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Old 01-22-2014, 03:32 PM   #21
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I had it with my first. I never ever wanted girls. The only little girls I knew were spoiled brats and I was devastated. Of course I felt horrible feeling that way toward my child. It took probably 2 weeks to snap out of it. Buying stuff helped. Getting pumped by the tiny little girly outfits and cloth diapers.

One of the reasons we didn't find out the gender with DD2 was I didn't want to feel that way again. I still thought I desperately wanted a boy then. DH didn't care either way. My mom had surprises and swore I wouldn't feel disappointed when I saw the baby in person and found out their gender then. Sure enough when she came out a boy, although I was surprised, I couldn't be disappointed.

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Old 01-22-2014, 03:48 PM   #22
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I had it with my first. I never ever wanted girls. The only little girls I knew were spoiled brats and I was devastated. Of course I felt horrible feeling that way toward my child. It took probably 2 weeks to snap out of it. Buying stuff helped. Getting pumped by the tiny little girly outfits and cloth diapers.

One of the reasons we didn't find out the gender with DD2 was I didn't want to feel that way again. I still thought I desperately wanted a boy then. DH didn't care either way. My mom had surprises and swore I wouldn't feel disappointed when I saw the baby in person and found out their gender then. Sure enough when she came out a boy, although I was surprised, I couldn't be disappointed.

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I now wonder what my reaction would have been at birth. I was so sure it was a girl. It's been two weeks now and I'm still struggling. Sigh.
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Old 01-22-2014, 03:51 PM   #23
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I was upset when I found out DD was a girl. I'd wanted another boy so bad and had myself convinced that she was a 'he'. It took a few weeks but I eventually grew to love the idea. By the time she was born, I think I bought her every giant bow and fluffy dress I could get my hands on (;
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Old 01-22-2014, 04:25 PM   #24
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Re: Talk to me about Gender Disappointment. Please.

With my first, I really wanted a boy, and was sooooo happy when the us said boy! My second, I was hoping for a girl, and again it was a boy! I will admit that I had a little ting of disappointment, not so much that he was a boy, but that I would never get those mother daughter times, that mamas of girls get, the shopping trips, wedding dress, daughter that still calls home and visits even when she is married time! Our second, is the best sweetest kindest little boy ever God knew exactly what our family needed. Now that we are preggo with number three(yeah! I was supposed to get my tubes tied but was too sick after my youngest and I didn't get it done, now we are expecting again ) I'm not even going to get excited that it could be a girl, I look at our family and how perfect my boys are and I know either way it will be perfect! ( besides that my instinct tells me boy all the way) and I can totally see the three of them having so much crazy boy fun! It is totally natural to have disappointment when you are excited about something and it doesn't come to fruition, but don't worry, the disappointment will fade and your heart will swell with love for your little boy just as it did for your other children
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Old 01-23-2014, 02:23 AM   #25
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yes i had it with my 4th. My 3rd boy. I was really upset. Worst of all my dd was just torn apart she wasnt getting a baby sister. It was tough but eventually we worked through our emotions and prepared for our 3rd boy in a row. Once he was born he was the most perfect baby and was meant to be with us. He is "ours". My dd is actually the closest to him and plays with him the most!! Crazy how it all works out. Anyways point being he 2 now and i couldnt imagine our lives without him. GL and congrats mama.
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Old 01-23-2014, 10:12 AM   #26
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Thank you mama's. It's nice to know I'm not alone if feeling this way. Guilt and sadness to even be this person is what makes me even sadder. I don't want to be disappointed but it does help to admit it out loud and know it will eventually pass.
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Old 01-23-2014, 10:54 AM   #27
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Re: Talk to me about Gender Disappointment. Please.

After I found out my first child was a boy, I went straight into the bathroom (at the OB's office) and cried. I didn't even know I wanted a girl until that moment. For me, the disappointment only lasted that long. I loved that baby so much that it didn't matter. As soon as the tears dried, I was THRILLED to be having that healthy baby boy!

With number #2, I wanted a boy. However, when I found out we were having a girl I cried b/c I didn't even know that I wanted it to be a girl!

I think PG hormones are just wacko! Period. I don't think it makes you a bad mother to have those feelings. You can't really help what you feel. BUT...you choose your actions. I think those feelings cannot ever be allowed to be used in parenting the child.

You already know this though, there is something wonderful about Mama's little boy!

Congrats! Hope all of your feelings sort themselves out soon. For me the guilt of having certain feelings is nearly always worse than the actual feelings themselves!
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Old 01-29-2014, 03:57 PM   #28
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After I found out my first child was a boy, I went straight into the bathroom (at the OB's office) and cried. I didn't even know I wanted a girl until that moment. For me, the disappointment only lasted that long. I loved that baby so much that it didn't matter. As soon as the tears dried, I was THRILLED to be having that healthy baby boy!

With number #2, I wanted a boy. However, when I found out we were having a girl I cried b/c I didn't even know that I wanted it to be a girl!

I think PG hormones are just wacko! Period. I don't think it makes you a bad mother to have those feelings. You can't really help what you feel. BUT...you choose your actions. I think those feelings cannot ever be allowed to be used in parenting the child.

You already know this though, there is something wonderful about Mama's little boy!

Congrats! Hope all of your feelings sort themselves out soon. For me the guilt of having certain feelings is nearly always worse than the actual feelings themselves!
I agree hormones are not helping. Funny my hubs cried when they said boy and he told me he didn't realize how much he wanted another boy... So that was really cute and sweet. I know I'll love him and not be able to imagine him any other way... Just hard getting over this hump... On top oh the unexpected pregnancy hump. All difficult to process.
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Old 01-29-2014, 04:32 PM   #29
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This is why I'm a huge fan of finding out the gender. Now you have 20 weeks to get PUMPED about it, rather than finding out at birth and having that weird mix of emotions when trying to bond with the baby.

It's totally normal, and you shouldn't be ashamed. Also, gender norms are changing a bunch and a lot of the things you may have wanted to do with a girl (pass down grandma's recipie, shop, etc.) can be done with boys.
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Old 01-29-2014, 04:48 PM   #30
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Re: Talk to me about Gender Disappointment. Please.

It happened to me. Before the ultrasound, I knew it would be a boy. I desperately wanted a girl, and since this might be our one and only kid, I was completely down (inside) for about a month or two or three. Everyone kept high-giving my husband, too, which made me feel like they were rubbing it in my face. Ugh!

Fast forward to a year and a half later and I am just fine with our baby boy. I wasn't very excited about shopping for boy's clothes until he was about 6 months old. Intially, I was going to decorate his room in gender neutral tones, too, to spare myself the trouble of dealing with sports themes, dinosaurs and monsters. Haha. But his room is painted a baby blue. We went with a monkey and animal theme.

I have four brothers and no sisters, so I wanted a little girl for kind of selfish reasons. I do feel like I have an advantage there. It will be easier for me to raise a boy.
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