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Old 06-03-2007, 11:18 PM   #21
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Re: I don't wanna CIO, but I'm out of ideas, please help!!!

Ooey:

I posted in "off topic" thinking it was "parenting". I knew I'd get more esponses here so I C&P reposted it here. YOu're not going crazy...

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Old 06-03-2007, 11:30 PM   #22
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Re: I don't wanna CIO, but I'm out of ideas, please help!!!

A couple mamas recommended a wrap or mei tai. We have a Kozy and use it alot. When she's really tired she does the "stiff as a board" routine and it isn't possible to get her on my back myself. A wrap is on my wish list. Now if I could just find that money tree... I have a homemade stretchy one, but she is getting too big for stretch and I can't get her secure enough without help. Not sure if more practice would help or if a woven type wrap is our only option.

Luckily, Saturday was DH's one night off and he helped put the two olders to bed tonight too, and went in late. So I have regrouped and tonight wasn't so bad. I think I am going to try to back wrap some more tomorrow and see if I can figure it out. Not sure she will like that either, but we haven't tried it at bedtime and it sounds like it might work.

Thanks for all your help mamas. Keep it coming.
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Old 06-03-2007, 11:56 PM   #23
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Re: I don't wanna CIO, but I'm out of ideas, please help!!!

i am here with you momma! but w/ one less child 5yo and 10 month dd. my 10 month old will not nap either! i am so tired bu bedtime! we also co-sleep. i started putting my 5 yr old to sleep first, that way it was a little more peaceful trying to get the babe tosleep.

the only time i ever let her cio was about 3 weeks ago. she had not really slept in 2 days and i was so tired that i was falling asleep. i was so afraid that she would get hurt! her crib is in our room, i put her in it and laid down right beside it and put my arm into it so that she could feel me and know that i was there. i woke up 2 hours later to a dd that was still screaming. my older dd said she screamed the whole time! i was so tired!
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Old 06-05-2007, 12:12 AM   #24
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Re: I don't wanna CIO, but I'm out of ideas, please help!!!

Quote:
Originally Posted by keelykellen&kiera View Post
A couple mamas recommended a wrap or mei tai. We have a Kozy and use it alot. When she's really tired she does the "stiff as a board" routine and it isn't possible to get her on my back myself. A wrap is on my wish list. Now if I could just find that money tree... I have a homemade stretchy one, but she is getting too big for stretch and I can't get her secure enough without help. Not sure if more practice would help or if a woven type wrap is our only option.

Luckily, Saturday was DH's one night off and he helped put the two olders to bed tonight too, and went in late. So I have regrouped and tonight wasn't so bad. I think I am going to try to back wrap some more tomorrow and see if I can figure it out. Not sure she will like that either, but we haven't tried it at bedtime and it sounds like it might work.

Thanks for all your help mamas. Keep it coming.
Oh, I know that "Stiff as a board" move! lol I find there is a crucial time and after that forget about it! Try finding that time! Maybe make it a game. Thats sorta what I do....Now its the time to play upp upp on mommys back!!
At first she was quite irritated, but now she knows whats going on and just giggles! good luck
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Old 06-05-2007, 12:38 AM   #25
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Re: I don't wanna CIO, but I'm out of ideas, please help!!!

Hey there mama...dont know if you found a method that works for you yet but I just wanted to let you know that I had the same problem when my son was the same age...we did the Ferber method and while it was very, very hard, my son now lays down with no problems at bedtime (naptime is a different story). My ds is now almost 16 months. Good luck to you and hang in there..I hope you find some that works for you!
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Old 06-05-2007, 05:06 AM   #26
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Re: I don't wanna CIO, but I'm out of ideas, please help!!!

I did not want to CIO either, but after 10 months of waking 3-6 times to nurse and DD having no ablity to self soothe I just couldn't stand it anymore! So when I was at my parents on vacation last week I did it...and it was not so bad. My sister sat with me through it and surprisingly it only lasted about 30 minutes. She stood up in her crib and cried and cried but she was safe and unhurt. After about 20 minutes she layed down and sort of rolled all around and hummed to herself. She slept 6 hours...totally unheard of for her! Then she only woke 2 times to nurse. That has kept up since then and now she sleeps so much better. Naps are that way too! If she won't nurse down then I just lay her down and she rolls around and goes to sleep and sleeps for 2-2.5 hours. It was unpleasant for one day and a couple of other short times but it is better for her in the long run. If you are really fed up then try it for a couple of days...from what you have said it can't be any worse that what you have now and it just might help you! HTH, Danni
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Old 06-05-2007, 07:24 AM   #27
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Re: I don't wanna CIO, but I'm out of ideas, please help!!!

