Reply Hey Mom! Learn more about the Gerber Life Insurance Grow-Up Plan!
 
Thread Tools Display Modes
Old 02-20-2014, 08:04 PM   #1
mommyegon's Avatar
mommyegon
Registered Users
seller
 
Join Date: Aug 2013
Posts: 1,369
My Mood:
Question Hours at work and clueless husband?!

Hi Ladies

My current work schedule is 11:30am to 10pm four days a week (Sun-Wed).

I might be able to change it... And I was wondering what would be better do you think? I am worried about not being home at night to put baby to bed. My husband will be home but he is pretty clueless? Not empathetic?... with our daughter. I feel like he will have a hard time getting our daughter down for the night and she will suffer. He isn't playful or cuddly with her... Rarely holds her. She'll be three months old when I go back to work.

Should I...

1) Keep the four day work week (Sun-Wed) with 10.5 hour shifts.... with the 11:30am to 10pm shifts??

2) Keep the four day work week (Sun-Wed) with 10.5 hour shifts... but change my hours so I am home before dinner? 8:30am to 7pm?

3) Go to a five day work week (Sun-Thurs) with 8.5 hour shifts? Would a 12:30-9:00pm shift or a 8:30-5pm shift schedule?

Thx

Advertisement

mommyegon is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 02-20-2014, 08:28 PM   #2
mibarra
Registered Users
seller
 
Join Date: Aug 2011
Posts: 8,987
If #2 is feasible and eases your mind maybe that. He may surprise you once you're not there to "save" him, and it may really help them bond.
mibarra is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 02-20-2014, 08:50 PM   #3
mommyegon's Avatar
mommyegon
Registered Users
seller
 
Join Date: Aug 2013
Posts: 1,369
My Mood:
Re: Hours at work and clueless husband?!

I really hope that is the case! He is such a goon... He just came up and body slammed himself into our bed... And I was breast feeding baby (side lying) to sleep. Ughhh
mommyegon is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 02-20-2014, 09:10 PM   #4
squirrelgirl's Avatar
squirrelgirl
Registered Users
seller
seller
 
Join Date: Jan 2014
Location: tennessee
Posts: 841
My Mood:
Re: Hours at work and clueless husband?!

I agree with pp. Try not to worry too much about it. Give dh a chance to surprise you. At this age it's hard for daddy's (especially first time daddy's) to bond with baby. All you're attention is on baby instead of him like it used to be. You do all the feeding, holding, bathing etc. Essentially he is the third wheel in your group. it is awkward for him. he doesn't know his place yet. Once you get into a "normal life" routine, and he can find his place, he will form his own relationship with baby and everything will work out great.
__________________
I'm Brittany! Wife to B since 10/09 & blessed CDing, BFing, BWing momma to K(4/11) & P(11/12).

Because the sinless Savior died, my sinful soul is counted free!
squirrelgirl is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 02-20-2014, 09:12 PM   #5
saraley's Avatar
saraley
Registered Users
seller
seller
 
Join Date: Apr 2013
Location: Nebraska
Posts: 3,423
My Mood:
Quote:
Originally Posted by mommyegon View Post
Hi Ladies

My current work schedule is 11:30am to 10pm four days a week (Sun-Wed).

I might be able to change it... And I was wondering what would be better do you think? I am worried about not being home at night to put baby to bed. My husband will be home but he is pretty clueless? Not empathetic?... with our daughter. I feel like he will have a hard time getting our daughter down for the night and she will suffer. He isn't playful or cuddly with her... Rarely holds her. She'll be three months old when I go back to work.

Should I...

1) Keep the four day work week (Sun-Wed) with 10.5 hour shifts.... with the 11:30am to 10pm shifts??

2) Keep the four day work week (Sun-Wed) with 10.5 hour shifts... but change my hours so I am home before dinner? 8:30am to 7pm?

3) Go to a five day work week (Sun-Thurs) with 8.5 hour shifts? Would a 12:30-9:00pm shift or a 8:30-5pm shift schedule?

