you have been dealing with the same thing longer or with more than one kid. I have concluded that you are wonder woman.
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Old 10-22-2013, 08:00 AM   #19
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Re: Bedsharing and "me time"

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DS went through this phase and I think partially he outgrew it and I partially "helped" him. I just would try to slowly sneak away. I would remove everything touching except one thing and then when he was really asleep remove it and try to sneak out of the room. Whenever he would wake up I would come back and start over. It took a while but he eventually was able to sleep without touching. I think the fact that every time I came back sort of reassured him that I was "there" even if I wasn't KWIM? He is still not a great sleeper though. He will go through phases of sleeping well but I usually end up in bed with him because he wakes fairly often at night. I am hoping he outgrows it soon.
This is pretty much what I did.
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Old 10-22-2013, 09:20 AM   #20
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Re: Bedsharing and "me time"

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Kimmie, I feel like without fail when I post that I'm at the end of my rope with a problem, you have been dealing with the same thing longer or with more than one kid. I have concluded that you are wonder woman.
You got this Momma. It is not easy. I just keep telling myself it is just a season of time. Soon enough they will not want us any longer. It is how I keep going...LOL!
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