Reply Hey Mom! Learn more about the Gerber Life Insurance Grow-Up Plan!
Thread Tools Display Modes
Old 10-29-2013, 08:31 AM   #1
Palooka's Avatar
Registered Users
Formerly: jenn.***
Join Date: Feb 2012
Posts: 4,437
My Mood:
serious parenting fail

I feel so guilty and just need to get it off my chest.

Yesterday was my first midwife appointment. It went great, HB sounded good, but I'm feeling really depressed lately. Anything even slightly unkind from hubby sends me into tears, I'm exhausted all the time and can't seem to get enough sleep, and I'm completely unmotivated to do anything around the house. Anyway, the appointment ended around 11am (nap time) and we went to lunch, then I drove hubby to work thinking the toddler would nap in the car. He didn't. Then I drove to the grocery, thinking he would nap in the car. He didn't. Then we drove home, again no napping in the car, but lots of shouting and happy screaming that got on my last nerve. At home I couldn't unload the groceries until he napped (3 flights of stairs), but he refused. I laid in bed with him, begged, threatened, tried music, tried our bed, more pleading and threatening. After a while he started asking for food and I knew he had eaten so I refused him and told him it was time to NAP NOW! Eventually I was so angry and frustrated that I smacked his thigh, which is not something I'm proud of, it's a sign of me being exhausted and completely frustrated. At that point I cried and told him I was so sorry and read the book he was asking for. Eventually I gave up and got out of bed and looked at the clock... it was now almost 5pm.

There is no way on earth he and I laid in bed fighting about napping for over 3 hours. We must have slept. More to the point I must have slept and not realized it. Looking back I think we both fell asleep in my bed, but honestly I don't remember sleeping at all, only desperately wanting to sleep. I thought I almost dozed off a few times but he kept waking me up. In reality we both probably napped for a couple hours, after which I woke not realizing I had slept, and continued yelling and fighting with him, and refusing him food. I'm pretty sure that I smacked him AFTER he had napped and was asking me to read a book to him.

That's some pretty ****ty parenting. Really ****ty. I haven't even told my husband. I'm so ashamed. He is SUCH a good toddler, but he just won't nap for me and it's a chronic problem anyway. I can't believe I was so tired and stupid that I treated him that way, especially since the whole time he was just trying to be sweet and play with me. I don't deserve a kid this good.


Palooka is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 10-29-2013, 08:40 AM   #2
momtojande's Avatar
Registered Users
Formerly: JonsMommy
Join Date: Apr 2007
Posts: 4,146
My Mood:
Re: serious parenting fail

Originally Posted by Palooka View Post
That's some pretty ****ty parenting. Really ****ty.
It really just sounds like extreme exhaustion to me.

It always feels awful to have those moments. But they're awful for a good reason -- because you try to be fair, kind, and loving, so those moments when you slip stand out. The fact that it stands out means it's not the norm.

This is what I tell myself: When you slip up, it's an opportunity to model for the kids how to handle it. You apologize, do what you can to correct the situation, and keep it in mind so you can handle it better next time.
momtojande is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 10-29-2013, 08:47 AM   #3
mommabritt's Avatar
Registered Users
Join Date: Jul 2008
Location: Currently MO; but wherever the Marines send us. SoCal at heart.
Posts: 9,876
My Mood:
Oh mama Severe exhaustion will get the best of anyone. Talk to hubby. Open your heart to him and then forgive yourself. Your not a ****ty parent, you are a wonderful parent, and that is why you are being hard on yourself for a slip-up.
Hi, I'm Brittney
Wife to one amazing man.
Mom to FOUR amazing blessings.