Thx
I worried about that a lot w my DH but learned that I just had to step back , trust him, and let him "learn" to be a daddy. He still doesn't do things exactly how I would like all the time, but he is a good dad that just dIdnt have a clue until he was forced to figure it out. all that being said- if you can be home at bed time I would still go w that option, just bc if you can why not???
__________________
Sarah- Married to my "Nebraska Farmer" 1/09;
SAHM to Barrett 7/12 (and Lovin' every minute of it)
saraley is online now   Reply With Quote
Old 02-20-2014, 09:14 PM   #6
Mama*Kim's Avatar
Mama*Kim
Registered Users
seller
seller
 
Join Date: Apr 2012
Location: WA
Posts: 6,323
My Mood:
I went back to work when DS1 was five weeks old. I was a mess and was sure DH would flub something up. He did great. He was constantly texting me funny pictures of them together. Once I stepped back, he was more than prepared to step up, he just needed to be given the chance. I say, give your DH a chance. He may very well surprise you.
__________________
Hi! I'm Shannon Wife to J
Mama to a couple of crazy boys - L (12/07) and E (2/11)
and Meatball coming 4/14
Mama*Kim is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 02-20-2014, 09:23 PM   #7
luvsviola's Avatar
luvsviola
Registered Users
seller
seller
 
Join Date: Dec 2006
Location: Central Indiana
Posts: 17,103
My Mood:
Re: Hours at work and clueless husband?!

I would do what you have so kiddo has minimal daycare costs. Hubby can better bond with kiddo, and learn to parent better.

Remember...he won't get better at taking care of her unless you step back and make him. Many men will take the easy way out if mom is around. If you are gone, it probably won't be done the way YOU would do it, but she will learn that daddy does it his way, and they will have special memories together.
__________________
Kristen
Middle school teacher by day, super mom by night
Mommy to The Boss~2007, The Energizer Bunny~2009, and The Princess~2011
My kids are no longer in diapers, but somehow, my computer keeps finding its way back here...

Last edited by luvsviola; 02-20-2014 at 09:25 PM.
luvsviola is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 02-21-2014, 06:14 AM   #8
Nerissa
Registered Users
seller
 
Join Date: Feb 2011
Location: small town USA
Posts: 5,419
My Mood:
Re: Hours at work and clueless husband?!

I would let him figure it out. It will only benifit you in the long run. He is a dad. I see so many posts about how their DH's can't do anything, they don't step up,. Here is your chance. Let him figure it out. Set him up for success the first few times but don't do everything for him.

My work schedule is 6:30 to 2:30 M-F. DH goes to work anytime after 9am and gets home around 9pm Tues-Sat.

Our kids do not go to daycare on Mondays. He does all the morning stuff---up, dressed, off to school and daycare.

With our first he was just like any new parent and it took him a bit to figure out he wasn't going to break the baby and he can do other stuff while watching the baby. LOL!!!. Now 7 years and 3 kids later on his Mondays off he will run errands, go places, ect. Many times he will drop the 4 year old off at daycare and him and the baby will go to the grocery store, if he needs to do something for work, take kids to appointments, ect.

The only things I get ready is I back the daycare bag on Sunday for the week and try and fill the kids day of the week organizer for an outfit for each day. (I don't always remember). Otherwise he does everything else
__________________
wife and mom-- no other special labels. Just trying to do the best I can.
Nerissa is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 02-21-2014, 08:36 AM   #9
Angel89411
Banned
 
Join Date: Nov 2009
Posts: 8,157
#2 looks best to me. Coming from a spouse with a DH who works long shifts. We both love 3 day weekends and a weekday to make appts and stuff.
Angel89411 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 02-21-2014, 09:40 AM   #10
juliefarnsworth87's Avatar
juliefarnsworth87
Registered Users
seller
 
Join Date: Jun 2013
Location: North Carolina
Posts: 982
My Mood:
I think he would be cuddly with her if left alone. Some men just need the privacy to be intimate. They don't want to be put on the spot. She's only 3 months old She's not doing to much yet. And He's her dad so he get to choose half the parenting. Ya know?
juliefarnsworth87 is offline   Reply With Quote
Reply

Thread Tools
Display Modes

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off

Forum Jump

Copyright 2005 - 2014 Escalate Media. All Rights Reserved.