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Old 01-02-2012, 06:27 PM   #1
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Wink BEING DRIVEN NUTS! HELP!

alright, let me first start off by saying, i love my child and this is why i have chosen to breastfeed as long as i havr. I have other, multiple reasons to wean her, but.i keep telling myself, just a little bit longer. I read an article about how the first two years of an individuals life, may be the most important for their health for threst of their life. Also, we have chosen not to vaccinate at time being so i believe ot necessary during cold amd flu season, and for brain development. But my problem is mainly based on the fact that she is now almost 15 months old. She does acrobatics when she nurses..ie.bottom in my face, elbow in my throat, foot in air...she is getting aggressive, getting bossy when not getting her way. Worst of all, she insists on grabbing the other side while nursing and running it through her fingers like a stress ball.! It is worst when she is tired because that helps her sleep and I end up letting her do it so I can rest! Lol. She also.likes to.just run her hands through my shirt. Which i absolutely can't stand anymore. Its not.cute. I'm aware if her age, but it feels like I'm being violated if u get my drift. She is a fantastic child.otherwise. I'm just looking for advice or suggestions. Hopefully I gave someone a chuckle.

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Old 01-02-2012, 06:40 PM   #2
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Re: BEING DRIVEN NUTS! HELP!

Have you tried limiting distractions while you nurse? Nurse in a darkened room. I nursing necklace might help as well.
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Old 01-02-2012, 06:43 PM   #3
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Re: BEING DRIVEN NUTS! HELP!

Yes, I have tried limiting distractions and I do have a nursing necklace. The nursing necklace she enjoys when were not nursing. She likes to yank on the cord or try to put the hematite stone in her mouth. (And she needs reminders of no. Which don't work..)
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Old 01-02-2012, 06:46 PM   #4
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No advice but I've been there. We made it 30 months if that gives you hope.

Sent from DS Forum..... probably while nursing.... please interpret accordingly
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Old 01-02-2012, 07:01 PM   #5
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Re: BEING DRIVEN NUTS! HELP!

This is really a matter of nursing manners. Every mom has their personal limit. Some moms require strict sitting still, nursing quietly, others are willing to accept the "insanity." Decide what things are/aren't working for you and slowly work on those problems.

Example: Both of my girls have, early on (by 9 months), tried "undressing" me and helping themselves. I very firmly pull my shirt back down and inform them that "mommy gets milkies out." I then ask if they want to nurse by signing nursing and saying, "Do you want milkies?". The key to that is to give them some way of asking that doesn't involve lifting your shirt.

All of your annoyances are valid. Decide which are the biggest, and put your foot down. You don't have to accept insanity to nurse into toddlerhood. The most important thing that breastfeeding teaches in childhood (IMO) is that mommy is a person and she has rights too. Let your child's first relationship be one of love, trust and respect. And that goes BOTH ways! If your children can come to accept your limitations for your body, they will have a healthier respect for their own.

EDIT: I want to add that I nursed my first until 38 months. My second is still going strong at 13 months, with the 3rd on the way. I have rules for nursing that respect my needs while meeting theirs. Rules include no touching/twiddling the other nipple, no "helping themselves," sitting reasonably still, no trying to nurse and watch tv or try to look at something far away, keeping me reasonably clothed, no pinching me while they nurse (a big problem with the 2nd), no nursing while I'm on the toilet, brushing my teeth or taking a shower (unless there's some truly extenuating circumstance)...

I'm sure there's more rules. I don't think they're unreasonable. I am a person and I deserve respect. I deserve to have my needs met too, it makes nursing beyond a year SO much more enjoyable. Being a nursing mother isn't a test of martyrdom. It should be enjoyable for BOTH parties.

Last edited by tibeca; 01-02-2012 at 07:07 PM.
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Old 01-02-2012, 07:10 PM   #6
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Re: BEING DRIVEN NUTS! HELP!

Well written. Thank you.
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Old 01-02-2012, 08:15 PM   #7
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Re: BEING DRIVEN NUTS! HELP!

Love previous post! I'll add, when my 18 month starts pulling, or gets to fidgety, I unlatch her and read a short book. I then ask her if she wants to "try more milk." I will also squeeze her tight and say "stay still." as a reminder to her before we start nursing.
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Old 01-02-2012, 09:03 PM   #8
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Re: BEING DRIVEN NUTS! HELP!

Absolutely work on nursing manners! The PP had it right. My DD is 3 and she knows that if she kicks, wiggles, bites, pokes me in the eye, or whatever unpleasant behaviors we have discussed , no more milkies right then.

My DS is 9 months old and he pinches and grabs my boob, so I try to give him a small toy to hold instead, or hold his hand, or otherwise discourage that because it hurts!
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Old 01-02-2012, 09:48 PM   #9
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Quote:
Originally Posted by tibeca
This is really a matter of nursing manners. Every mom has their personal limit. Some moms require strict sitting still, nursing quietly, others are willing to accept the "insanity." Decide what things are/aren't working for you and slowly work on those problems.

Example: Both of my girls have, early on (by 9 months), tried "undressing" me and helping themselves. I very firmly pull my shirt back down and inform them that "mommy gets milkies out." I then ask if they want to nurse by signing nursing and saying, "Do you want milkies?". The key to that is to give them some way of asking that doesn't involve lifting your shirt.

All of your annoyances are valid. Decide which are the biggest, and put your foot down. You don't have to accept insanity to nurse into toddlerhood. The most important thing that breastfeeding teaches in childhood (IMO) is that mommy is a person and she has rights too. Let your child's first relationship be one of love, trust and respect. And that goes BOTH ways! If your children can come to accept your limitations for your body, they will have a healthier respect for their own.

EDIT: I want to add that I nursed my first until 38 months. My second is still going strong at 13 months, with the 3rd on the way. I have rules for nursing that respect my needs while meeting theirs. Rules include no touching/twiddling the other nipple, no "helping themselves," sitting reasonably still, no trying to nurse and watch tv or try to look at something far away, keeping me reasonably clothed, no pinching me while they nurse (a big problem with the 2nd), no nursing while I'm on the toilet, brushing my teeth or taking a shower (unless there's some truly extenuating circumstance)...

I'm sure there's more rules. I don't think they're unreasonable. I am a person and I deserve respect. I deserve to have my needs met too, it makes nursing beyond a year SO much more enjoyable. Being a nursing mother isn't a test of martyrdom. It should be enjoyable for BOTH parties.
I just want to say, thank you for posting this!!! I have never heard it put this way and I just love it. Very wise words!
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