***IDSO Salt Water Sandals- White, Toddler 7***
mommabritt is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 10-29-2013, 08:48 AM   #4
Hum Bums's Avatar
Hum Bums
Registered Users
Join Date: Jun 2011
Location: Portland, OR
Posts: 4,059
Re: serious parenting fail

I'm in my first trimester and don't always handle things rationally either. My girls are running me ragged
If you weren't even aware of your consciousness, try not to beat yourself up about the thigh smack. He probably won't remember and you can just try not to let it get there again.
Ashley, Mama to Kloe (6), Claire (5) & Charlotte (2)
I will leave feedback if you leave it for me!
I don't like seeing those yellow notes next to feedback!
Voluntarily left Mod duties due to busy life!
Hum Bums is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 10-29-2013, 08:48 AM   #5
Registered Users
Join Date: Apr 2011
Posts: 8,716
Re: serious parenting fail

Mama, I don't want to minimize your feelings, know I say this in an attempt to comfort you, but the situation really isn't the big deal you see it as. It's really not ****ty parenting. I promise. It's ok to feel guilty, it's ok to recognize that you made a mistake, but that's all it is. Just a mistake. And an understandable one at that. It's really nothing to feel so ashamed about and it doesn't make you stupid..

And because it's just a's ok to forgive yourself.
Kim-married to Dan
Mama to Caiti (17), Rae Rae (4), Dani Lee(2), and CJ, born 10/12/12.
Stuff From Kim's Kloset That Special Moment Photography Also come check out Swagbucks with me!
happysmileylady is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 10-29-2013, 08:54 AM   #6
danielle's Avatar
Registered Users
Formerly: d*****
Join Date: Oct 2008
Location: Orchard Park, WNY
Posts: 9,857
My Mood:
Re: serious parenting fail

Pregnancy is tiring. You're making a whole new person. Go easy on yourself. Not just for slapping your kid, but really, go easy on yourself physically. Get the rest you need.

Oh and by the way, might your son be dropping naps? It sounds hard to believe, but my daughter dropped them at 18 months and never looked back. My son is wobbling on naps at 27 months, but he still takes them more often than not.
I run the Frontier Wholesale co-op in February, May, August & November
danielle is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 10-29-2013, 09:03 AM   #7
crazyeyesmcgee's Avatar
Registered Users
Join Date: Nov 2008
Location: Columbus, OH
Posts: 1,026
My Mood:
I did some horrible things to/with DD1 when I was pregnant with DD2. I would call my mom or my best friend, cry and get it off my chest. Then I would profusely apologize to DD1 and snuggle with her. Everyone has their moments. I agree with the PP who said that it's a chance for us to model our behavior by apologizing and admitting you were wrong. I promise you that you aren't a sh****y mom. If you didn't care/weren't upset about the situation, *maybe* that would indicate less than stellar parenting. But the very fact that you are upset shoes that you care very very very much about your son and that is what matters.
Wife to my sweet DH, SAHM to my princesses DD1 (4) and DD2 (1)
crazyeyesmcgee is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 10-29-2013, 09:20 AM   #8
Registered Users
Join Date: Mar 2011
Posts: 1,562
Re: serious parenting fail

I have had those moments without being exhausted from pregnancy.

Sometimes we have bad days. That doesn't make us any less worthy of having a good kid. Just makes us human.
Bellaroo is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 10-29-2013, 09:41 AM   #9
trying4more's Avatar
Registered Users
Join Date: Aug 2007
Location: North. Bay Area, Cali.
Posts: 9,528
My Mood:
Re: serious parenting fail

Parenting is F'ing HARD!

We are human. We have feelings and limits too. Just because a kid pops out of our uterus, doesn't give us some super power to tackle any situation for any period of time. Add, hormones and no sleep to it, and it's a recipe for chaos!

I've had my moments that I'm not proud of. We all do.

My best advice is avoid things at certain times.
Make appts before or after nap time that will allow you get in and out before the meltdown happens.
Plan your food and shopping. I wait for Sunday's when DH is home and can go with me.

Take a deep breath!
Ariana Armando
{M.o3'} {E.o5'} {C.o9'} {S.12'} {D.14'} {J.15'}
.o8 .13
trying4more is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 10-29-2013, 09:52 AM   #10
Registered Users
Join Date: Jun 2013
Posts: 1,481
Re: serious parenting fail

Pregnancy+non sleeping kid=mommy temper tantrums. My 4 year old is a terrible sleeper, always has been. I have lost it with her on many occasions. You're a wonderful mom, so stop beating yourself up. These things just happen. Go easy on yourself:-)
miriamleigh is offline   Reply With Quote

Thread Tools
Display Modes

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off

Forum Jump

Copyright 2005 - 2018 VIX-WomensForum LLC. All Rights Reserved.