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Old 02-21-2014, 09:29 PM   #21
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Re: Hours at work and clueless husband?!

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I don't know- this is definitely not scientific or anything- but baby's are smart even when they are little- my little guy would scream bloody murder if he knew I was home, and was an option, but when it was just Dad and him- he was fine. Sounds like Daddy, and baby might both have a little bit of a learning curve and getting used to each other but it probably won't happen until they are both forced to. I know some mom's won't agree with me but I think that it is important to baby's development (even if it is uncomfortable at first); to be able to be cared for by Dad, and Dad's development as a parent.
I agree with this 100%. But I will add: do not panic if it doesn't go well right away! Be patient with dh and encourage him to be patient with baby! I will never forget the first night I went back to work with dd1. She was 5 weeks and I was a waitress working nights. When I came home I could hear her crying when I got out of the car! I walked in the door and dh was there holding her out to me with this deer in the headlights look on his face. As soon as she saw me she made this big sigh and stopped crying. Fast forward to now and she doesn't want anything to do with me if daddy is home! She is completely a daddy's girl! Anyways! The point is try not to worry it all works out!

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Old 02-21-2014, 10:32 PM   #22
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Re: Hours at work and clueless husband?!

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It's so nerve racking because our daughter doesn't go to sleep without nursing side lying in our bed... She just screamed bloody murder for 15 minutes in his arms while I was down stairs. As soon as I took her she quieted and I nursed her to sleep.

How is my husband supposed to get her to bed? She will not take a pacifier. Bottles of my milk don't calm her.

Any advice??
Personally, I would stop nursing to sleep. I deliberately never nursed to sleep because although it was easier for me, it meant that I was required for sleep to happen and I didn't think that was fair to dd when I knew I wasn't always going to be there.

Wake - eat - play - sleep - repeat for 5 months... There are lots of books that talk about this type of routing. Baby Whisperer, No cry sleep solution etc..
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Old 02-22-2014, 08:25 PM   #23
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Re: Hours at work and clueless husband?!

Thanks for all this wonderful advice. I am gonna keep rereading your responses to remind myself it will be okay...!

Question tho... Do you have any advice for trying to get her to use a pacifier?? We have all the brands we could find but she hates them! Maybe I am offering them incorrectly??
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Old 02-22-2014, 08:25 PM   #24
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Re: Hours at work and clueless husband?!

Thanks for all this wonderful advice. I am gonna keep rereading your responses to remind myself it will be okay...!

Question tho... Do you have any advice for trying to get her to use a pacifier?? We have all the brands we could find but she hates them! Maybe I am offering them incorrectly??
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Old 02-22-2014, 09:21 PM   #25
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Some babies just do not take a pacifier (or bottle!) despite trying a ton of different brands. I think they get frustrated that it's not a real thing and just reject it completely.
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Old 02-23-2014, 02:29 AM   #26
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Re: Hours at work and clueless husband?!

Omg... She's gotta take a bottle! What will we do when I am gone 11 hours a day!?
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Old 02-23-2014, 06:02 AM   #27
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Re: Hours at work and clueless husband?!

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Omg... She's gotta take a bottle! What will we do when I am gone 11 hours a day!?
She will take a bottle! She won't let herself be hungry too long! I can't help with the paci. I couldn't get either one of mine to take one.
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Old 02-23-2014, 09:56 AM   #28
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Re: Hours at work and clueless husband?!

She'll take a bottle! She may scream for the first few days, but she'll adjust. I promise you it won't be as bad as you think. I'm always a total basket case before I go back to work after a new baby. I get so anxious about it and it's always fine! And then I'm like "why did I waste so much time and energy freaking out?"
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Old 02-23-2014, 10:31 AM   #29
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Originally Posted by mommyegon
Thanks for all this wonderful advice. I am gonna keep rereading your responses to remind myself it will be okay...! Question tho... Do you have any advice for trying to get her to use a pacifier?? We have all the brands we could find but she hates them! Maybe I am offering them incorrectly??
This I could help with. Take whatever pacifier you have had the most success with. We use mam pacifiers and they work great. When she is kind of fussy but not overly so take the pacifier and rub it back and forth across the top of here mouth. It will take a little bit, but she will start to suck on it. The soothies work well for other moms. You can put your finger in them and rub the top of her mouth back and forth. She will start to suck and then you can take your finger out. Works like a charm!
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Old 02-23-2014, 05:06 PM   #30
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Re: Hours at work and clueless husband?!

On the paci thing, my girls learned to take the paci when I would put it into their mouths and then Immediately turn them towards my chest in the nursing/rocking position and start walking/rocking/bouncing. They might yell a little around the paci at first (every time at first) and then start sucking after a minute or two of protest. Now that my littlest is 7 months, she will only take the paci from Daddy as she knows I'm the one with her breast friends and he isn't.
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