I know you're against CIO, and I was too, but it was honestly a good thing for us. If Maddie wouldn't nurse or do anything like that, I'd put her in bed, give her the lovey and her pacifier, say "Night night," and then leave the room. If 5 minutes later she was still crying (not fussing, fussing means she is upset, but going to sleep), I would go in, comfort her with the lovey and pacifier, and then leave again. In another 5 minutes, I'd go back in if she was still crying, and repeat. If in another 5 minutes she was still upset, that's when we'd try to nurse or rock. It really helped Madison develop skills to put herself to sleep. She will get up now, sit up, put her pacifier in her mouth, snuggle her lovey, and go back to sleep. I always felt like CIO was awful, but doing it definitely helped her to develop sleep skills. Just something to think about. It doesn't have to be cold and heartless, you can comfort them while doing it, but let them know that going back to sleep, or just going to sleep is something they'll need to learn to do on their own. I don't think of Maddie and I as less attached or having less of a relationship after CIO. We're just as attached. Plus, now that we're over the initial "hump" (it takes 5-7 days to see improvement with above method, based on results with Maddie and a couple of her baby-friends), I do feed her if she wakes up in the night. We don't CIO anymore, really, because she's already developed those skills. So, now I know that when she wakes up, it's for real, and she needs me (it's not just a "I dropped my pacifier, and it's the end of the world" thing). As a single Mom, I just had to do it. Seven months of no sleep was awful, and I had no one to help at night. In order to be a patient, loving Mother, I needed sleep.
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Old 06-05-2007, 09:25 AM   #28
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Re: I don't wanna CIO, but I'm out of ideas, please help!!!

I just wanted to send you sympathy!! My ds was the same way, we tried to cosleep but that just didn't work after about 6 months. He would not nurse to sleep after that point and then only the sling or swing would work and then by around a year (I think) who wouldn't fall asleep in the sling or swing either. It was pure torture. Nothing would get him to sleep and we were spending hours trying (and I don't have any other children even). Finally, we ended up putting him in his crib and staying with him until he went to sleep. We would pat his bottom, rub his back whatever and eventually he did go to sleep. Their was definately crying involved though but I do have to say that he was crying plenty before we did this too. Eventually he learned that he needed to sleep in his crib and things got easier but even now we still have to go in with him and help him to sleep, usually with bottom patting but most nights the whole routine is down to about 30 minutes which is a big improvement.

I also read The No Cry Sleep Solution and really liked it and have used lots of the suggestions in it along this crazy path to better sleep. I am trying her suggestions now to try and get him to goto sleep without touching from us but it is slow work, lol!

Good luck and I give you lots of credit for dealing with this on your own 6 nights a week, it is so hard!
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Old 06-05-2007, 02:50 PM   #29
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Re: I don't wanna CIO, but I'm out of ideas, please help!!!

How long has she been not napping during the day?? Is there any way you can shift her sleep schedule a bit so that she can have a little afternoon nap and go to bed later?

I'm alone at night often as well as my husband works A LOT of late nights. We have dinner, then I give the little ones a bath, then the big ones get a bath (unless it's too late), then it's time for bed. DD is usually pretty crabby by that time, but I just use it to my advantage in hurrying the boys along to bed. Then, once they are tucked in, I nurse/rock her to sleep in the living room with the tv on quiet and the lights off. She's usually in bed by about 9-9:30 - but she takes a nap around 1 for about 2-3hrs. Anyhow, if you can deal with keeping her up late for a night or two and then maybe try to squeeze in a nap during the day, perhaps that may help? or perhaps not! Sorry, I know I'm reaching here. I know how desparate a good sleep routine can be! It took us a long time to finally get Ellie to do something that works for everyone! Maybe if you can wear her on your back in the afternoon after lunch and see if she can get a snooze that way?
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Old 06-05-2007, 04:13 PM   #30
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Re: I don't wanna CIO, but I'm out of ideas, please help!!!

Heres a idea and it works for me and also for their dad. It may be closer to the cry it out than others ideas. He's better now but for a while i would have to hold him to nurse him, meaning he wasn't able to pull off and turn around, or get down or anything. It worked and he soon learned that it was bedtime. It works for their dad too, he just holds him down laying next to him in the bed. The amount of time gets shorter and shorter
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