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Old 08-13-2014, 02:12 PM   #1
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People with no children know best.

Isn't it amazing how those with no childrearing experience know all there is to know about raising your children?

My kids went to spend last week with a friend of ours.

We have since been told by this friend attempting to help correct our deficits as parents we are dressing our daughter wrong, neglecting her spiritual needs, treating her like she is younger than she is etc, etc, etc,

Her clothing issues? She wears baseball caps, boys shirts, jeans, and no make up.

Why do we dress her that way? Because that is what she picked out for herself. Contrary to popular belief(this isn't the only person who thinks we force our daughter to dress this way) we do not make her dress that way. Well, except for the make up issue. We do prefer her to wait a bit longer for that. Although she herself has not really shown any interest in make up.

As for age appropriateness? Yes my 15 year old daughter still plays with her barbies and stuffed animals. I suppose I could take them away and tell her she must choose something else to play with. Seems weird to me though. If that is what she wants to do then why is it wrong? Those are not her only interests just some of them. The rest are more in keeping with her age. She wants to volunteer at the animal shelter, loves to draw, listen to music, read, play computer games, spend time with friends, etc.

I could go on but the apparent purpose of her phone call was to let me know what we were doing wrong and how she had begun to correct those issues and how we should continue with what she had started doing. Yeah right! I wish instead of babysitting other peoples kids and giving out advice she would get kids of her own so she had some idea what she was talking about. Or better yet realize she knows didly squat about other people's children.

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Old 08-13-2014, 02:13 PM   #2
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Re: People with no children know best.

Rant over.

Last edited by qsefthuko; 08-13-2014 at 02:17 PM.
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Old 08-13-2014, 05:09 PM   #3
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Re: People with no children know best.

My oldest is getting ready to turn 14 and some of her favorite shirts are plaid button-ups that friends have given us for our son. She just grabbed them first. lol As for make-up, she has used mascara a couple times because she feels her eyes get lost behind her glasses, but that is it.

I love that your daughter doesn't feel she has to dress a certain way or do certain things because it is what is expected of her age. Good for her for being herself, and good for y'all for letting her.
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Old 08-13-2014, 05:32 PM   #4
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Re: People with no children know best.

I know people who give unsolicited advice to us about my dd.

She doesn't dress like whatever they think a teen should dress like. She has strong feelings about what she wants to wear and not wear.

I had to plead for her to wear a bit of makeup for her dance recital. It was hilarious because I bought my whole case and ended up using maybe three things.

She has long beautiful dark hair that she likes to wear in braids. Strangers stop to compliment her on it but the "know it alls" tell her to cut it off.

I figure that if everyone was pleased with the way we do things then I would be doing something wrong.
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Old 08-13-2014, 07:19 PM   #5
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Re: People with no children know best.

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Originally Posted by Agla View Post

I figure that if everyone was pleased with the way we do things then I would be doing something wrong.
That's a great line!

I have a 14yo DD and I LOVE that she has retained so much innocence in this crazy world! She's never been one for Barbies, but she still loves her American Girl dolls. She also loves writing stories, drawing, reading and playing Minecraft.

She likes girl clothes, but she dresses modestly and has shown no interest in makeup.
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Old 08-13-2014, 07:24 PM   #6
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Re: People with no children know best.

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I figure that if everyone was pleased with the way we do things then I would be doing something wrong.
I love that as well.

Yeah I am in no hurry to make her grow up faster. Once grown up you cannot go back and regain your innocence. Once gone, it is gone forever.
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Old 08-13-2014, 07:25 PM   #7
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Re: People with no children know best.

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Originally Posted by Southernbelle View Post
That's a great line!

I have a 14yo DD and I LOVE that she has retained so much innocence in this crazy world! She's never been one for Barbies, but she still loves her American Girl dolls. She also loves writing stories, drawing, reading and playing Minecraft.

She likes girl clothes, but she dresses modestly and has shown no interest in makeup.
She sounds a lot like my daughter. She spends hours writing stories and then has her dolls and animals act it out. She too loves Minecraft.
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Old 08-13-2014, 08:12 PM   #8
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Originally Posted by tallanvor View Post
My oldest is getting ready to turn 14 and some of her favorite shirts are plaid button-ups that friends have given us for our son. She just grabbed them first. lol As for make-up, she has used mascara a couple times because she feels her eyes get lost behind her glasses, but that is it.

I love that your daughter doesn't feel she has to dress a certain way or do certain things because it is what is expected of her age. Good for her for being herself, and good for y'all for letting her.
Agree!! Love love love to see kids, but especially girls, raised to make thier own decisions and follow thier interests shamelessly instead of worrying about fitting in to someone else's idea of what they should be!

I still have some favorite toys that I'm so excited for my kids to grow in to

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Old 08-13-2014, 09:30 PM   #9
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Re: People with no children know best.

I knew an awful lot about how to raise kids before I had any of my own. RME

I don't imagine your daughter will be going back to spend time with this know-it-all person without parents anytime soon.
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Old 08-13-2014, 09:50 PM   #10
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Re: People with no children know best.

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Originally Posted by GEM Cloth View Post
I knew an awful lot about how to raise kids before I had any of my own. RME

I don't imagine your daughter will be going back to spend time with this know-it-all person without parents anytime soon.
That was what I was thinking. Only my sister's kids stayed with her for a few days after my kids left. She went to pick them up today and will stay the night tonight. Since it is a long drive alone with 3 small children one with special needs she asked if my daughter could go along to help. So she is back again today. She really does need someone with her for the drive or I would have said no. Her youngest is on a feeding tube and has a trach. My daughter, the one we treat younger than she is according to this friend, will be responsible for helping clean up any vomit(chronic reflux issues despite several surgeries and meds), making sure the airway is clear after any vomiting eipisodes, and will help with feeds during the drive including flushes(pushing water through the tubes after baby is done feeding). Yup, we don't give her enough responsibilities. Not only has she been taught to do those things, she has done them before. This is not her first time. She does these things and does them well.

I did ask my sister to keep a close eye on things for me.

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