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Old 10-29-2013, 03:31 PM   #1
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Im seriously at the ende of my rope with this kid

OH my dear lord. I'm seriously about to go off the deep end with my 2 year old. So I'm looking to you lovelies to help.

My 2 (almost 3) year old is driving me insane. I have no idea what has gotten into him lately but he just will not behave. I have tried everything...absolutely everything I can think of to curb his behaviors, but nothing is working.

He just...god I'm so frustrated right now it's hard to even explain why I'm so frustrated. He's more than a normal 2 year old that I've seen anyways. He wants things his way or he gets violent or mad and starts screaming. Not violent as in serial killer violent. He'll kick things (or people), start spitting, hitting, throwing things...and there is absolutely no discipline that we've tried that stops it.

We've tried talking calmly to him, we've tride time outs, we've tried putting him in another room to calm down, we've tried taking away privileges, I've even smacked his butt a time or two that I'm not proud of. But NOTHING works! He screams even more if we put him in another room with the door closed. If I put him in another room and leave the door open hell just run right back out. He just doesn't tend to care about taking things away, he never stays in time out, even when I stand there and make him sit...he just wiggles and screams and pushed back at me. I'm just so seriously at the end of my rope.

We don't give him lots of processed sugars or food other son has a sensitivity to that and his behavior deteriorates when he has anything like that. So that's almost completely out of his diet. He gets an okay amount of exercise, but I'm sure he could get more. It's just hard because were in Florida and it's still so freaking hot that I just can't take him to the park. And my daughter is too little to do much at the park anyways, without some kind of help from me and god forbid leaving my 2 year old alone.

Is there ANYTHING I haven't thought of that you ladies can suggest? Because right about now I'm ready to sell him to the circus.


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Old 10-29-2013, 05:13 PM   #2
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Going thru similar stuff with my 3.5 and 2 y/o girls.
Ashley, Mama to Kloe (5), Claire (3) & Charlotte (1)
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Old 10-29-2013, 07:24 PM   #3
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Re: Im seriously at the ende of my rope with this kid


Try to pick one specific behavior to focus on. For me it would probably be hitting or kicking people. Everyone that takes care of him needs to come up with the same response. And you need to praise him whenever he doesn't do these things, even if he pushes a chair or does something else not so desirable. We do a lot of sticker charts. My 9 year old gets a sticker each 1/2 day and after 10 gets a reward. He will probably need reward/stickers more often. Maybe breakfast, lunch, dinner, and bedtime?

We script our response and stick it on the fridge. Look closely at each episode. time of day, what was going on 10min before, what happened for 10min after. His episodes are serving a purpose for him. He has found this to be the most effective way to get what he wants. Good luck!
Suzi, working mama to my ODS(2004) , YDS(2006), DSD(2004) and married to the love of my life
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Old 10-29-2013, 07:34 PM   #4
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That sounds so hard! When my kids were too little to actually stay in time out, we did time out on our laps. We'd hold them in a hug (straight jacket style hug) facing out away from us for a minute or until they calmed down.
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Old 10-29-2013, 07:40 PM   #5
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Re: Im seriously at the ende of my rope with this kid

OH my goodness, you practically just posted the exact question that I was getting ready to come to DS with about our 3yo DD!! She's definitely always been a handful, but the last 2 weeks have been INSANE!!!! NOTHING that we've tried has been effective, and I am seriously just dying here. Her mouth is so out of control, she's hitting, constantly screaming, and just plain doesn't listen to a single thing that we tell her to do or not to do, and I have no idea why....we are by no means lax parents, she has always been held accountable and/or corrected for things that are not acceptable. We also are not overly strict to the point that she would feel smothered. There has been nothing that has changed in her life recently that would be triggering her behavior. We've tried time outs, spanking, not spanking, positive reinforcement, yelling, talking calmly, ignoring (instead of giving her attention), taking things away, etc....nothing works. Not only am I tired of her horrible behavior, but I am tired of always struggling with her...I feel like I'm losing out on her precious childhood because everything has to be a battle (and, I know all about picking your battles, she's just seriously to the point that everything becomes a battle). I want to enjoy my little girl, I love her so very much, and I hate this. I don't mean to hijack your post, but I just wanted to let you know that you're not alone...and hopefully, I can get some advice with you!
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Old 10-29-2013, 07:55 PM   #6
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Hey my brand new 3yo too.

Nothing works. Nothing.

Well, it all works for 10minutes but then we're back at square 1. Exhausting. Over and over.

I've taken to using calms forte for kids and doterra serenity.

I don't think she can help it. But I also think its intentional. Testing boundaries all day long.
SAHM to Magnolia May (09/10) and Luke Russett (04/13) and wife and best friend to my airman.
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Old 10-29-2013, 09:00 PM   #7
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Glad I'm not the only one. Sheesh! Not ten minutes after I posted he flipped a switch or something and was the best little dude ever! Hugging and kissing me, wanting to cuddle, kissing his sister, snuggling with was a little ridiculous honestly. And then an hour later he was screaming like a banshee again. It doesn't help that I have a cold or the flu or something so my usual wafer thin patience is even thinner. blah.
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Old 10-29-2013, 09:42 PM   #8
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It's the terrible twos, which go straight into the terrible 3's! ds2 is 2 1/2, and has ds1 (4 1/2) as a ring leader. So even when ds1 is in preschool i get insane amounts of sass & back talk from ds2.
It's "no! I not!" "No I not going to sleep." "Ect ect. Then he does crazy things- wants a specific cup, gets it, gets his drink. Takes a drink & 1 minute later freaks & dumps his drink into the sink because he suddenly realized he wanted a different cup. The wasting drives me crazy!! And he is fighting naps. If I can get him down at nap time it's 20 mins of fussing & yelling, then when he wakes up its another 20-1hr of fussing. BUT if I go the no nap route he's fussy until he falls asleep around 5pm and then gets up at midnight. O_o crazy little creatures, they are!
Right now they have very little self control even though they really want it, and it's extremely hard for them to control their emotional responses. I personally am not a huge fan of the toddler stage. :/ w/ds1 I really felt like I missed out because of his behavior. Now w/ds2 I am realizing this I the norm & no what to expect when ds3 arrives and he goes through this...
Hope you can get a break at some point mama!
Oh- also- I have tried calmed forte for ds1 and it never does a thing. He requires a good timeout/quiet down time, and maybe even a cry to release those emotions & get it over with. W/ds2 I still haven't found what works for him. If Im stern enough & do a timeout he apologizes but goes back to it fairly quickly...
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